Harry Potter and the Search
by LeTimbo
Summary: Harry packs up and leaves Britain to find himself and find peace, and starts in the States, goes to college and just might eventually become a magical minister? Eventually Unitarian/non-denominational spirituality. Starts s-l-o-w, gets to deeper stuff starting Chapter 10. Updating often during June. First three chapters written in 2008, everything since in 2012.
1. Chapter 1 Preparing to Move On

Harry Potter and The Search

A/N- This is going to be spiritual, and Unitarian/non-denominational spiritual, so if you want to flame away feel free. I promise not to get too preachy, and you'll never see in this story "covert to Unitarianism." Technical note – I struggled with POV, first vs. third person, so I'm doing a combo (yes, bad writer) therefore italics are Harry's thoughts. It's been a while since I've read the cannon again, so I might get a few details wrong. So for those details, pretend it's an AU. Chapters will take a long time, as I've got a rather busy life and a lot of these later chapters are going to have some depth to them, which takes time to write. I'm assuming this chapter takes place around 1998, for purposes of accurate technology later. Also, a note to my other stories on here, those are not surprisingly on hiatus. I'm just not interested in writing them right now. This is where I am as a writer right now, and I wanted to see if I could combine Harry Potter and my spirituality in a story. So here goes my experiment.

Finally, I could use a beta. I know they have the available betas thing, but if anyone is interested in helping out and the story sounds intriguing to you, shoot me a message.

* * *

**Harry Potter and The Search**

**Chapter 1 – Preparing to Move On**

"Dearest Ginny,

I wish I could do this by anything other than sending you a note, but I don't think I could bear to face you to give you this news. I need to get out of Britain. It's too much. Right now, everywhere I look reminds me of death. Every time I pause to breathe, images of the final battle haunt me. Everyone reminds me of those I lost. I just can't do it anymore. I just can't. I can't stay. Please, you have to understand, the only thing harder than leaving is staying. I don't want to leave, but I can't stay. I don't know where I might end up, but I can safely say it won't be on this damn island for now. I am so sorry. But if you ever loved me, then you would understand and let me go. When I'm recovered, whatever that means, I'll find you.

-Harry"

_That's the last of them. I thought after the first eight, this one would be easier. Why. Why did I think that? I supposed I thought I would have been numb by this point, but not numb enough apparently. Not numb enough. _

_Two weeks. Has it really been that long? It seems like it's been forever and a second all at once. But it has to be done. I can't stay. I can't stay. I have to get off this island. And I have to make the preparations. My final trip to Diagon Alley. I just hope my disguise will be enough._

It was time for Harry Potter to leave Britain behind. Although he had lived there some 18 years, he just never really considered it home. He didn't know what home quite felt like, but he assumed it wouldn't be haunted by the memories of lost friends and family. So he decided a week after the final battle with Voldemort, the former Dark Lord feared by most, and his reign of terror to leave the "home" that had both celebrated and forsaken him. He was tired of living in the limelight, and it was time for him to find his own way free of others' expectations. And the only way he could imagine it was leaving Britain. He knew his friends would be dismayed, but he figured if they were his true friends they would eventually understand and forgive him.

The hardest to leave would be Ginny. Despite not seeing her for the better part of a year, he felt a connection with her he hadn't felt with anybody before. Yes, he would miss Hermione and Ron, but not in the same way. But it had to be done. He felt that he had to leave to truly discover himself and find the peace he assumed existed, but never had experienced himself.

But on this day before he left, he had to prepare. So he pulled out his wand, held it out, and hailed the Knight Bus. It was time to go to Diagon Alley, and say goodbye to Grimmauld Place.

_  
I still get that Dumbledore sparkly eye whenever the bricks open and the entrance appears. Ok. What do I need? Where's that list?_

_Magical – Diagon Alley__  
Magical Suitcase__  
Maps  
Guidebooks  
Any books that look worthwhile  
Endless Journal_

_Way to spend muggle money without big hassle_

_Non-Magical – London__  
Clothes  
Electronic Fun stuff__  
Plane tickets  
Books  
Anything else that looks important_

_Ok. First stop Gringotts. Need gold for all of this, and I can knock out the muggle money issue._

Diagon Alley seemed to still be bustling with activity, with people catching up on their household supplies with it now safe to travel outside the home. It wasn't nearly as busy as last week, but still more crowded than Harry was used to seeing. His disguise of a dark cloak, muggle makeup to cover his scar, and a muggle ski cap was enough to let him go by unnoticed on his way to the Goblin bank. He patted his pockets to make sure he hadn't absentmindedly left his key back at number 12 Grimmauld Place, where he had just spend his last night.

Harry walked into the bank and made his was through the line, behind the two witches gossiping about what Qudditch team Harry Potter would play for now. He was thankful for more than one reason that his place in line had finally made it to the teller.

"Yes?" asked the goblin.

"Is it possible for me to get a private room?"

"And why would I grant that Mr…"

Harry took out his key and showed it to the goblin, who had yet to introduce himself to Harry. When the goblin saw the key, he did a double take and searched Harry's face. Harry was caught off guard when the goblin suddenly yelled, "Nichrod!"

"Nichrod?"

"He will show you to a private room. A teller will be in with you shortly."

"Thank you."

The tiniest goblin Harry had ever seen, which is saying something as goblins aren't that big to begin with, appeared before Harry and said, "Follow me."

_Maybe he's a baby goblin? Here as a grunt worker, not old enough to have a teller job? _

Harry followed Nichrod as Nichrod made his way up a set of stairs and into a room labeled "Teller Room Eighteen."

"Wait here," ordered Nichrod and shut the door behind him.

Harry shrugged and had barely managed to sit down before the door flew open, "What can I do for you Mr. Potter?"

Harry was shocked to see a witch instead of a goblin. The witch must have seen his shocked expression as she smirked and said, "We do have human employees too. Sometimes our bank clients want someone who would understand various human needs. And you aren't the goblin's favorite person after your little, shall we say excursion, here a few months ago. Don't worry," she added seeing Harry's nervous expression, "I am still under the same binding secrecy clause as the Goblins and the Goblins have agreed that your…excursion…was in the best interests of protecting their future so that have formally pardoned you and given you a slight reward for 'exposing their security flaws.'"

Too say Harry was shocked was a slight understatement. He replied with an eloquent, "Pardon?"

She waved it off, "So lets get down to business. What's your request today?"

"I plan on doing a fair bit of traveling."

"Magical or muggle?"

"Well, mostly muggle. But I'd imagine I might work in some magical at some point."

She nodded. "You were raised Muggle, correct?"

Harry looked a little suspicious at this comment. "What does that have to do with-"

"Are you familiar with a 'debit card'"

"Is that like an ATM card?"

She nodded. "Think of it as a cross between an ATM card and a credit card," she paused seeing comprehension dawn in Harry's eyes, "and it can be linked directly to your vaults here."

"Vaults? As in plural?"

"Yes Mr. Potter. You haven't been informed of those yet?"

He shook his head, bewildered.

"Well, then I need to get a little more paperwork. I shall return. Here, help yourself to tea." She waved her wand, a tea set appeared, and she left.

_I have more than one vault? What's been hidden from me now? I swear, the secrecy surrounding my life is ridiculous._

Harry helped himself to a cup of tea, and had taken his third sip when the teller reentered the room, shut the door, and cast a privacy spell on the door.

"First things first Mr. Potter, we talk about your assets here. Then we will get the debit card set up for you. Now, according to our record the only withdrawals have been made from one account, your family vault. Correct?"

He nodded and replied, "That's the only one I was aware of."

She sighed slightly. "You should have been told about this years ago. First off, you were named as one of a few heirs to Albus Dumbledore. He named three heirs, Hogwarts, the Order of the Phoenix, and Harry Potter. You're entitled to one third of his vault's contents. You were also named honorary heir to the Johnson, Pierce, and Greene families whose final members passed during the recent conflict."

"I've never even heard of those families!"

She shrugged. "This happens during wartime. Families flock here to name honorary heirs in case of disaster. Usually they name more than one, in case some of them perished as well. It's all very standard. Now, I am not surprised this hasn't reached you yet, but the new ministry has confiscated the vault contents of all dead, missing, or convicted Death Eaters. Now, the ministry is keeping most of the contents to rebuild, but it was declared that you should have fifteen percent of everything taken as a reward. All of these different assets have been sitting in various vaults waiting for your claim."

"Ok, how do I claim them?"

She smiled. "You just did."

"That's it?"

"It's magic Mr. Potter. Now, I would recommend you conglomerate all of your assets into one vault. It will save you in the long run."

"Do so."

She nodded. "I will have everything transferred into your current vault by the end of our meeting. Now, let us begin the process of your debit card. You need to think of a four digit number easy for you to remember."

Harry shrugged. "How about 1818."

She nodded, and showed him to sign various things. "I'll get this down to the Muggle affairs department and shall return with your card. Would you like anything else?"

"That takes care of muggle money. How can I have access to galleons when I'm away from London?"

"Well, you could withdraw a lot and store it, or a safer option would be a MoneyBag."

"A MoneyBag?"

"You've never heard of a MoneyBag?"

He shook his head.

"Ok. To make a long story short, you place your key in the compartment in the bag, speak inside how many galleons needed, and they will appear in the MoneyBag."

"That's it?"

"Well, they do cost a bit. You wouldn't believe the magic in these things. Likewise for the debit card. But looking at your assets, I don't see this to be a problem."

"How can I get regular updates on my assets here?"

"For a small fee, we can owl you a monthly statement. You will also be able to check at any ATM machine using your card. Although, frankly Mr. Potter, I wouldn't worry about running low anytime after your grandchildren pass away. Wait here, and I shall return with your MoneyBag and Debit Card. Do you want the monthly statements? We can also give you the monthly exchange rates from Galleons to all major muggle currency on that statement."

"I don't know if I will be accessible by owl for my trip."

She looked thoughtful for a minute, and declared, "well, we can just sent it through the MoneyBag then?"

Harry agreed, and the teller left Harry to his tea.

Twenty five minutes later a stunned Harry left his new Gringott's bank vault with a complementary wallet with his Debit Card and a MoneyBag.

_Great Merlin, how is that much gold in there? They must have expanded the vault walls or something. That went much better than anticipated, although that bit about honorary heirs was a little disturbing. And the ministry confiscating so much money – more proof I'm making the right decision to get out of here. Ok, next stop, I need to go to the travel store the teller mentioned. What was it called? Traveler's Paradise? She said it was almost at Knockturn Alley. Ah. There._

"Oh, good day. What can I do for you? My name's Craig."

"Well Craig, I want to do a lot of traveling."

"Muggle, Magical, or both?"

"Mostly muggle, but mayabe magical."

He nodded. "Got anywhere in mind?"

Harry pointed to the globe, "somewhere on there."

"Ah, going on a world tour then I assume?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Come in, sit down. Lets talk about what you'll need." Craig's eyes seemed to light up. Harry assumed it must have been due to the prospects of a big commission. "First off, you'll need this from Madame's Magical Movers – a world guidebook. You just say the country and principality and it gives you everything a witch or wizard needs to know. You'll also need the triple m atlas, which goes from world map all the way down to a building map in the push of a button."

"Ok. I also need some sort of suitcase."

"Oh of course! I was about to get to that." Harry thought he could hear the sound of a cash register come from the man's ears. "Right this way, let me show you what we have."

Craig the clerk showed Harry various suitcases, ranging from a standard muggle to a the most expensive one he had, which at this point peaked Harry's interest the most. It looked to be a standard muggle rolling suitcase, with a tap of the wand shrank to the size of a peanut and could easily be stored in his pocket. It could also expand out to the size of a door, and when expanded was a fully functioning seven layer trunk. It had beyond standard anti-theft devices, all of which would be activated upon purchase with a drop of blood, and would automatically return to the owner when if a simple charm was performed.

Harry was sold. "I'll take it."

Craig grinned. "I have a few more suggestions," what a surprise thought Harry, "you'll of course want the instant-translator potion. Now, I know it's pricey, but it is well worth it my friend."

"What's it do?"

"It will allow you to understand over 20,000 spoken languages and speak 10,000. Now, we can't do anything about writing at this point, although our potions master is working on a potion for that. Now, you will hear the native languages in their own tongue, but it will make sense to you. Likewise, you will know how to speak the language upon hearing it. It's recently been upgraded to understand and speak slang. Can't do anything about the accent though. It's still well worth it the price."

Harry nodded. Perfect.

"Perfect."

"Now we can also do travel plans and documents."

"Documents?"

"Oh yes! You need proper documents to travel muggle-style. We guarantee they will pass any inspection, or your purchase is refunded and we will pay for any oblivation costs."

"What will I need?"

"A driving permit, passport, birth certificate, immunization records, an Auto-Visa-"

"An auto-visa?"

"It's essential. Most muggle countries need a visa of some sort to enter. Our Auto-Visas can produce any needed visa in mere seconds."

"Ok. I'll take the lot."

Craig grinned again.

Harry left the store several thousand galleons poorer, although that was a rather relative term for the now rich Mr. Potter, with a horrible taste in his mouth from the potion (which was tested and worked perfectly.) Harry stumbled with Craig asked for his name – he was hoping to travel under the radar. But Craig immediately pounced with an offer to create a false identity for secretive travel for only 50 more galleons, which Harry gladly paid. Harry would be traveling as one James Black, of London, England. He opted not to have travel plans made for him – he was didn't want to lay down any plans yet, especially ones that could be tracked.

Harry's second to last stop was the bookstore. Although he was planning on living as a muggle, he didn't want to let his magic atrophy.

Harry started off with his least favorite area, the Potions aisle. Harry grabbed many books, the most notable being Most Potent Potions, Everyday Potions, Every Potion A Healer Needs, Antidotes and Poisons, Potions Mastery, and a massive tomb called simply Potion Theory_. _

Charms was next, where he stocked up dozens of books including, Charms for the Traveller, Charm Your Way Out Of A Sticky Situation, Household Charms, Everyday Charms, Charming Charms, and Every Charm That Might Just Show Up On Your Charms Mastery.

Transfiguration had some books Harry was really interested in, Becoming an Animagi, Metamorphism, Battle Transfiguration, Basic Conjuring, Advanced Conjuring, Really Advanced Conjuring, Too Advanced Conjuring, and Enough With Conjuring Already How About Producing A Pretty Present.

Defense. Harry was unsure about this particular category, but as he passed a few books grabbed his eye. Wild Animals and How to Stop Them and Tribal Groups especially caught his eye.

Airthmancy. Harry hadn't taken Airthmancy while at Hogwarts, but figured why not. He grabbed Airthmancy for Dummies, Airthmancy for Genuises, Useful Applications of Arithmancy, and Create Your Own Spell.

Harry grabbed a picture encyclopedia of runes and a book that was huge on various rune combinations on his was to the History section. He grabbed a few books here, History of Magic which was a 23 part series, Encyclopedia of Magic and Everything Else that took an entire bookshelf by itself (he didn't grab the whole shelf, just a tag that said he wanted it that was redeemable at the counter), a world history set and another row of books called Magical Theory and Philosophy.

Harry was practically on his way out before he remembered the journal. It took a little searching, but finally found a few journals in the back corner of the store. He ended up buying three, one labeled "Travel Journal," one labeled "Personal Journal" that was lined and one that wasn't.

After many more galleons spent and books shrunk and promptly stored in his new suitcase, he moved on to the Potions Store.

"Excuse me Miss?"

"Yes? What to do you need? Special on lacewing flies today!"

"I need a way to set up a potions lab."

She nodded. "Fresh out of school and need a lab, eh? Well, it's expensive, but with that MoneyBag I bet you can afford it. I've got one or two left in the back. It's called Lab-in-a-Box. Take the box, put it in whatever room you want your lab to be in, now keep in mind it will take the entire room, tap your wand on the box and hurry out of the room. That starts a one-minute countdown and the box explodes into either a standard or advanced lab, complete with every starter supply you could possibly need. Basic is 875 galleons, advance 1099 galleons."

Harry took the advanced, and promptly fled the store when he saw the sight of Molly Weasley make her way into the store.

The final, most bittersweet in his final stop in Diagon Alley was the owl post.

"Could you post these letters tomorrow instead of today?" Harry asked the clerk on duty.

"Of course. How many letters?"

"Nine."

"Then that'll be nine galleons for the delay post. They will go out tomorrow at midnight."

"Thanks," and with that Harry left Diagon Alley and walked into Muggle London.

Harry hailed a cab and his first stop was "H&M", a clothing store his cabbie told him about. Harry, frankly, had no clue what he was doing and it must have showed. A salesman came over and quickly introduced himself as Travis. "How can I help you sir?"

"As you can tell, my wardrobe is seriously outdated. I've recently come into an inheritance," he knew this would get Travis's attention, "and I want to purchase an entire new wardrobe."

"It would be my pleasure."

It took over an hour and multiple trips to the dressing room, but Harry walked out with more shopping bags than he could carry – literally (Travis has to help carry them out). Bags filled with every possible item of clothing, from winter clothes to summer clothes, lounge pants to suits, shoes to hats and even a pair of sunglasses and three bottles of cologne. Travis was quite a happy man and had a cab waiting for Harry. And Harry was secretly pleased – the debit card worked without any sort of problem.

"Where to mate?"

"Hm. An electronics store?"

"Care to drop off the bags first mate?"

"Oh, good point. Take me to the nearest decent lodging."

"Rightey-o chap."

Harry had the bellman take all of his bags up to his suite #415 at the Embassy Suites Hyde Park.

_  
You need to store all of those clothes in your suitcase, not to mention the books. Therefore, you need furniture. And you need it now. And I don't think you could walk into a furniture store and walk out with everything you need or have them deliver it to a bleeding hotel. Oh. Magical furniture. Right. Guess one more stop to Diagon Alley it is._

With that, Harry grabbed his suitcase, closed his eyes, and apparated into Diagon Alley and went into "Everything Homely" the main furniture store on the Alley.

Harry approached a clerk, "I pretty much need to set up house. New furniture for everything."

"You'll want the bag series then. On the right."

Harry turned and saw the sign "Bags." He shrugged and walked over and saw several rows of, well, bags. He started off with "bedroom-in-a-bag"s and chose the Asian style. He grabbed the matching "bathroom-in-a-bag", "study-in-a-bag", "kitchen-in-a-bag", and "lounge-in-a-bag."

After he paid the still bored shopkeep despite just selling more than he had all week, Harry apparated out of Diagon Alley and back to his hotel.

_  
Ok, how to these things work. Oh, they look similar to the potions lab. Ok. Open up the trunk. First level should be the basic stuff. Start from the bottom. Bottom level should be the bedroom. Click the button 7, just as the guy showed you, hop in the suitcase, hmm odd feeling almost like a portkey, and, wow, this is a really bare room. Ok, put the bedroom-in-a-bag in the middle, and tap it with the wand. Now, run up to level 6. Here put the, hmm, bathroom. Don't want to have to go too far if I have to sleep. Ok, put the bag, tap it with want, and run up to 5. Here, the study. Then level 4 the lounge. Level 3 the kitchen, and level 2 the potions lab._

Harry was out of breath by the time he exited the trunk, but after catching his breath and hopping back in his suitcase, he was more than pleased. The bags and the box worked perfectly, and if need be he had a perfectly set up emergency house, complete with furniture and decorations.

Harry muttered to himself, "ok, magic can be right useful sometimes," and started to put up all of his prior purchases.

About an hour later, Harry was ready to start part 2 of his shopping trip – muggle books, electronics, and lunch. Harry decided to start with lunch at the hotel restaurant, then hailed a cab to head to the nearest electronics store.

Harry was once again bewildered. He was happy the kitchen and bathroom came stocked with appliances, because he had no clue how he would have gotten all of those appliances back.

Harry wandered over to the computer section. He remembered Dudley's computer and always wanted one of his own. A salesperson wandered over, and Harry told him to, "show me the nicest one of these computers that you have."

The salesperson of course agreed, and asked Harry "Laptop or Desktop?"

"Eh?"

"Laptops are portable. Desktops aren't."

"Laptop it is."

"Right this way."

Harry grinned as he left the electronics superstore, thinking Dudley would have been envious. He left with a state of the art laptop, two extra batteries, all accessories and software you'd expect and then some, a wireless internet adaptor (whatever that is, Harry thought, but the guy said it was all the rage and brand new), a carrying case, a portable battery powered printer with two extra batteries, and a digital camera (brand new, the salesperson told Harry with a flourish). Harry was very pleased, snuck around to a street corner, and apparated back to the hotel with his purchases.

Harry plugged everything in to start charging, and while they were charging left to find a bookstore. Luckily, this he had seen earlier within walking distance to the hotel.

Harry wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he would occasionally pass a random book that caught his eye. He picked up some muggle history books and philosophy books to complement his magical ones, a few travel guides in case his MMM guide wouldn't work out, raided the CD section (he was pleased to see they would play on his laptop), and grabbed a few more odds and ends on his way out including a stockpile of fancy pens by the cash register. He'd rather never use a quill again.

He lugged his four bags, which were quite heavy mind you, back to the hotel where he would stay for the rest of the night, setting up and playing with his new electronic gadgets. He hadn't realized how late it was until he absentmindedly glanced at the clock on his computer, and vowed to call it quits for the day. Muttering to himself about becoming another Arthur Weasley, our fair hero went to bed for the night.

The next morning, Harry woke up and knew it was his finally day in England. He showered, changed, and packed everything else in either his suitcase (put to standard traveling mode size) or his wallet. He grabbed breakfast, checked out, hailed a cab, and before he could rethink his decisions, he told the cabbie "Heathrow Airport."


	2. Chapter 2 Hello Heathrow

Harry Potter and the Search

A/N: I've never been to Heathrow. Therefore, the layout of the airport, etc., is completely made up. The other airport, however, will be true to memory as I'm there 4 times a month. Keep in mind the year again, it's around 1998, so a lot of the flight security stuff was different. And hit me up with a review too if it's not too much trouble :-)

**Harry Potter and the Search**

**Chapter 2 – Hello Heathrow**

"Here you are mate. Help you with your bag?"

"No, I got it, thanks."

"Ticketing through those doors on the left. Good luck on your travels."

With that, the cab left Harry and sped off to his next client. Harry followed the signs to ticketing, it a complete daze. He ended up following a pair of gentlemen, discussing the news in rather loud voices.

"Did you hear the news about Heathrow?" asked the one wearing a hat.

"No? What happened?"

"It got bumped again down the list of world's busiest airports. Another yank airport leapfrogged Heathrow and is the world's busiest now."

"What? How?"

"Beats me. But they say the Atlanta airport's the busiest now."

"No. Think because of the Olympics a few years back?"

Hat shrugged. "Could be mate. Right shame though."

_The world's busiest airport sounds like a good place to get lost for a while. Where'd he say? Atlanta? Where in the bloody hell is Atlanta? Somewhere in America I suppose. Good enough for me._

Harry had to stop suddenly as the two gentlemen stopped to look at a big screen. Harry naturally looked at it too, and saw a monitor for "Departures." He quickly found "Atlanta" listed with something called Delta. He shrugged, and asked the gentlemen where he could find Delta. The hatman pointed off to the right, and Harry hurried off…just to wait in line behind a sign that said Delta for about twenty minutes.

When he finally go the counter Harry had long since been wondering if he made the right decision waiting to the last minute.

"How can I help you?"

"I want to go to Atlanta."

"Do you have ticket?"

"Not yet."

"Ok. The next flight is booked, but we have a flight leaving in about 3 hours."

Harry sighed. "Ok. I'll take one ticket."

"First class or coach?"

Harry blinked at her. "Uh, this is my first time flying…"

"Oh. Well, first class is more expensive, but more comfortable seats, complementary drinks, it's well worth it for an international flight."

He shrugged. "Ok, first class then."

"Aisle or Window?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you want to sit by the aisle, or by the window."

"The windows don't open, do they?"

The attendant looked at him pretty strangely. "Uh, no sir."

"Whew. Ok. I guess window then."

"One way or round trip?" Harry once again looked confused, and she didn't bother waiting for his confused reply. "Are you planning on returning to London at some point soon, or going to wait a bit and buy a return ticket in Atlanta? Round trips are cheaper."

"I don't know when I'll be returning quite yet."

"One way it is. How will you be paying?"

"Oh, card. Here you go."

"Ok. You have a passport, correct?"

"Oh, yes. It's in my suitcase. One bit."

Harry opened up his suitcase, happy he remembered to leave all of his documents on his accessible first layer, and fished out his passport.

"Here you are."

"Ok. I have to ask you a couple of questions. Did anyone ask you to take on a package for them?"

"Uh, no."

"Have you left your bag unattended?"

"No." _Why in the name of Merlin are they asking me these bloody questions?_

"Do you have any explosives on you?"

_Probably shouldn't talk about potions ingredients._ "No."

"Ok. Do you want to check that bag?"

"Pardon?"

She sighed. "It looks small enough to be carried onto the plane. Store it in the overhead compartment when you board. Here's your ticket and passport."

"Thanks. Now where do I go?"

"You board out of gate B18. Follow the signs to the gate. Once again, the flight takes off at 13:00, so you have about two and a half hours to kill in the airport. Next!"

Harry took that as a sign to leave. He only understood about half of what was going on, but he felt he was a quick learner. He walked over to a bench, sat down and looked at his ticket. He saw where his gate and time was, along with some flight number, which he didn't understand, and the arrival time.

_Wow. That's going to take long time. Maybe I should have thought about an International Portkey after all. Good think I picked up some muggle books to read on the plane. And that MMM guide can disguise itself as a muggle book if needed. I should read some about where I'm going at some point. Let me find where I'm supposed to go first._

Harry looked around to try and find where he was supposed to go. After much searching, he found a sign that said "to gates" and saw a huge crowd heading towards it. He shrugged, got up, and joined the masses. If Harry got lost, after all, he had a few hours to find his way.

The mass of people queued up behind some bizarre looking contraption. He saw people taking everything out of their clothes and put those items and their suitcase on something that looked like a conveyer belt. They walked through some contraption, and appeared to pick up their materials on the other side.

_Hmm. Oh bugger. I'm wearing my wand. I shouldn't take that off, should I? It would cause too many questions probably. But what are they doing on that conveyer belt. I don't want them doing anything to my belongings. Maybe I should shrink it and carry it through. But I would have to take it out of my pockets. Hmm. I should go out of line and think about this some more._

Harry left the queue and found the nearest loo, where he walked into a stall to hide.

_Ok. First, shrink it. Check. Pick it up. Now what should I do with it. Hey, I passed that guy wearing a tie. Maybe I should transfigure it into a tie, and wear it through. That might work. _

Harry hadn't exactly tried transfiguring something into a necktie before but he figured he could get the gist of it. He paused, took a deep breath and waved his want at his suitcase. Well, it wasn't exactly a fashionable tie, pink with purple polka dots, but it worked well enough. Harry gawked at the ugliness of it, but shrugged and quickly tied it into his half Windsor, hid his wand back in the supposedly undetectable harness he picked up a week ago, grabbed his ticket and passport again and went back to stand in line.

After another good twenty minutes, Harry followed the lead of the gentleman in front of him and gave his ticket and passport to the security officer, at least that's what Harry assumed he was, took his wallet out of his pocket and sent it down the conveyer belt. He approached the large piece of equipment, walked through, and heard a beeping sound.

"Sir. Did you empty your pockets?"

Harry blinked. "Yes sir."

"OK, please follow me."

Harry watched as the officer grabbed his wallet off the conveyer belt and motioned for Harry to follow him over to a different area. Harry, thinking this was getting a little insane, followed. The officer took out some black looking thing and started to wave it.

"What are you doing, if I may ask Mr. Officer?"

"Are you trying to hide something?"

"Uh, no sir, this is just my first time flying and I don't quite know what's going on."

"Hmm. I'm using this to detect any metal on you."

"Oh. I probably have metal on my belt. Sorry sir."

The officer nodded as he waved his black thing around Harry's belt. "Ok, you're free to go."

Harry thanked the officer, despite thinking that any muggle who ever decided to fly was just plain bonkers.

Harry followed even more signs and eventually found his gate number, after what seemed like he walked around a quidditch pitch a couple of times.

Harry glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing he forgot to buy a watch in his day of shopping. He still had two hours to kill.

_Well, I passed a couple of places to eat around here. And a couple of stores too. Maybe one has a watch in it._

Harry looked around the food court and found a pizza store. It had been so long since he had pizza, he went up and ordered two of the smallish looking pizzas and something he had only seen Dudley ever drink before – a Coca Cola. The pizza was good, but what really impressed him was the Coca Cola. So much better than the pumpkin juice he had been accustomed to. He went and bought another after finishing his pizza and began to walk around the various shops in his terminal. He found his watch store and, despite thinking it was a tad expensive, bought a very nice and elegant platinum watch. He contemplated silver, but memories of Remus started to choke him up and he quickly moved onto something else. After nothing else in the store interested him, he continued walking down the terminal when he realized he was still wearing his necktie.

Harry found another loo, undid his transfiguration on his necktie (after taking it off of course) and quickly opened the trunk to make sure nothing was damaged. Everything seemed to be in order, so he quickly closed it, changed it back to the rolling suitcase standard size (in order to fit in with most of the other travelers) and continued looking in various shops.

He went a little overboard in a chocolate store, buying a little bit of everything. He would need snacks on the way to America after all. He found a newsstand and bought a couple of magazines, a few more bottles of Coca Cola, and a few packs of gum.

Harry was on his way back to the gate with about thirty minutes left before he was supposed to board the plane when he heard a booming voice announce, "Would Harry Potter please report to the airport information booth located behind gate B1."

This immediately made Harry nervous. Why would anybody be looking for him?

_Be rational Harry. Maybe there's a problem with the flight or something. Maybe they need to change my flight._

But Harry had obviously forgotten one important fact: he was traveling by the name of James Black, not Harry Potter.

* * *

Harry found his way to gate B1, and immediately regretted it as a familiar big bushy brown haired witch made her way right over to him shaking a letter at him with a furious look on her face. The postman must have screwed up and mailed them last night, not tonight.

"Harry Potter you have two seconds to explain yourself."

"Excuse me Hermione? That letter should explain everything."

"This explains NOTHING!" After this yell, many people around them turned to face them. Hermione Granger blushed heavily, and dragged Harry off to a quiet corner and subtly cast a privacy charm.

"Why are you here? What?"

"Well I got this letter in the post and immediately contacted Ron and Ginny who got similar letters and we vowed to find you."

"How did you find me here?"

"Honestly? Dumb luck. Ron's checking portkey locations, and Ginny is searching train stations. I was the only one who had ever seen an airport. Can you imagine Ron trying to get past security? Now stop avoiding the conversation. You are coming back right now."

"No."

"WHAT?"

"No Hermione. I can't."

"And just why not? I deserve a better explanation than 'I can't stay.' That's a right load of rubbish, and you know it Harry James Potter."

Harry started to get angry right back at Hermione. "No, you listen Hermione Granger. I can't stay. Everywhere I turn I think of dead. Already today, just in the past five minutes, I was haunted by memories of Remus."

"It's natural Harry, and nothing to flee from."

"Are you saying I'm a coward?"

"Yes I am. You would rather leave then face your problems."

Harry had never come so close to hexing Hermione. "How DARE you say that to me? You have no idea what I've been through."

Hermione snorted. "I was there for most if it, mind you."

"You never died Hermione."

"What?"

"I died during the final battle. Well, kind of died. I don't quite understand all what happened, but I most certainly passed on at some point and was sent back by Dumbledore."

"Harry, you aren't making any sense. Come back with me to the Burrow and let's talk about this."

"No! What part of I have to get out of here don't you understand. Take yesterday for example, everyone I came across was talking and gossiping about The Great Harry Potter, whatever shall he do next?"

"You're their hero Harry."

"Maybe I don't want to be. I never applied for the role."

"People need to look up to something, if nothing than to take their minds off everything that's happened in the past year."

"So what about me? What do I do to take my mind off everything?"

Hermione thought about this one for a minute. Harry had finally scored a point.

"Well, then why can't we do this with you?"

"Do you know what I see when I look at you right now? I see a reminder of everything I've lost."

"What about everything you still have? Me, Ron, Ginny, who I must say I've never seen so devastated-"

"Don't you dare bring Ginny into this."

"Do you have any idea how scared we all are, and how crushed we were when we realized it wasn't a joke and you were really going through with it?"

"Why would I ever joke about something like this?"

"It's just not you Harry."

"I don't even know who Harry is anymore."

Hermione looked flabbergasted at this notion.

"What?"

"I haven't had a chance to ever discover who I am. My whole life I've been fighting a battle. First against the Durselys, then against Voldemort or gigantic snakes or incompetent teachers or ministry or death eaters or death or anything else! I've never had the chance to step back and spend time thinking about me, and discovering a life for myself. And you know as well as I do I can't do that here in Britain."

Hermione started to cry. "Well what about us?"

"What about me? Haven't I earned the right to be just a little selfish?"

"Harry. I don't know what to say. I'm half tempted to stun you right here and drag you back myself."

Harry glared. "I wouldn't. Hermione, I'm serious about this. And if you try to restrain me, aside from losing all friendship we have ever had, it would be temporary as you know you could not prevent me from escaping."

"Can't you at least let all of us say goodbye first?"

"No. I can't. I don't know how much more pain I can take Hermione."

Hermione started to hyperventilate at this point, realizing she was losing the battle. "Can we at least send letters? Or floo? Or visit? Where are you going anyhow?"

"No. No to all. I need a clean break and to stop living in the past right now."

Hermione started to cry openly. "But…but Harry, when will you be back?"

"I don't know."

Hermione started to sob now. "Va..vah…visit?"

"Again, I don't know. Goodbye Hermione. Thanks for being there these past years. I wish you the best luck in life." With this, Harry Potter turned his back on Hermione and marched back to his gate and saw Hermione collapse in tears out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

_Keep it together. Don't let her see you break down in tears as you walk away. It's all for the best. You know it's all for the best. Must murder the jerk at the post office for screwing up the order. That is what I didn't want to happen. Yes. I'm causing pain. I'm causing hurt. But it's nothing compared to what I've had to deal with. You can't lose yourself in others in order to make them happy. You have to be yourself, and you don't know what that is right now, so you need time to think about things and you can't do it here in Britain because of things just like that. I hope she drops it and just lets me be for a while. I need to be. I need to be let go and be free to discover who I am. I can't do that here. I have to go. I have to go. I have to go._

Harry was absorbed in his mantra that he nearly missed the announcement that his flight was finally boarding. He saw another queue form by his gate, and went to join the line. He was still just managing to keep it together as he approached the gate and gave the attendant his ticket. "Seat 3A."

Harry figured that would make sense once he got on the plane. He assumed it meant third row, but you never could be to sure. He stepped onto the plane and was greeted by another attendant with "Good morning"

"Uh, good morning. Seat 3A please."

"That will be the third row up, right side, next to the window. Would you care for a drink before take off?"

"What do you have?"

"We have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Tea, various juices, beer, wine, liquor-"

"I want something with Coke, but a little stronger."

The attendant grinned. "Rum and coke sound ok?"

Harry shrugged and replied, "sure."

"I'll have it right out to you. Please take your seat, and welcome to Delta airlines. My name is Michelle if you need anything."

"Er, thanks."

Harry saw other patrons taking their bags and putting them in the compartment above their heads, similar to the Hogwarts Express. He did the same, figuring if he needed anything later he could get it out of his bag. He was still carrying his the magazines he had bought before, before Hermione found him.

Harry sighed as he sat down in his seat.

_Why did they have to look for me? Why did I even bother going to that counter to see what they needed? I should have expected something like this. I let my guard down. Stupid Potter. Can't even run away correctly. _

"Here's your drink."

"Thanks Michelle."

"Excuse me miss, I'm in 3B."

"Would you care for anything to drink?"

"Give me a Bloody Mary."

"Yes Mamn."

"Could you help me with my bag," she asked Harry.

"Uh sure. Here." Harry helped the older woman lift he bag up to the overhead bin.

"Thanks. My name is Sarah."

"Ha-James here." Harry remembered at the last minute to use his new name.

"Heading to Atlanta?"

Harry sighed. "Good as anywhere I suppose. You?"

"Yes, it's my home. I'm looking forward to getting back. You're from England I suppose, with that accent?"

"I don't have the accent! If anyone here does, it's you."

She chuckled. "Lets just say we both have accents and be done with it."

Harry agreed, "Sounds fine. Are you originally from Atlanta?"

"Oh, I moved up to the big city ten years ago. I'm from a small, South Georgia town originally. Are you going for business or pleasure?"

Harry shrugged. "I just needed to away for a while."

"Say no more my friend. Ah, thank you sugar," she told the attendant as she brought Sarah her beverage, "Shall we toast to new beginnings?"

"Cheers," and they both took a sip. "I should warn you Sarah, I've never flown before."

"First time? Really?"

Harry nodded. "So if I'm not quite sure what to do, correct me please."

"Oh no problem at all James. First, you need to buckle that seat belt. Here, watch me."

"Why do we need them?"

"Well, they won't do good in a crash. Oh, dearie don't worry," she said as she saw Harry pale, "that almost never happens. It can get a tad bumpy when we take off and land."

Harry sighed. "Great."

"If you get sick, just grab the barf bag."

"Pardon?"

"The barf bag. It's in that seat pocket in front of you. The little bag."

"I'm not looking forward to this flight at all anymore."

"Just have some more to drink. What are you having?"

"Rum and coke. I haven't had a coke before today."

"Never? What did you grow up drinking? Tea?"

"And juice."

"Well bless your heart. You know, they have this coke museum in Atlanta."

"Why?"

"That's where coke is from! The headquarters is downtown. The museum is somewhere else downtown. I forget where exactly, but you should check it out while you're there."

"Sure, why not."

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Delta airlines flight #2321 direct from London Heathrow to Atlanta. We need you to please sit down and buckle your seatbelts before we can take off."

"Now James, don't get too nervous on the take off. I know it can be scary the first time, but really, you'll be fine."

Harry sighed. "If you say so. I have to say, I haven't been impressed with flying so far."

She let out a loud laugh. "Let me guess, security?"

"What was that about?"

"They had to make sure you weren't carrying any weapons, which is why they xray the bags and do the metal detectors."

Harry had no clue what she was talking about, but played along nonetheless. "Ah. That's why. Too keep us safe then."

"Well it won't stop someone determined to do harm, but the appearance of safety is sometimes all we need."

"That's an interesting idea."

"Thanks. So what do you do for a living?"

"Student. Just graduated from secondary. You?"

"Oh, I'm a fifth grade teacher."

"So what were you doing in London?"

"Oh I've been sightseeing the past week or so. I have to say, the whole town seemed to be in a festive mood."

With this, Harry's face dropped. He could imagine what people were in such a happy mood.

"Oh dear, what did I say?"

"Nothing, it's just-" Harry was saved by the intercom, as the plane began to depart the gate and roll backwards. The flight attendant came back through collecting trash, and then,

"Welcome to Delta airlines. Please turn your attention to the monitors, which will give you a brief safety demonstration."

Harry turned his head to catch the television screen on the back of the seat in front of him, and watched as a flight attendant led him through the different safety features on the plane. Needless to say, but the end of the video Harry was far from feeling like he was safe, on the contrary, he wondered if this was one of the most dangerous things he had done.

_At least no one is trying to actively kill me, although it might just happen nonetheless. This was a bad idea. I should have taken the international portkey or something. Or taken the train and gone into Europe and gone to France. France. Hermione. Fleur. Triwizard Tournament. Cedric. The first to die._

Harry's emotions, much to his horror, finally caught up with him and he began to cry softly.

"Are you all right James?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

"What happened?"

Harry sniffed loudly. "It's about why I'm leaving."

"Well, if you want to talk about, I'll listen."

Harry sighed. "Well Sarah, I had a lot of close friends and family die recently."

"Oh my dear I'm so sorry."

"And I just had to get out of England for a while."

"I understand completely James."

"How?"

"My close family were all killed in a terrible car accident on the way to visit me at college. After that, I had to get out of Florida, where the accident happened. I ended up studying abroad in Japan that next semester, so I could put some space between what just happened."

"Exactly! That's what I'm thinking of. Why can't she understand?"

"Why can't who understand sweetie?"

"My friend Hermione. She found me at the airport and started yelling at me, saying I was a coward and running away from my problems."

"Oh James, she was probably scared."

"Scared?"

"I assume if you two are friends, she lost many people close to her recently. She was probably scared to lose someone else."

"It's not like I'm dying or anything-"

"I know James. But she sees it as another person leaving, and if she could do anything to stop it, she would."

Harry sighed. "Now I feel guilty."

"Don't. Look, everybody needs to cope in their own way in their own time. It might be painful for her for now, but in the end it will be for the best. You have the right to focus little on yourself and cope."

"Part of me knows that, but part of me hates it."

"Oh, might want to hold on James, we're about to take off."

Harry gripped his seat's handles as the plane launched itself down the runway.


	3. Chapter 3 Hello ATL

Harry Potter and The Search

Chapter 3 – Welcome to the ATL

A/N: Whoops, disclaimer time – I own nothing. All the characters you recognize are those of JK. I just wanted to play with them a bit. I decided to pick up this story again with the June running of Camp NaNoWriMo. I had this part written ages ago, but never posted it. I've got a plot, sub plots and more. So here's chapter 3. Starting in June, I should be posting regular updates as I write it! So stay tuned…

"James, just remember to breathe."

"What?"

"Breathe. Just Breathe."

Harry took a big breath, on the prompting of his seatmate Sarah. Sarah was in her fifties, if Harry had to take a guess. He wasn't used to people calling him James, something he's going to have to get used to quickly on his travels. Harry took another breath, and it seemed to calm him more than he expected.

_It's not quite like riding a broom, because you know you're going fast and can feel the wind rushing by. This is different. I can see London going away, slowly becoming a tiny town. Are all of my problems really down in that tiny town, that tiny country? How can all of those problems, those memories, and those horrific experiences be contained in just that tiny space, and all it took was my flying god knows how many meters above the ground to see it. Is that hopeful or depressing? I can't tell yet._

"Wow."

"See James? Not that bad."

"Ow!"

"What?"

"My ears are killing me."

"Ah, that happens a lot when you fly. Has something to do with the air pressure. Here, have a piece of gum. I know it sounds odd, but it works."

Harry shrugged, and took the offered piece. He chewed a couple of times, and sure enough his ears started to pop a little and he felt better.

"Thanks Sarah."

"Don't mention it. So Harry, have any plans for when you land?"

"None at all. Just wander around and see the sights I suppose. I don't know if I'll stay in Atlanta or not."

"Well a warning – the summers can be brutal."

"How?"

"The heat and humidity darling. It will take some time to get used to."

"I saw a lot of snow Sarah. Time for something new."

A few minutes later, the flight attendant announced that it was safe to used approved electronic devices and it was safe to move about the cabin. Harry turned to Sarah, and asked the ever so eloquent "Eh?"

"You can use things like laptop computers, portable CD players, and electronic toys now."

"Oh! I have a laptop. I hadn't thought of that. If you'll pardon me, I need to get some things out of my suitcase."

"Of course. I need to use the powder room anyhow."

Both Sarah and Harry stood, Sarah making a beeline to the front of the plane and Harry grabbing his suitcase.

_Hmm, what do I need. Let me get the laptop out, no plugs so grab the spare batteries too. Let me get that MMM guide and start reading up on Atlanta. Maybe that intro to Arithmancy workbook too. Get some pens and a notebook too._

Harry's suitcase was a little big to work his way through to find everything he was looking for, and realized he needed to change the cover of that Airthmancy book or he was going to get a few odd stares. He figured he could next time he went to the loo he could take it and change the cover. For now he would put it in the back of the seat in front of him.

Harry sat back down as he saw Sarah approach, stored everything but the MMM guide, asked it to open up to Atlanta.

Sarah noticed as she sat down, and said, "Oh, got yourself an Atlanta travel guide? Well I'll let you read. I'll walk with you later."

Madame Magical Movers

Atlanta, Georgia, United States of America

Atlanta is the state capital of Georgia, one of the United States of America. It has recently hosted the muggle sporting event the Olympics, and is now on the world scene. The city itself has 314,562 muggles, but the metropolitan area including all suburbs has a muggle population of 4,252,121. There are an estimated 2,879 witches and wizards in the city of Atlanta, and 19,003 in the metropolitan area.

Georgia, like all other states of the United States, uses the American Dollar standard. By American Wizarding law, all magical shops use dollars instead of British galleons.

Atlanta is a moderately tropical climate, with very warm temperatures during summer and pleasant temperatures during winter. Snow is very rare. Expect it to be rainy without warning during the summer.

Atlanta is the major magical city of the American southeast. There is one secondary school, the Marietta Magical Magnet academy. There is also a magical section to mostly muggle Emory University that offer majors in potions, charms, and transfiguration. Atlanta also has a thriving magical section, complete with shops and resturants. For more info, please ask for "Magical Section."

Atlanta is also noted for its numerous Muggle shopping centers. A stop by Phipps Plaza and Lenox Square are musts for anyone traveling Muggle. There are also many tourist attractions, including the Atlanta Zoo, World of Coke, High Museum of Art, and many other museums. For more info, please ask for "Things to See."

Getting around can be difficult at times in Atlanta. Muggle traffic snarls the roads, so we advise you to stick to floo systems and apparation. There is a limited subway and bus system called MARTA. For more info, please ask for "Getting Around."

For more information on the different suburbs, including a complete list, please ask for "Suburbs."

For more information on lodging, please ask for "Lodging."

For more information of restaurants, please ask for "Food."

If you are in an emergency and need help, please ask for "Help."

Harry quietly asked the book for "Magical Section."

The book flipped a couple of pages without being touched by Harry, and a page labeled "Five Points Alleys" came to the front.

Five Points Alleys

Five Points Alleys is the major magical section of Atlanta, GA although other magical stores are located in the metropolitan area. The magical section is technically underground, underneath a portion of Atlanta known locally as "Little Five Points."

The following is a list of stores located within Five Points Alleys:

Malluck's Wizmart is by far the biggest store located in Five Points Alleys, and similar stores are in every magical section of the top 20 magical cities in America. Malluck's Wizmart has everything any witch or wizard would possibly need, from wands to potions supplies to clothes. However, many specialty stores exist as well.

Dragon and Phoenix is a bookstore and gift shop.

The Unicorn's Horn is a restaurant, bar, and has an attached dance club.

The Ark is a pet store, and has a wide selection of owls.

Disco Diva Dealers is a clothing boutique.

USM Post Office is the local outlet of the United States Magical Post Office.

Wizarding Yellow Pages publishes an annual list of all magical stores in the area along with a public floo listing.

Harry closed the guide, figuring he could read more as needed once he got there.

"Another drink sir?"

"Sure, another rum and coke. That was really good."

"Ok. Meals will be served in a few hours, but care for a snack until then?"

"Sure. What do you have?"

She presented him with the snack basket. He looked through and grabbed a bag of chocolate biscuits, well they were called cookies on the bag, and a bag of potato crisps, called chips on the bag. Harry made a note to start looking up on American versus British English.

As he was grabbing his snacks, she returned with his drink and a pair of headphones. "These are for the movies that will play. First up are actually a few episodes of The Simpsons, with a showing of the Titanic following."

"Thanks."

"Just ring if you need anything. Drink mamn?"

"Bloody Mary and keep 'em coming."

* * *

"Well that lunch was ok, but I've had better."

"First class meals are always better than coach."

"I hate to think what they had back there."

"So what'd you think of Titanic James?"

"Interesting. But you know how it's going to end before even seeing the movie."

"True. That's about the twentieth time I've seen it. Even the best movies get a little old after such a long time."

"The death scenes were a little too much for me to take right now frankly."

Sarah nodded sympathetically.

"I'm sorry to have heard about your recent go of it. It's never easy burying a loved one."

Harry shook his head. "I've been surrounded by death ever since I was born. Both of my parents were murdered when I was only one."

Sarah looked horrified, "Oh dear. I'm sorry for bringing this up."

"Maybe it would be good to talk about it some."

"Then I'm all ears. But lets get a few more drinks first."

Harry agreed, and beckoned the flight attendant over. "Can we go ahead and get a couple more drinks each."

"Well, we're not supposed to, but why not. Just don't go on a drunken rampage."

"I promise."

"So did you have to go to a foster home?"

"No, I was sent to live with my aunt, who hated me every day for being put on their doorstep."

"Why? She's blood after all."

"She never spoke to her sister – it started off as petty jealousy and snowballed from there. They hadn't spoken to each other in many years before Mum's death. And I was a reminder of all of her negative thoughts."

"Is that what you're escaping from?"

"Well, I was sent to a boarding school when I was eleven. Things did get better then for a while, but odd things kept happening to me and the stress was stifling. It felt like times I was fighting for survival. Last year I was on my own – I had to suddenly leave school but I had no way of getting back to my Aunt's, so I made my way through the countryside the hard way."

"Oh my. How horrible for you."

"It was one of the worst experiences of my life without a doubt. Absolutely terrible. And then…and then the deaths."

"What happened?"

"A madman and a group of terrorists made its way into my old school, and there was, well, pretty much a battle. A lot of friends were killed. I was able to make it back to school quickly, and helped defeat the madman."

"You mean, you…"

"He tried to kill me, but I got to him first. I didn't want to, but if I didn't he would have killed more."

"You poor soul. I didn't hear anything about that on the news."

"The police tried to keep it very quiet and out of the press."

"They must have been worried it would have caused panic."

Harry nodded. _Whatever story works. I probably told too much already._

"Your friends are all in heaven now James, smiling down at you and wishing you well. They're there with your parents and the rest of your family, sharing stories, having a grand ole time."

"I don't think I believe in heaven."

"I know there are difficult times in life, but that's what you rely on your faith for."

"Faith?"

"Are you religious James?"

"Not really. I wasn't brought up in a church."

"I can't imagine my life without it. I'm a Baptist by upbringing, and without my faith I never would have survived my parents dying. It must be so difficult for you to cope without it."

"Well, it's the only life I've ever known. And as for coping, that's why I'm on this plane heading away. I have to discover for myself how I'm going to cope."

"Well, take a look at a church while you're there. Maybe something will stick. I'll pray for you James."

"Uh, thanks."

_Well that turned out to be a rather awkward conversation. I'm just glad she didn't get all preachy. It looked like she was holding back, which is good. It would have been an awkward rest of the flight if she hadn't. She's gone back to reading her book. Now what should I do. They said after the movie that we had about two hours left before landing, thank goodness. Maybe I should look at that Airthmancy book. Why not. Nothing else to do._

Airthmancy for Dummies

Chapter 1 – Why even bother? An introduction.

Airthmancy is the study of magical numbers and magical mathematics, which in one form can lead to part of the spell creation process (which is why most people study this in the first place!) There are many other applications to Airthmancy as well, ranging from potions to divination.

One branch of Airthmancy, Numerology, deals with numbers and names. It takes the premise that the name of an object gives it power, and that numbers can be assigned to the letters to form patterns…

Harry kept reading the book, trying some of the basic end of chapter exercises which revolved around doing a numerology reading and memorizing the various meanings of the words. He didn't think he would ever dedicate his life to it, but it seemed like it could be an interesting hobby at least.

Before he knew it, but not a moment too late, the pilot came on announcing their descent into Atlanta and to return to their seats, buckle up, and turn off all electronics.

* * *

"Well, it was nice sitting next to you James."

"You too Sarah."

"So you've got the customs form, and I hope I've explained it well enough."

"Oh you have, well, I hope so. Thank you so much for your help."

"I hope you find what you are looking for."

"Thanks for all of your help."

"Don't mention it. How was your first time flying?"

"Well I don't plan on doing it again any time soon. Too big of a hassle."

She laughed. "Have fun in Atlanta."

"Goodbye. Nice meeting you."

* * *

After another miserable two hours waiting in line, Harry finally made it through customs.

_I should have apparated. I should have apparated. I should have apparated. That was just stupid Harry. I should have apparated my way through customs instead of just waiting, and waiting in line. I guess it could be better that I'm doing this the muggle way. Right? Now where in the bloody hell do I go? I guess follow the crowd? Ground transportation? Ok, sure, why not._

Harry followed the mass of people down an escalator and on a train platform. Now, trains were something Harry could handle. When the train arrived, he stepped on with about fifteen other people. He wasn't quite sure where to go, that is, until he found a map of the train stops and found one called "Ground transportation." Harry made his way to the back of the train and figured that would be as good of a place as any to start.

After a few more stops, Harry followed the mass of people off the train at "Baggage Claim and Ground Transportation." The people all seemed to head towards a massive escalator, so Harry hopped on as well. As the escalator rose, Harry realized he didn't really have any idea where to go. It was approaching dusk, and a clock above the escalator read "8:30pm" which Harry used to adjust his watch.

Harry decided he needed a hotel. When the escalator ride was over, Harry wondered around until he found a moderately quiet area, and pulled out the MMM guide and asked it for "Lodging."

"In need of a place to stay? There are hotels all over the map in Atlanta. Our suggestion is to stay in the midtown area, as it offers easy access to all areas of Atlanta. Once you discover what area you want, then chose from this handy map and we'll give you a listing of all decent hotels in the area."

Harry looked at the list for Midtown, and saw an Embassy Suites. Thinking back to the nice hotel room in London he stayed at, he figured it would be something familiar to him. Harry looked at the list of directions, and chose the one using the subway.

Harry wondered over to the subway station, called Marta for some odd reason, but quickly realized he had no money to purchase a token. Harry looked around for a bit, and soon found a sign labeled "ATM." He walked over, and with just a little minor difficulty mostly revolving around how much to withdraw, managed to take out about two hundred dollars. Harry noticed that the card has magically changed the name to "James Black." Harry shrugged, grinned, and put it back in his wallet. He made his was down to the train and hopped on one after waiting for only a couple of minutes.

* * *

An hour later, after managing to only get lost twice, Harry had found the hotel and checked in.

_Hmm, now what. I do want to check out that magical section, just to see what's there in case I need something. Although I don't plan on going there often. I need to figure out what to do with myself. Start immersing myself in muggle America. Start a life. I need to find a place to live at some point. I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life living in a hotel after all. Hmm. Ok. Magical section first. What's triple M say about the best way to get to Five Points Alleys? Hmm. Appration. Oh, they even have a map of where exactly to apparate. Nice._

Harry grabbed his wallet and after studying the guidebook, apparated into Five Points Alleys.

_Hmm. This place has nothing on Diagon alley, but it's nice in an overall smaller way. Geesh, that Wizmart really is big._

Harry looked around Five Points Alleys. It was hard to miss the Wizmart. The area seemed less busy than he thought it would be, but after all it was getting late in the day. A lot of people were coming and going out of The Unicorn's Horn, and he heard some faint rock music coming from that direction. He saw a couple of billboards that all had a picture of a wand with two chains attached to either end, and the chaine pulled the wand apart. Then the writing "Break the Chains! Break the Wand!" flashed on the board, before returning to the chains and wand. Harry shrugged, and made his way over to the Dragon and Phoenix bookstore.

There was a banner that said "Congrats Graduates of Marietta Magical Magnet! Find everything you need here for your future." Harry grinned and made his way over to one of the indicated bookshelves after grabbing a basket. He saw one section labeled "So you graduated high school, now what?" and grabbed a book off that shelf labeled "All you need to know to get into Emory." He flipped through the book, seeing there were options for purely magical study, purely muggle study, and a hybrid. He smiled, tossed it in the basket, and grabbed a couple more about finding housing by Emory and an in depth book about all of it's programs.

_Well, why not. I want to be as normal as I can. I might as well go to college. _

"It's about closing time sir. Can I help you find anything?"

Harry jumped a little at the voice. "I'm good. Thanks. Where do I pay?"

"Right this way."

Harry thought about it for a minute. He was caught off guard by the person's voice. It surprised him. He's been so used to having to keep his guard up at all times that he didn't know if he should be ashamed for being caught off guard, or pleased he was comfortable enough to let his guard down in the first place.

Harry paid for the books in cash, and decided to go back to the hotel. The time difference had really caught up with him. Picturing the hotel room, he apparated with a very soft crack.

* * *

Harry had a peaceful nights sleep for the first time, well, ever since he could recall. He went downstairs to the lobby to eat breakfast, and immediately went back into his room to read about Emory. He contemplated going outside, but after opening the curtains to see it raining, he decided to stay put.

He started with the book on getting into Emory. It started off with an introduction, going a little more in depth than his 3M guide. They had dozens of possible muggle majors and minors to chose from, but let people come in undecided if they wanted to. Harry had no idea what he was interested in, but knew he wanted to let himself explore the muggle side of life. You had to decide pretty early what you wanted to study on the magical side, either potions, charms, or transfiguration. They also had minors in arithmancy, runes, and herbology (which was strongly encouraged if you were going to major in potions.) Double muggle majors were more common then double magical majors, although each year about five or six decided to do the Muggle-Magical combo.

To get in, he would have to take some sort of test called the Magical Aptitude Test, the MATs. There were plenty of books and classes to prepare for the MATS, and Harry made a note to pick up a preparation book for it. They were offered on a quarterly basis, with the next test being conveniently a week away, the first day of June. After that, there was an optional interview and of course grades had to be sent from his secondary school.

At this, Harry frowned. He wasn't sure how he was going to be able to do that. He saw a note saying if he were home schooled, he would have to go through the optional interview to prove his worthiness. He flipped through his Emory guide book, and saw that they had informational sessions for magical students. He looked for the next date and saw that it was today. Harry glanced at his watch, and was annoyed to see he had fifteen minutes to get there.

Harry looked in his guidebook for an apparation map. He found a page that said apparation within Emory was forbidden, due to the magical-muggle mix. However, he could use floo powder, location, Emory University of Magic. Harry grabbed his wand and apparated back to Five Points Alleys, cursing the rain. While here, he ran into grab a MAT prep book, and then used the public floo inside the post office. He paid for some powder, threw it in the fire and shouted, "Emory University of Magic."


	4. Chapter 4 Hello Emory

Harry Potter and the Search by LeTimbo

A/N: All the characters you recognize belong to the JK. Also - I didn't go to Emory, Tech grad here, so I'll be making up quite a bit about the place. I have the tendency to have a slloooooowwww moving plot in what I write. I'll try to speed things up, but sometimes I can get stuck describing everything that happens in one day. Fair warning. My writing style changed some since the first three chapters were written (a couple of years ago.) I'll be trying my darndest to stick to a 3rd person POV unlike prior chapters. Here we go!

**Chapter 4 – Welcome to Emory**

Harry stumbled out at the fireplace, graceful as ever, and saw a sign pointing down the hall reading "All About Emory." Glancing at his watch, he quickly walked over to the room and noticed that there were about a dozen people there. It looked to be three families, and him. He made his way to the back, just as someone wearing an Emory shirt walked in. She looked to be in her fifties, wearing glasses with black hair just beginning to go grey close to the roots.

"Welcome to All About Emory, an introduction for prospective students. My name is Dr. Naomi Lewis, and I'm the Dean of the Transfiguration department here at the College of Magical Studies at Emory University. Would all of the prospective students please raise their hands?" Including Harry, there were five of them. It looked like a set of twins from one family, and one kid in each of the other families.

"Excellent. Can everyone go around and say their name, and where they're from?"

Harry blanched. He had no idea of the war in Britain made news over here, but how could it have not, with the Ministry's policies?

Harry cursed under his breath when he noticed everyone looking at him. "Uh, my name's James Black, and I was born in Britain," and seeing the looks of horror and pity on a lot of peoples faces, he quickly added, "but we moved away when I was young. I went to school in Australia."

"Ah. Well welcome to Atlanta then. Well, let's get started talking a little about Emory before we move into academics. I'm sure many of you are trying to decide between a couple of different colleges right now. I remember when I graduated from my magical high school all of the different choices - no less than twenty universities have a magical college in them.

"So what sets Emory apart? For starters, the location. We're the only Magical University not only in town, but in the entire southeast. A vast majority of the fellow Magical Universities is either in New England or on the West Coast. We happen to reside in one of the top ten magical cities in the nation, and one of the largest muggle cities in the nation. There's plenty to do and plenty of opportunities here in Atlanta, and I'm proud to call it my home.

"Two things set us apart academically. For starters, we are one of the very few universities that allow students to major in both magical and muggle topics. Most magical universities are stand-alone institutions, not attached to a muggle university. Emory University was actually started by a muggleborn wizard who longed to bring together muggle and magical worlds under one roof. Although instruction would be completely separate and muggle students would never learn of magic, he felt that wizards should be exposed to muggles in all aspects of life. We are quite proud to continue that tradition.

"As such, our university has the top rated Potions program in the nation with the dual Potions/Chemistry major. Every single graduate of Emory's Potions program attains their mastery well before graduation, and it's been years since one of our students didn't have an immediate job offer upon graduation.

"Often overlooked our are stellar Charms and Transfiguration programs, also ranked highly. No academic program of the College of Magic is ranked below fifth place in the latest rankings by the Magical Times. We take academics seriously at Emory, but we find that students love our atmosphere, and often love Atlanta so much they stay upon graduation.

"Now a question for you. How many of you have taken your MATs?"

The other students' hands all rose except Harry's. "Need to get right on that James. The test next week is the last possible test for entrance in the upcoming academic year. Have any applied to Emory already?"

Again every student except Harry's hands rose. "That's wonderful!" Harry began to blush slightly and began to have second thoughts about being there. Maybe he should have just stayed home. "As most of you know, you must apply directly to the College of Magic. If you wish to double major in a muggle program, you should fill out the supplement application as well. Now, you don't have to decide your major right away. You can come in undecided, although we do expect you to have your major figured out by the end of your first year. You'll take intro classes for each major you might be interested in and each minor you might be interested during your in first year if you come in undecided, along with any muggle classes that interest you.

"With that introduction out of the way, we have some tables set up around the room. A representative from each program, both Magical Major and Magical Minor, have a booth along with Campus Life, the joint Magical-Muggle program, and Admissions. I encourage you to wander around and learn more about what Emory has to offer!"

Some scattered applause erupted, mostly from the parents, and the families stood up and began to make their way to the tables.

"Mr. Black. Do you have any specific questions? Especially about international students?"

"That I do."

Dr. Lewis smiled gently at Harry. "How about you come with me to my office and we can discuss things more."

"I was hoping to stop by some of those tables."

Dr. Lewis nodded. "How about we head to my office after you make your way around. When you're ready, come grab me from the Transfiguration Table, and I'd be happy to answer your questions."

"Thanks Dr. Lewis."

* * *

Harry wasn't quite sold on the idea of going to a Magical University. But since he was here and most blokes his age would be going to a University, he assumed, he might as well see what it was all about. Harry had no idea how he would be able to get in; he had never taken his NEWTs after all, and even if he had, would they count here? Harry had no idea, so his first stop was the admissions table. The man behind the table smiled and offered Harry an application.

"To apply, you'll need to have your secondary school send your grades to our admissions office by owl. And you'll have to take the MATs. There is no required scores on the MATs, but the average for incoming Freshmen is at least a 650 in each section."

Harry nodded, having no clue what that meant. He made a mental note to ask Dr. Lewis about those later. Feeling slightly overwhelmed, he took the folder overflowing with paper from the over eager man and quickly moved on. He'd have plenty of time to look it over later.

His next stop was the table for the joint Muggle-Magical Program. Something about this appealed to Harry. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to stay in the magical world or go into the muggle world. With that uncertainty hanging over his head, if he did decide to further his education, it would make sense to go both.

"Hello," the lady working at the booth said. "My name is Janice Waktins, and I'm the administrator for the joint Muggle-Magical program, one of Emory's specialties. A lot of students choose Emory because of this very program, particularly the joint Potions and Chemistry program." She paused, clearly waiting for Harry to say something.

"Erm. Not interested in majoring in potions." That much Harry knew. He had sworn off potions after Snape. At the mere thought of Snape, his emotions started to crack. Snape and his mum? No. He couldn't go down that line of thought anytime soon. No way he could survive in a potions program.

Something must have shown on his face, because Janice quickly moved on. "No bother, not for everyone."

"But I am interested in something else. I don't know what I'll be studying. However, studying something in both the magical realm and the muggle realm really sounds appealing."

She beamed. "Emory itself has dozens of majors to choose from. Here's a pamphlet listing all the possible majors. Once you've been accepted to Emory," at this Harry gave a mental start. He would have to be accepted? It wasn't just automatic? He'd have to ask Dr. Lewis about that, "you just let us know that you want to do the joint program and what Muggle major. And if you still aren't sure after reading that pamphlet, well, you can declare undecided in that as well!"

Harry nodded. "Good. I'll read through. Thank you madam."

She blinked. "Just call me Mrs. Watkins. Or Janice."

Harry nodded. He'd have to work on the slang some more.

His next stop was the Campus Life booth, where the young man staffing the table quickly introduced himself as Tad, a senior who worked for Campus Life. He really talked up Emory's social life.

"Uh, that's all good and well Tad, but what about where I would live?"

This had been concern slowly growing on Harry's mind. He would need a place to live. Although he could afford to live in a hotel for the rest of his life, he thought it would begin to look a little suspicious after awhile. And he wanted a place that he could cast ward after ward to make sure he was safe. And a place to leave things outside of his trunk.

"We have one dorm for magical students, which we recommend you stay in if you decide to live on campus. Truth be told, most magical students choose to live off campus in their own apartment or home."

"Oh? Could you tell me more about that?"

"Sure. Here's a folder for you!"

"Erm, thanks," said Harry, adding it to his growing collection of paperwork.

"There are some rules from the Wizarding Senate that you have to follow if you want to have an apartment or home of your own. Trust me, it's easier to have a house. Most wizards can afford it, and if not, there are government run loan programs if you're still in school. There are a couple of recommended suburbs in Atlanta to live in, but you don't have to live in one if you follow all the guidelines. The whole process is a lot easier if you have a magical realtor help you out if you pick a house or an apartment. There's contact info in that folder for you as well."

Harry smiled. Even if he didn't decide to enroll, he knew that folder would come in particularly useful over the next couple of weeks to go along with the books he had bought yesterday about finding housing by Emory. Harry thanked the man who looked like he wanted to talk more about the social scene, and headed out, but not before Tad gave him another folder with information about Emory's various student organizations and teams. They even had a collegiate quodpot and quidditch team, which Harry figured he wouldn't join. His flying might very well give him away.

Next, Harry visited each of the majors and minors represented, saving Transfiguration for last. He wasn't sure if he would major in charms or transfiguration, but knew Potions was not even a possibility. He was still pretty intrigued by the idea of Arithmancy, and spent more time at that booth than the rest. He walked away feeling pretty confident he would choose it as a minor, no matter what his major was. The man at the booth swore Arithmancy would compliment whatever major he chose. He finally ended at the transfiguration booth with Dr. Lewis smiling widely at him.

"Hope you found some useful information!"

Harry nodded, thinking to the housing folder. "And more questions."

She nodded. "Lets step into my office. It's close by in the Transfiguration building.

* * *

"All of these buildings are of course hidden from the muggle population. However, the architecture is standard across the campus."

Harry didn't quite know how to reply to that useless bit of trivia. "Lots of trees too."

"Absolutely! This entire area has a lot of trees. If that's your cup of tea, you should check out our extensive herbology greenhouse complex. It's where most of our potions ingredients come from after all, and it's the envy of the southeast."

Harry shivered. "Well, won't need to worry about that."

"Oh? Charms or transfiguration?"

"Undecided."

She nodded. "And here we have the Transfiguration building." It looked remarkably like every other building he had seen. "Come on in. You can get a tour at orientation young man! Follow me to my office."

Harry nodded, too wrapped up in what questions he wanted to ask to pay attention, and he was really worried about how he was going to get around whom he really was. He hardly knew this woman; there was no way he could tell her who he really was. She might tell the press, and sooner than he could blink he'd be getting dragged back to Britain to deal with….all the blood.

Harry shivered, and Dr. Lewis raised her eyebrow slightly. Harry shook his head, and before Harry knew it she was closing the door.

"So James, I noticed you came without your family." Harry flinched so hard he almost fell off the chair. "Oh, I'm sorry. But that's pretty abnormal for a college visit. We encourage parents to come so they can be certain this is the college for their son or daughter."

Harry shook his head.

"No parents?"

Harry shook his head again.

"Are you really from Australia?"

Harry started to panic. This was going so wrong. Why was he so foolish as to come to this? He couldn't live in the magical world. He would always be so paranoid.

"Are you all right? You look like you're about to, well, I can call our Healer to drop by."

"NO!" Dr. Lewis looked a little taken aback. Suddenly, a thought popped into his head. "Dr. Lewis, I need you to swear an unbreakable vow."

"Whatever for?"

"I need your vow that you won't share the contents of this discussion with any living being."

"Young man, if you're a criminal looking to enroll in our school…"

Harry snorted. Memories of that terrible lie about St. Brutus popped into his mind. He shook his head. "I swear on my wand that I am not a criminal."

She nodded. "This is pretty unusual. But I will swear the vow." After she did, it didn't get any easier for Harry to talk about it.

"So, shall we start at the beginning? You're clearly from Britain. Did you support their so called Dark Lord?"

"Quite the contrary. My real name is Harry Potter."

She blinked. And blinked again. "I really ought to have figured that out before now. Enough signs are there, and even though it's not often, you have been in the Magical Times and I really ought to have recognized you." Harry paled. "You really do need some kind of disguise you know."

"Yah. I know."

"Well, for starters, get yourself some color contacts, dye your hair brown, and wear a lot of hats to cover that scar of yours I can see peaking through what I suppose is makeup. You're in college, most male students wear them anyways."

Harry nodded, and vowed to follow her advice the next day. If he were even in the same city then.

"So. I can assume that you don't have any graduation scores, I believe they're called NEWTs over there, correct?"

"Correct Dr. Lewis"

"Oh goodness. You can call me Naomi for this conversation I think. Now. Even though most colleges would ask you take the American equivalent, we can waive the requirement here at Emory with sufficient MATs scores. It's a policy that's been in place since Grindelwald went mad over there. I'm imagining that you're quite worried about security."

"That alongside keeping my anonymity."

"May I ask why you're over here and not in Britain?"

"I just. I just couldn't take it."

"Say no more, and I apologize for the question. If you apply and are accepted, we will work with you to maintain both your security and anonymity. We've had other high profile students in the past, and those measures could stand a good upgrade. If you do enroll at Emory I'll personally see that wherever you stay has the latest security and privacy wards. Might I ask where you're staying right now?"

"Hotel hopping. I'm not even sure if I'll stay in Atlanta."

"Atlanta is a wonderful city to get lost in, but is low profile enough that anyone seeking you out from Britain is unlikely to try on first glance. They would go either to Boston or San Francisco, the two major wizarding cities in the US. Atlanta might be one of the best places you could have chosen actually. Now, from what I understand, your life has been anything but ordinary, correct?"

Harry snorted at the understatement. "To say the least."

She nodded. "Then I would encourage you to actually apply for college, whether here or elsewhere. This is quite the normal thing to do in America, although less common overseas. If blending in is your goal, you ought to be in college or age yourself by about ten years and tell everyone you graduated. But I think this sort of environment would be good for you Mr. Potter. Mr. Black. What would you prefer I call you?"

"James. James Black. I want to forget the name Harry Potter, and want to avoid any possible slip ups."

"Of course James. Now, if you do want to attend Emory, take those MATs and cram like there's no tomorrow for them over the upcoming week."

Harry nodded. "Even if I decide against going to college this year-"

"-Those scores are good for five years, never fret. Now, what questions specifically about Emory can I answer for you?"

Harry and Naomi talked for another half hour and by the end Harry was feeling pretty comfortable with the idea of going to college. After what Naomi told him at the beginning of their conversation, Harry hoped that college would be Emory, even though he had no idea what he would study. She was initially surprised he wanted nothing to do with a college that offered a major in Defense, but after hearing more about his personal story of what he went through in the past year alone, she quickly understood. He really felt at ease talking with Naomi - Harry wasn't sure if it was the unbreakable vow or if she was just that nice of a person. With a lot on his mind, he took his multiple folders and pamphlets with him over to her private floo and eventually made his way back to his hotel. She had fully explained the application process. He was to use the name James Black and send the application directly to her. If his scores qualified, she would take care of the necessary paperwork and he would get his welcome packet one week after he sent in his application.

* * *

After consulting his MMM guide, Harry had a good idea of where to shop. He wanted to stick to being strictly muggle for this shopping experience, as those in the wizarding world would recognize him too easily. His first stop was an optometrist, Dr. Stowe. Color contacts were still somewhat new, and only a few optometrists in the area carried them. It took Harry calling several different stores from his hotel room to find one that carried colored contacts in the store.

Harry took a cab from his hotel to a part of town called Buckhead (Harry wondered if there was some kind of giant deer's head in the center of the shopping complex) to go to one of the indoor shopping malls called Lenox which had both an optometrist and a hair salon inside. His first stop was the optometrist, and about thirty minutes after leaving his hotel room, he was seated in the optometrist's chair.

Dr. Stowe finally explained to him what color contacts actually were. They took the place of glasses. Harry was quite glad to see his glasses go - not only did they just scream Harry Potter, he was simply tired of them. But Harry was unsure if he would ever get used to poking himself in the eye to wear them. He wondered if there would be a better way to get them on using magic.

Dr. Stowe was initially horrified Harry would want to cover up his bright green eyes. He told Harry that a lot of people came in wanting his eye color, not wanting to get rid of it. Harry smiled and replied, "It's time for a new look." Dr. Stowe nodded as if Harry had shared some piece of great wisdom and replied, "Completely understand. Have a color in mind?"

Harry shrugged. "How about blue?"

Dr. Stowe nodded. "A light, almost grey, blue would go great with your complexion. Lets make sure we get you fitted with the correct prescriptions. Now, lean forward, rest your chin on the strap, and close your left eye."

After Harry's uneventful eye exam, the best kind of eye exam, Harry was given his prescription for blue contacts and an assistant was showing Harry how to put the contacts in correctly. It took about fifteen minutes for Harry to get them in and he was sent on his way with boxes of contacts, bottles of something called saline solution, and all kinds of pamphlets on proper care. Harry was beginning to wonder if pamphlets were a distinctly American tradition.

Glasses free, Harry popped into the hair salon next. Time to get rid of his black hair. Hopefully he would find a way to make it permanent one day, but for now this would work well enough. After waiting half an hour for an open spot, Harry was taken to the back to meet with his stylist, Kevin.

Kevin looked at Harry's hair with a worried glance. "I know," replied Harry. "I've got terrible hair. Do whatever you want with it, but the only requirement I have is that we go from black hair to brown hair."

"Ok James. If you say so."

A couple hours and a few startled gasps later, Harry walked away with brown hair and more determined than ever to wear a hat as often as he could. When Kevin suggested he cut the shape of a lightning bolt in his hair to match his "wicked scar" on his forehead, Harry almost got up and left. He would need to research a way to make his hair color change permanent, because there was no way Harry was going back for another round with Kevin.

Harry went into a public bathroom to apparate back to his hotel room. He would need to get a car of his own eventually. Which meant leaning how to drive. But Harry figured it wouldn't be too bad - after all, he was a great flyer. Granted, he already has his license thanks to the paperwork he got in Britain, but it would be nice to actually use it. Maybe if he got a house close by Emory he could ride his bike a lot of places. He caught himself in the mirror as he walked by and hardly recognized himself. Grinning, he stepped in to an empty stall and popped back to his hotel room.

* * *

With his new look out of the way, it was time to study. Harry opened up his MAT prep book and immediately turned to the About page.

The Magical Aptitude Tests (MATs) consist of five standard sections, with four optional supplemental sections that some colleges require. The standard sections to the MATs are charms theory, defense theory, potions theory, and transfiguration theory, along with a basic skills section that covers math and reading ability. The four optional supplemental sections are arithmancy, creatures, herbology, and runes. Each test is an hour long and each section has anywhere from 40 to 80 questions, depending on the topic. Each supplemental section is half an hour long and consists of thirty questions. Each section has a score out of 800.

You must register six weeks before the testing date. If you do not, you can try to do same day registration, but there is no guarantee there will be a seat for you. Any late registrant caught intentionally inflicting harm to another student to insure a spot will be banned from the testing site.

Rules:

Absolutely no time turners

Any student caught using polyjuice potion will be arrested for Magical Fraud.

Only medical potions are allowed. (You will be tested.)

Only medical charms are allowed. (You will be tested.)

Any scrying or other divination practices will be banned for the duration of the test.

You must use a number 2 pencil.

The room is warded against most magic. There is no practical portion of the exam for this very reason. If you try to perform a spell without the permission of the test proctor, you will be expelled from the testing center.

More rules on pages 2-4.

After the test is completed, you can pick up a copy of your scores at the front table. Grading is automatic. If you don't wish to see them, that's entirely up to you.

Harry had exactly one week to study for his MATs, and figured he'd spend a day on each of the five core sections and one on the supplemental Airthmancy and Herbology sections. He was beginning to get more and more accustomed to the idea of going to University and knew he would be at a distinct disadvantage. There were MAT prep classes most American magical teenagers took and Harry simply did not have the time. Harry's strengths were practical applications, not theory, so he was at a double disadvantage.

Harry assumed he'd have no problem with the Defense section all things considered. But he would really need to hunker down and study. He saw in the study guide that there were individual guides for many of the sections, and they recommended he get those in the subjects he needed the most help with.

Suddenly wishing for a time turner, he took a Diagnostic Section that told him he needed to work most on Potions, Charms, and Arithmancy. He noted he got a perfect score in defense and surprisingly over a 700 in transfiguration on his diagnostic test and basic skills test, and a 650 on his Herbology supplemental section. Harry began to feel a little confident that he had a shot after all. He glanced at the clock - he still had time to pop into the bookstore and get those last minute cramming books for Potions, Charms, and Arithmancy.

* * *

One week and multiple headache potions later, Harry arrived to take his MATs. After registering for the on site tests, he had to wait for half an hour before he was told there was indeed a spot for him and to bring his identification and number 2 pencils with him to the testing room. On the way, they stopped to check Harry for any sort of spells or potions, but came back clean. When he finally arrived in the testing room, he saw that there were about twenty other people his age in the room, most looking nervous, all with multiple number 2 pencils. Harry glanced at his single pencil, shrugged, and made his way to an open seat.

"We can now begin. You have one hour to complete the first section. Bubble in your answers on the sheet in the designated section. Everyone's test is slightly different to help your eyes stay focused on their own paper. You can not move to the next section until I call time. Indeed, you physically will be unable to turn the final page of Section 1. If you have any questions, you probably should have asked before we began. Go."

Harry opened his book. Potions. Had to start with the potions theory. "Lacewing flies are components of which of the following potions." With a sigh, Harry picked up his pencil.

* * *

Six hours later, a very painful six hours later, Harry was waiting by the front table with about 15 of the other students. Two students didn't complete the test - they had complete melt downs in the middle of the test, with sobbing and one of them tried to spell the proctor to no avail, and one other student slept through over half the sections.

The test administrator began calling out names in alphabetical order. Luckily, Black, James was the second name called. He grabbed his score report and put it in the pocket of the blue jeans he was wearing. He didn't want to open them in front of everyone else - he heard one girl burst into tears behind him. He calmly walked towards the designated spot and apparted back to his hotel

Although Harry liked where he was staying, he was beginning to wish for a place of his own. He was tired of having to dodge the house cleaning staff and although he loved his trunk, he wouldn't mind keeping some things outside of it.

Harry sat down at the desk inside his hotel room and opened up his scores. Would they be enough to get in to Emory? The thought that his scores wouldn't be high enough caused him to worry, and that surprised him. He guessed that part of himself really did want to go to college that badly.

He opened up the score report.

* * *

Magical Aptitude Test Results for James Black

Scores are out of 800. Your scores have been transmitted directly to the universities you indicated on your registration information.

Charms Theory - 680

Defense Theory - 790

Potions Theory - 520

Transfiguration Theory – 750

Basic Skills - 730

Supplemental

Arithmancy - 600

Herbology - 670

* * *

He had hoped for a better Potions score, but knew it wasn't likely. He was extremely aggravated that he missed what looked to be one question on the Defense section. Harry was pleasantly surprised over all though, his Transfiguration score was a lot higher than he had expected, and so was his Arithmancy score. He hoped the scores would be high enough. Harry filled out the rest of his application, including two essays he wrote about his life in Britain, and sent the confidential application to Dr. Lewis. It would be a long week to wait, but Harry had some ideas to pass the time. Mainly, house hunting.


	5. Chapter 5 Hello Home

**Chapter 5 – Hello Home.**

A/N: I'll be responding to reviews in reviews. So if you got a question, leave it there! (Assuming it, uh, works like I want it to.) For those absolutely in love with the story so far, thanks, but things are gonna change once I finally get Harry set up in college (and I'm trying to hurry that along….) Thats when it'll start to take the more philosophical/spiritual bent. I do plan on having this story take place over 6 years at least setting and plot wise, but I'm torn on if I'll write each year, skip ahead, etc. I'll take care of that when it happens. JK owns all the stuff you recognize and probably some you don't.

—

"So, let me get this straight," continued Harry, "it's easiest to get a house previously owned by a witch or wizard because all the necessary modifications have already been made, but it can be done on a new house but is much more expensive."

"And takes more time too!" Harry rubbed his head. Talking with his new magical realtor was proving to be a challenge he hadn't been expecting. Jenny Starr spent the first fifteen minutes giving the most complicated reasons imaginable for why he should buy a magical house, when all she had to say it was easier and less expensive. Harry was in for a long day.

"Ok. So lets do that then." Harry quickly pulled the phone away from his ear. She had started shrieking with glee. When he couldn't hear her anymore, he put the phone back to his ear. "Are you free today?"

More shrieking.

"YES! Where are you staying? I can come pick you up say, 1:00pm? Gives me time to pull the listings of the already converted houses. Do you want a purely magical home, or a home that's suitable for muggle guests too?"

"One that's suitable for guests." Harry told her the address of the hotel and told her he would be waiting outside at 1:00. He quickly hung up before she could start shrieking again.

He still had about an hour before Jenny arrived to show him some houses. If he bought a house, he was pretty committed to living in Atlanta, unless he flooed everywhere he went. But the more he thought about what Naomi said about Atlanta, the more he realized she was right. If he had to, it would be easy to get lost in Atlanta. He had done it enough times by accident already. But everyone in Britain associated America Wizarding with Boston, and that's pretty much it. Even if he didn't get into Emory, just six days till he would find out, he could still live in the area and study. Or just sleep a lot. Either worked. He decided to make a list of what he wanted in a house. He grabbed the notepad and pen the housekeeping staff left in his room and began his list.

Kitchen - tired of eating out

Study

Great big bedroom with a great big bathroom

A guest bedroom.

No cubbards under the stairs.

Room outside for a garden.

Connected to floo but in a discreet place

Big room for couches and TV.

No ghosts, no elves, no creatures.

Harry nodded. It was a good start, although he knew a lot of those were pretty vague. He might have too many houses to choose from.

—

Before Harry knew it, it was time to meet his relator. He hoped Jenny would be a little less…loud…in person. Maybe she had trouble using a phone. Not every magical person in America had been exposed to them, he assumed. He was about to be proven wrong - she was just as loud in person. And she had a

"A what?"

"A cell phone! Honestly, where have you been? All the rage. Been out for a few years now. Think of it like a mobile floo where you can only talk."

Harry shook his head and held on as she weaved in and out of traffic. If she was like all drivers, Harry would take his time learning.

"Now, are you looking anywhere in particular?"

"Well, I hope to be going to Emory. So somewhere not too terribly far would be nice."

"Wonderful. There's at least a dozen within 5 miles of Emory."

"Great. Other than that, somewhere with a lawn? I'd like to have a garden."

"Magical garden?"

"I don't know."

"You know, there's a house that's just calling to me right now. I can feel it. It doesn't have a ghost, are you all right with that?"

"Please. No ghosts, nothing. I want to be the only thing in the house."

"Got it. We'll be there in a jiffy. This place is great, only been on the market for a couple of months. Three stories, 4 bedrooms, 3 baths. Uh, you said money would not be a problem, correct?"

"Correct. You can check with gringotts if you'd like."

"Ok. It's got a great big back yard with a Tia Greenhouse."

"A Tia Greenhouse?"

"Oh yes. It's a greenhouse strictly for magical plants. And it's got all kinds of charms on it to avoid any recognition at all. They see it as a treey area! Perfect for the hybrid house."

"Great."

"This house is set up to be mostly muggle, with the top floor for anything magical. Muggles see it as an attic, but witches and wizards see it for what it really is. It's got a fully functioning floo node, one of the latest models that you can choose to shut off if you need privacy. Top of the line. It's got plenty of wards on it, including all the necessary boundary wards between the bottom two muggle floors and the top magical floor to ensure all muggle appliances work without a problem. And-"

Harry started to tune her out at this point. He wasn't a picky shopper, and anything would beat camping outside like he did most of the year prior. She kept talking throughout the entire trip, and Harry was glad when they finally pulled up to the house so he could escape her voice for just a couple of minutes.

"This is a great neighborhood as well," Harry cursed his luck, "and it's all muggle. This is the only magical house in a 2 mile radius. It's about four miles from Emory, and seven miles to Five Points Alleys. Why don't I let you look around outside. I'll be inside."

Harry counted his blessings as he heard the front door close behind her. He took a moment to look at the outside of the house. It was made of stone, at least that's what it looked like to Harry. But it looked so calm and peaceful. He looked around and there was no neighbor across the street, just woods, and there was a house on either side of him. One looked similar, the other made of bricks. It looked like it had plenty of windows, and there was a nice covered porch out front.

The yard was nice. There was a raised circular island with plenty of plants in bloom. There were three quite tall trees as well, all pine from the looks of it. There was a long driveway and a garage attached with a stone walkway to the front door. Harry smiled. Maybe he found it on the first try.

He walked around the back, completely enclosed by a wooden fence. He wrestled with the gate, and after he finally got it open he saw a big backyard. The greenhouse that Jenny had mentioned took up about a third the backyard. There were raised beds that Harry thought would be perfect for gardening. There was a big patio, part of it enclosed with a wire mesh with a stone floor. Harry nodded. It looked great so far. He walked in smiling and was greeted by an ecstatic Jenny shrieking "I KNEW You would LOVE this place. Let me take you on a tour. This place has central air and heat, on all floors including the top magical floor!"

Jenny talked him through the rest of the tour, but Harry was beginning to get really good at tuning her out and take things in for himself. The bottom floor had a kitchen, a somewhat large kitchen, with all new stainless steel appliances and granite counter tops. Next to the kitchen was an open dining area and a smaller breakfast room that was surrounded by windows overlooking the back yard. There was a bathroom, nothing remarkable there, and a large living area that would make a good sitting, electronics room. There was a utility room with connections for a washer and dryer, which Harry thought he remembered how to use from years ago at the Dursleys, and an all purpose room that Jenny said would make a great office or library. The staircase to the second floor was part of the entrance hall by the front door.

The second floor had a large master bedroom and equally large master bathroom. There were two bedrooms and something called a half bedroom that was quite a bit smaller than the others. There was a second bathroom across the hall from the half bedroom, smaller than the master bathroom but larger than the one downstairs. The entire house was already wired for phone, and in several of the rooms cable and high speed internet access, still new but growing in popularity.

"Now we get to the magical part of the house," continued Jenny. "You no doubt notice the stair case goes right on up. Muggles, however, see it as a pull down ladder leading to an attic. Up we go!"

The staircase led to a grand room with a massive fireplace. Harry knew right away that it would constitute his magical library. There were two rooms on each of three different sides of the grand room. There was a bathroom and a bedroom on one side, on another side was an already outfitted a potions lab and storage room, and on the third side was an empty room and a room that Jenny said was for Owls or other magical pets.

"Well, what do you think James?"

Harry smiled. He didn't need to look any further. This would more than suit his needs and wants. "I think I've found the right house on the first try."

She beamed. "I knew this would be just perfect for you! It's a little on the expensive side, but you said that wouldn't be a problem?"

Harry nodded. He had been pondering this over for the past day, and thought he had a good reason why he would have so much money. "Both of my parents recently died," Harry paused to acknowledge her sympathies, "and left me an inheritance. I couldn't stand to go back to our old house, so I sold it and everything in it."

"Of course. All those memories. Are you going to want help decorating the house? I know some great magical and muggle interior decorators that can set up the place how you'd like."

"That'd be a great help actually."

"Wonderful. So you're going to buy the house?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful! Let's get back to my office, and we can take care of all the paperwork there. Since the owners of the house also used our realty firm, it won't be much trouble at all. Assuming everything clears, you should be able to have your decorators start work right away and be able to move in, oh, under a week solid week. Now, you're probably wondering about inspections and everything. All magical property is independently inspected by the government to make sure everything's sound and on the up and up. And a standard part of any housing sale is a binding magical contract that upholds everything written in the contract and the inspection report. We don't believe in any sort of deception when it comes to magical housing. Indeed, it's against the law in America. We want happy home owners! Now, lets get back outside and head to my office."

—

Three hours later, Harry had a set of keys in his hand. The house indeed cost a lot, at least it sounded like it, but considering it was well less than 1% of his actual money, Harry figured it was cheap enough. But when he told Jenny it seemed cheap, she paled slightly and stuttered for the first time, so he didn't bring it up again. He was due for a meeting back at the house with his now team of designers. One specializing in muggle, and Jenny promised it wasn't what wizards thought muggles would like but what muggles would actually like, and one specializing in magic.

Harry apparated directly into the house on the third magical floor. Among the many forms he had to sign was one that made him able to apparate directly into the house, but all visitors would need permission first. He also was signed up for the floo network, and although he was somewhat looking forward to picking the name, she said Americans of course didn't do that and stuck to names and locations only. So his new floo network name was James Black, Toco Hills. He asked what Toco Hills meant, and she replied it was the local name of the area he was now living in. Yes, he was still in the city of Atlanta, but that was the neighborhood.

The designers would meet him at the front door. He already had a couple of ideas of what to do. He looked around the top floor, and knew the main room he was in would be lined with bookcases. He would need a good desk and some soft chairs and loveseats around the room. He would keep the potions lab as in, and made a note to move his potions equipment from his trunk to his new lab and store room. The empty room he wanted to make into some kind of practice room. If accepted to Emory, he would inevitably have magical homework, and wanted a safe room to practice in. He wanted the bedroom to have a mountain theme, and carry that theme over to the bathroom. The pet room would stay as is - if he ever got a magical pet, he'd worry about that then.

He walked down to the second floor. He wanted his bedroom to have the same Asian style as the bedroom in his trunk, and he wanted a huge bathtub and shower all in the same Asian theme. Dark furniture with red walls. He wanted one of the other bedrooms furnished, but left the half bedroom and other bedroom for later.

He wanted to leave the kitchen as is, minus the addition of cook books and utensils and such. He would scope out cooking books on his next trip to a muggle bookstore. He wanted a nice light wooden table and chairs for the breakfast area - he wanted to keep it sunny. He didn't know what the dining room should look like, and for the main room he wanted a big TV, dark bookcases for his cds, a stereo, and more. With big stuffed leather couches. Harry grinned. He was starting to get pretty excited. He wanted that all purpose room to have bookshelves lining half the wall with some comfortable chairs, and the other half he would put a big desk with his laptop and make it into an office or study area.

The doorbell rang. Harry walked through the front hall and let in his two decorators. They quickly introduced themselves, and set their instruments down on the floor (which started moving by themselves and began to take measurements.) Harry quickly closed the door and began to show the two decorators around. They were mostly quiet, or perhaps Harry had grown accustomed to the loud chatty Jenny (Harry hoped that wasn't the case.) They agreed with his decisions, and Harry told them as long as they kept with the theme the details were up to them. The mostly muggle decorator Susan looked thrilled, and promised to get him top of the line electronics equipment. When they reached the second floor, they looked surprised he wanted to leave the big bedroom empty.

"Have you thought," asked Susan, "about making this into a home gym?"

"A what?"

"A gym! A place to work out with workout equipment. Keep you in shape!"

"Oh. That sounds like a good idea."

She beamed. "I've done a few other gyms. A piece of cake."

"Sounds fine, but I want to keep that small room empty for now. I'll figure out what to do with it later."

"Of course."

The mostly magical decorator Bill mostly agreed with Harry's ideas, and offered a lot of suggestions for the practice room that got Harry pretty excited. Harry made an absolute refusal of a magical target for target practice however. He had enough of real life practice to last a life time. Both decorators agreed to make the house their top priority and would have it finished by Saturday at noon. Harry nodded and gave them each a copy of a key.

—-

The next week was one of the slowest in Harry's life. He popped his trunk back to his new house and put his potions supplies up and started unloading his books as soon as the book cases had been installed. He looked at all the empty space on the shelves and grinned. He would need some help filling them. Harry visited a muggle bookstore and stocked up on all kinds of recipe and cooking books and left them on the small rack in the kitchen to be organized later.

The biggest highlight for Harry, however, was not buying cookbooks shockingly enough. It was learning how to drive.

On Tuesday, Harry sat in his hotel room, wondering about how he was going to get around. He needed to learn how to drive if he was going to live as a muggle for ordinary things like getting groceries or going to school. He supposed he could apparate, but he wanted to leave apparation for emergencies and live mostly as a muggle. He popped into Five Points Alleys and grabbed a copy of the Wizarding Yellow Pages. He noticed that James Black Toco Hills was already in the floo listing and smiled. Quick work.

He flipped through to the businesses section and found what he was looking for. A magical driving school. It had both a floo and a telephone address. He popped back into the hotel room, called them up, and had an appointment later that day. He mentioned he already had a foreign driving permit, but would need to actually learn how to drive. They said at the end of the course, he would get both a magical and muggle drivers license.

It was…quite a bit different from flying. Harry had remembered seeing his Aunt and Uncle drive, and knew a little about the process. After 12 hour days for three days, Harry finally had a good grasp of how to drive. He wasn't great at it yet and tended to go extremely slow (much to even his own surprise) but he could do it. And by the end of the day Friday, James Black was a newly registered driver in the state of Georgia. Atlanta traffic would never be the same.

Now he needed a car. No magical versions of those existed in the United States by Senate decree, although Harry couldn't imagine why. Harry asked the folks at the Magical Driving School what kind of car he should get, and conveniently enough they knew someone at a car shop just down the road. They drove him over to the car shop. Harry wasn't too interested in car shopping, he just wanted one that would work well. The salesman tried talking Harry into buying something called a Sports Utility Vehicle, but when Harry saw the size he had no idea how he'd ever park the thing. He ended up getting a car called a Camry, and it had been previously owned. Harry figured it would be good to have a cheaper car for his first car, and didn't want a car that looked like he had a lot of money. If he wanted to blend in, he didn't want a car that would make him stand out.

It took Harry over two hours to drive his car back to his house. It didn't help the sheer number of times he got lost - he vowed to buy a map or twenty - and all the other traffic on the roads made him nervous. But he finally pulled into his driveway and parked in the garage. After that experience, he figured he might use the floo a little more often than anticipated.

Harry popped back into his hotel room for the final time. This would be his final night in the hotel room. It had been a whirlwind few weeks, but Harry felt right about what he was going. Saturday would be a big day - he would check out, get the keys back from the designers, find out from Emory, and spend the first night in his new home. Harry was worried he'd have trouble sleeping, but his harrowing experience on the Atlanta roads made him fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

—

Harry woke up with a start. It was an ordinary nightmare. Or so he thought. All he remembered was sitting in his car, cars all around him, no one moving.

Then Harry remembered that had been his yesterday and not a nightmare. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs, and changed into one of few remaining clean sets of clothes. He would need to figure out that washer and dryer soon. He searched his room for anything he might have left, found a book underneath the bed, and packed up his trunk. He took one last look at his hotel room - it had been his home for the past few weeks, and Harry would long remember it for all the healing that had started while in this room. When he arrived, he had no idea what to do and where to go other than "Not Britain." And now he had his very own home, and the possibility of a future. Well, a future for the next few years at least. Harry turned off the lights and headed down to pay his bill.

Which turned out to be a little more than Harry expected, but he had spend three weeks at a very nice hotel after all. What was he to expect? He headed outside and plopped down at a diner close by for some breakfast. He had become a regular of the past few weeks, and would be sure to come back every now and then. Although not daily. He ordered a waffle, the entire diner was named for them after all, and contemplated his day over his waffle and hashbrowns.

Harry contemplated taking a cab to his new house, but was wary of traffic. He paid for his meal, headed to the bathroom, and apparated to his house. He glanced at his watch when he arrived - just a few minutes early. But they clearly had finished, at least the magical area. It was exactly like he had pictured. He was home.

—-

Harry collected the keys from the designers, complimenting them on a job well done. He didn't know how he would have managed without them. They smiled and wished him luck in his new home. Harry spent the next hour just wandering around his new home, looking at the little details. He would change a few things, but the base they had created for him would stay for a long time. It was his home. HIS HOME. Harry got a little teary eyed every time he thought those words. This was his. Not his terrible relatives, not Hogwarts, not Grimmauld Place, it was his.

He opened up his trunk and began to unpack what was left. Some things he left inside - he was still nervous that he might have to escape at a moment's notice, so left some clothes in the trunk and a supply of money. But everything else he had purchased in Britain was now around his house in their appropriate places. HIs new wardrobe and closet in his master bedroom were mostly full. Harry put his robes and other magical clothing in the third floor bedroom. He wanted to keep the bottom two floors completely empty of anything magical other than himself. He put everything else on the third floor, including his wand.

He grabbed a note pad and a pen from his desk and made a list of what he needed to buy for the house. He needed groceries first and foremost, and things to wash his clothes with. He knew there was a grocery nearby, two from what he remembered the day prior when he was driving around lost. One that specialized in more healthy food, and one that specialized in all kinds of food. That would be his first step.

Harry headed out to his garage and slowly made his way to his first grocery store in America, a place called Publix. He grabbed a metal cart on his way in and was immediately overwhelmed. It was huge. Quite huge. But the aisles were well labelled. He made his way slowly up and down the store, seeing all kinds of food he had never heard of but looked good. Before Harry knew it, he had an entirely full cart and had only been through two thirds of the store. He probably wouldn't need to get this much every time, but since he had no ingredients at all, he had to stock up. He made his way back up front following the other people with carts, paid and loaded his bags into his trunk in no time flat. He contemplated going to the other grocery store, but realized he had some things that should be put away quickly.

He stopped by home and unloaded the groceries, spending a solid hour putting all the groceries away. He changed his mind twice about what should go where, but happy with the end result. He still needed some more things from the grocery, although he had found the cleaning aisle and stocked up while there, so he headed to the other grocery store in the opposite direction. He got a little lost on the way, but soon enough found his way to a place called Whole Foods, which had even stranger things than the first store. Harry found enough that looked good, however, and bought a lot of produce. Enough waffles, time to eat a little healthier.

When Harry arrived back at his house, he heard a small chime coming from the third floor. Confused, he climbed the stairs and checked out each of the rooms.

He saw an owl in the animal room.

Harry started to breathe quickly. Had he already been found out by his former friends in Britain? How would they have found him in America of all places? He had asked that only owls addressed to James Black be allowed through, but who would be sending him an owl other than someone in Britain?

The owl hooted softly and with a glare stuck out its leg. Who knows how long it had been waiting for him. He took the rather large package, and the owl flew abruptly through the window. Harry was momentarily dumbfounded before he remembered the magical decorator has installed a window that owls could fly through to deliver messages.

Sure enough, the letter was addressed to James Black. He opened the packet and got even more nervous. It was from Emory.

Harry got in. And there was a note attached to call Dr. Lewis when he received the message, so she could explain what all the other paperwork was.


	6. Chapter 6 Welcome to Emory

**Chapter 6 - Orientation**

A/N: This is like the chapter that would never end. I know I didnt describe all the buildings in detail at the College of Magic, but we'll get to them spread throughout the story instead of all at once. This story keeps exploding beyond my outline. No, this is not going to be a Harry slash story, although I like them. This is going to be, as far as I've planned it, a Harry-not-in-a-couple-at-all story, but there will be both gay and straight relationships mentioned. And I waaaaay shortened what I had planned for Muggle orientation because…it would have been dull not only to write but to read. Here we go! Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Nothing. NOTHING!

"Dr. Lewis?"

"Yes. Is this James? I told you to call me Naomi."

"Yes, sorry. I got your packet."

"Wonderful! I had to owl it to you because, well, couldn't think of another way."

"Ah. Since I've applied, I've bought a house." Harry told her the address, phone number and floo address.

"Great! So. Let me walk you through all that paperwork in your packet. We had to get you registered for the Muggle side as well, and that involved creating some more paperwork for you. There's an American birth certificate in there and a Social Security card - you'll need both if you're living in the Muggle world. Did you get a driver's license yet?"

"I did."

"Great. Give me the number and I'll make sure it's linked to your new social security number."

"Ok." Harry rattled off the number and Naomi continued.

"You won't need the housing forms I sent then if you got a house. Probably not the meal info either. You can just throw those away. Now, just to confirm, you're undecided on your muggle and magical major, but now you want to minor in Arithmancy. Correct?"

"Correct. No Potions though."

"I remembered that one. So, I'm going to talk you through some of your class options with what I'd recommend. You're going to be auto enrolled in Intro to Transfiguration and Intro to Charms, so you can see which of the two you'd prefer. You'll also be enrolled in Intro to Arithmancy. Once you choose your magical major, you'll have two classes in that each semester and one in your minor each semester. If you choose to double major or double minor, double those classes accordingly. As for muggle, Emory University does maintain ties to the Methodist tradition, as such you'll be enrolled in a mandatory Intro to Religions Course. No matter what your major ends up being, you'll need some core classes like this. I recommend you go ahead and take an English course and get your writing course out of the way. If you need any math credits, we'll see about getting your Arithmancy credits to count as transfer credits.

"I realize this is a lot. Let's recap real quick. For your magical program, your first semester will be Intro to Charms, Intro to Transfiguration, and Intro to Arithmancy. That's it. For your muggle program, you will be enrolled in Intro to Religion, English 1, and one or two more classes of your choosing. Go through the muggle course book, thats the biggest book in the packet I sent you, to find what other classes you're interested in. Everything I just told you is written down on one of the sheets of paper in your packet. Any questions? We'll be going over more about this during your orientation session."

"Orientation?"

"Oh yes. Orientation to Emory! The fist day of classes is August 1st but we have orientations every weekend in July." Harry looked at his calendar - it was mid June.

"What are the benefits of getting orientation done early?"

"Well. You finalize your course schedule at orientation. Once you know your courses, you can go ahead and get your books and such. You could probably already get some basic school supplies."

"Ok. I'll take the first weekend then."

"Wonderful. Now, since you are undecided, you're going to be assigned an advisor from one of the departments but-"

"Oh. Can it be you?" interrupted Harry.

Naomi laughed. "Of course. I was going to suggest that anyways since I know your special circumstances. I'll make a note you've registered for the first orientation session. Now, the other couple pages in your packet are about finances. University isn't cheap I'm afraid, but I'm happy to tell you that your MAT scores qualified you for an academic scholarship!"

"They did?" Harry hadn't imagined his scores were that good.

"They were high enough to qualify for the automatic scholarship from the American Wizarding Senate. All tuition and fees are covered. You'll only need to buy your books and housing, but you took care of the latter already."

"Great!"

"You maintain the scholarship by maintaining at least a 3.0 GPA. I bet you don't know what that means. You need to average at least a B in each subject. That's something similar to….the British Exceeds Expectations I believe."

Harry nodded. It'd be tough work, but wanted to do well. "Great."

"Ok. So, what you should focus on before your orientation - figure out what muggle courses you want to take and read through the details of the Charms and Transfiguration programs. I'd start to narrow down the list of possible Muggle majors as well. Some I'm sure you know you don't want already. Now, with that, I believe I promised to come by and help with the warding on your new home. I'm not going to be free for a couple weeks with the start of the school year."

"Oh, of course. Whenever you're free, just give me a call. If I'm here, it'll be no problem."

"Sounds like a plan!"

—-

Harry had three weeks before his orientation and had a few things he wanted to do before then. He wanted to get the outside of his house, particularly his backyard, set up. It was pretty hot, but maybe it wasn't too late to plant some things in the garden or the greenhouse. He wanted to explore his new neighborhood and learn where the closest shops were. And he needed to work through all the Emory paperwork and figure out his Muggle classes, maybe even Muggle Major, and go shopping for school supplies. He broke it up into weeks, and figured this first week he'd start off with getting the outside of his house set up because there was a time crunch.

Harry had no idea what sort of plants he should grow in the greenhouse, but knew he wanted a vegetable garden, so began with that. He would need gardening tools and seeds and such. Harry grabbed his wallet and keys and drove to a grocery store. He figured that close by one of them would be a store that sold that kind of thing.

It took him a while, but found a place called Home Depot. He wasn't sure why the entire building was orange but went with it. After a couple of hours, he had an entire trunk full of gardening tools, seeds, plants and more. Harry wasn't sure if they'd grow well, but he might be able to get a special fertilizer for them. He didn't want to use it often, but maybe a little magical help would help here. He'd get started next year early enough to not need it.

He unloaded his trunk and dropped everything off in the backyard. He wanted to finish all the shopping before putting it all away. He headed upstairs to his top floor and flooed to Five Point Alleys. He headed over to the Wizmart and started shopping.

He walked away with several books on setting up a magical greenhouse and what plants would be useful for him. He bought his first magical flowers to grow on his own. They were a type of sunflower that grew to be over a meter tall, and if he plucked one petal, the head of the flower would light up like a light bulb. Harry figured it would be good as some kind of reading light at night. But he was most excited about the two bottles of magical fertilizer he bought which promised totally safe muggle produce in a quarter of the time. And they would keep away common pests too.

He spent the next week organizing his backyard, planting a large but organized vegetable garden. It took him much more time than expected, but at the end of the week he looked with pride at his new garden. He had decided to plant regular sunflowers along the edge of the outdoor patio, along with big flowering bushes by the windows to the breakfast room. He was exhausted and quite sore; Harry made a commitment to start using his gym to get into shape.

The next week he spent learning his way around his new neighborhood. He tried local restaurants, got a better idea of where the different common shops were, even found a small bookstore hidden away in an otherwise nondescript building. He also spent a fair amount of time cooking - learning how to cook different dishes. He had been sticking with really basic things for most of the past week and a half, but was starting to master some more complicated dishes. He also began watching his TV, where they had an entire channel devoted to learning how to cook. He watched it often and made a lot of its recipes.

The last week before his orientation was spent figuring out his classes. Naomi had called and scheduled a time on Wednesday to come and check out the warding on his house. He wanted to make sure he had finished by then in case he had any questions to ask her, or if she had any questions to ask him. She asked permission to bring the Dean of Charms, a Dr. Peter Ashton. Naomi promised he wouldn't share with Peter why Harry needed the wards, and would only tell him that they had a new student worried about security (it was a common enough request with overbearing Magical parents.)

Harry began planning his class schedule, which was by far more complicated than Harry expected - at Hogwarts, they did all the planning for him. It took him two days and five headaches. He knew he had four required classes, and found the times in the Magical and Muggle course guide books. He plotted them down on his blank schedule calendar. All of his Magical classes were Monday, Wednesday, Friday classes. Harry figured it would be good if he could make his Muggle classes be on Tuesdays and Thursdays only. He found a Intro to World Religions class was was just on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He looked through all the different English classes and found one that fit well with his schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He saw the class was an freshmen seminar english class but focused on something called the Transcendentalists. Harry shrugged - it mattered more that it fit with his schedule than what the course was actually about. He had the time on Tuesday and Thursday for one, maybe two more classes. He looked through his guide book at what would be interesting. The guidebook mentioned that there were certain core classes he'd have to take no matter his major, jut like Dr. Naomi had said. Harry thought it would be best to get those out of the way. One of them was a writing course that fit well with his schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays and he saw he had to take an art class so picked a class called Ceramics- the only one that fit with his schedule.

Harry laid everything out on his schedule template.

Monday, Wednesday, Friday:

10:00-11:20 - Intro to Transfiguration

12:30-1:50 - Intro to Charms

2:30-3:50 - Intro to Arithmancy

4:00-6:00 - Transfiguration Lab on Monday, Charms Lab on Wednesday.

Tuesday, Thursday

8:00-9:50 - Freshmen Writing

10:00-11:50 - Intro to Religion

1:00-2:50 - Freshmen English - Transcendentalism

3:00-4:50 - Ceramics 1

The guide book said to take no more than 21 credit hours a semester, double majors no more than 25. Harry had 23 credit hours. Harry knew it was at the maximum, but what else did he have to do after all. He would ask Naomi what she thought of his schedule when she arrived.

Harry decided to go to the office supply store that was in his neighborhood and stock up on basics. He bought notebooks, binders (one for each class!), a backpack to carry it all in, all kinds of pens, pencils, highlighters, anything that caught his eye he bought. He knew he would get more detailed lists later, but figured he'd need these no matter what the classes asked of him.

—-

Dr. Naomi, as Harry had taken to calling her, arrived the next day with the Charms Dean, Dr. Ashton who was much more quiet than Dr. Naomi. After basic introductions, Dr. Ashton excused himself to begin the wading process while Dr. Naomi sat down with Harry to go over his course schedule.

"This looks fine James, but are you sure you want that many muggle classes? You won't have a lot of free time."

"I don't think I want a lot of free time Dr. Naomi. I think I need to keep busy."

"If you're sure. If not, you can drop a class anytime that first month and it's fine."

"All done," Dr. Ashton interrupted. "I'm sorry to leave so soon, but I'm extremely busy setting up for orientation. Here's a list of all the wards I added. See you soon young man!"

Harry wasn't impressed. He was contemplating majoring in Transiguration just because of the personality differences between the two Deans.

"He always waits till the last minute," grinned Naomi. "Never the less. One other question for you before I leave. Have you thought about having a local muggle bank account?"

"Why would I need one?"

"Sometimes people prefer muggle checks to a large amount of cash or a credit card. I'd recommend starting an account at a local Atlanta bank called Suntrust. There are branches all over, and there's one right by campus. They have a Wizarding section to the Emory location where they can convert foreign Wizarding currency to American dollars. It doesn't cost anything, and I think it'd better help establish you in the American muggle world."

Harry nodded. "Sounds good. Thanks for the suggestions."

"With that, I'm off. I'll see you this Saturday at orientation."

After Naomi left, Harry decided to go ahead and open up the muggle bank account. He found the address of the branch she was talking about and drove over, only getting lost once. He was slowly improving. An hour later, Harry another bank account, this time in the Muggle world, and had a good healthy starting balance in the six digits (exchange rates were extremely in his favor.) He would later switch to mostly using his Suntrust account rather than his Gringotts account.

—

Harry woke up Saturday morning ready to go. He crawled out of his bedroom and, according to the new routine he set up, headed to his gym for a thirty minute workout. He stuck to jogging on the treadmill. He then took a nice long shower in his huge bathroom (three shower heads! Every time he stepped in the shower he thanked his design team.) Then it was off to get dressed then breakfast. He would need some energy that day, so ate a big breakfast of fresh fruit and home made waffles. (Much better than the ones he got at the hotel downtown!) He washed the dishes and headed to his study to get all of his materials.

He had spent yesterday organizing all the material he had received from Emory so far into a binder, after discovering a quite useful tool called a three hole punch. He put the binder into his backpack, along with a case containing some pens and pencils, and a fresh notebook. So much easier than quills and parchment.

The orientation document said he was to floo to "Orientation Room, Emory College of Magic" sometime between 8:30 and 8:45. There would be some light refreshments and the program would get started promptly at 9:00am. After the magical orientation which would last three and a half hours, he would go over to the muggle university orientation. Harry glanced at his watch, noting it was 8:35, grabbed some floo powder and headed to his college orientation.

—-

"Welcome to Emory, graduating class of 2002! My name is Dr. Carol Moss, and I am the President of the College of Magic at Emory University. I welcome each and every one of you. Emory University has a long and proud history of both Magical and Muggle studies. The coursework will be challenging, but you would not be in this room today if you didn't have what it takes to succeed here.

"I see many brought your parents with you. Parents, if you'll follow me, we'll get started on our own orientation and leave our students to start theirs. Just through those doors please. Students, allow me to introduce you to your orientation leaders: Dr. Jack Bowden, a transfiguration professor, and Stina Nwoko, a senior graduating this year with a dual Potions/Chem degree. Dr. Bowden?"

"Thank you President Moss. Let's go around and everyone introduce themselves. Please say your name, where you're from, and what majors and what minors you will be studying."

"I'm Stina Nwoko and I'm from Colorado and I'm a senior majoring in Potions/Chem and minoring in both Charms and Transfiguation! I just LOVE Emory and I know you will too!" Stina was shorter than harry with black hair that came down past her shoulders. And seemed…energetic to say the least.

"I'm Lee Thomas, and I went to Marietta Magnet. I'm doing the Potions/Chem major and minoring in religion and transfiguration." Lee was tall, Harry estimated two meters, with brown hair and blue eyes. Harry wondered if Lee also had contacts and dyed hair.

'My name is Ashley Kircher, and I'm also from the Atlanta area. I went to Marietta Magnet with Lee. I'm going to be majoring in Transfiguration with a minor in Arithmancy." Ashley had black rimmed glasses and curly brown hair.

'I'm Robert Foley, and I grew up in Washington. I'm majoring in Transfiguration and minoring in Runes." Robert looked to be about Harry's height with a shaved head. Not completely shaved, just cut really short.

'I'm Carolyn Weston, I grew up in Atlanta too and went to Marietta Magnet too. I'm majoring in Potions/Chem with a minor in Herbology." Carolyn had light brown hair that came down to her shoulders, and eyes so large they reminded Harry of Luna.

It was Harry's turn. "I'm James Black. I was born in Britain but our family fled to Australia a few years ago. I was home schooled. I'm undecided between Charms and Transfiguration, undecided Muggle Major, and minoring in Arithmancy."

'I'm Trey Crawley. Totally majoring in Charms and minoring in Runes. Oh, and I'm from Florida."

'I'm Amanda Toms and I'm majoring in Potions and Chemistry. Minoring in herbology and botany. I'm from Kansas."

'Yo. I'm Mo. From here in the A-T-L. Marietta Magnet Represent! Potions and Chemistry. Government minor."

'I'm Sonika Malik. From Charlotte. Also doing Potions/Chem. Herbology will be my minor."

'My name is Jonathan Johnson. I know. I'm doing Charms and minoring in runes. I'm from Dallas."

"Great! Ok everyone. So, Stina is going to pass out these binders for you. We'll be using them throughout the day. Let's go over our agenda.

9:00-10:00 - Individual meeting with Adviser, finalizes class schedule

10:00-11:00 - Tour

11:00-11:30 - Magical Club Fair

11:30-12:00 - Trip to the magical bookstore

12:00-12:30 - Lunch at Woodruff Magical Dining Hall

12:30 - Those with a muggle major to go Muggle orientation, rest get tour of muggle Emory

"If you look in the front flap of our binder, you should see the name of your adviser. Now, if you aren't happy with your adviser after the first semester you can of course change. But we do try our best at matching the right folks to the right staff. The professors will be arriving shortly to take you to their offices. At 10:00, you'll meet back in this room so we can begin the tour. Until the professors arrive to pick you up, feel free to mingle or ask Stina and me any questions you might have! Robert, you're with me. Once the others have headed out, we'll get started."

"So, undecided, hunh?" asked Ashley.

"Yup. But I know I'm minoring in Arithmancy too. Even though I never took a class in it, it sounds so interesting."

"Oo. You'll have a tough time, but if you need help just ask."

"That's Ashley, our little brainiac."

"Oh, shut up Lee." Ashley gave Lee a shove. "You did better than me at triple M anyhow."

"Triple M?" asked Harry.

"Oh. Marietta Magical Magnet. A lot of us went there. You said you were home schooled?"

"Yah," Harry replied to Lee. "Just for secondary school though."

Lee nodded. "We always had some home schooled kids join us at MMM. Hope Austrialia was safe last year. Said you were from the UK, right?"

"Yah."

"We didn't see anything here," added Ashley. "The Wizarding Senate takes for. ever. to make up its mind about anything. They tried to send some help but by then it was too late and that guy had taken over everything. Something like Boldmort?"

Harry tried to keep his jaw from dropping. Was it really not that big of news here?

"Honestly Ashley, I know you hate history, but his name was Voldemort. Anywho, we've never seen something like that happen in the States. But enough with that, I'm sure you're tired of talking about it."

Harry nodded gratefully to Lee. "Right."

"So, you said your name is James. Go by James? Jim? Jimmy? Jim-bob?" asked Ashley.

"Uh, just James is fine."

Ashley grinned. "Fine, fine. I can't wait to get started!"

"See, brainiac."

Ashley stomped on Lee's foot. "Don't mind him. He calls me brainiac cause he's just embarrassed to have graduated valedictorian and not go off to Harvard or something."

"Ashley! You know I wanted to do Potions/Chem and there's no better place. Besides, Emory gave me a full ride. Couldn't pass that up."

Ashley nodded and got pretty quiet. "Sorry, forgot." Harry had no idea what they were talking about there, but Ashley quickly changed the subject. "So, James, transfiguration or charms?"

"Well, when I said I was undecided…"

"Yes?" encouraged Ashley.

"I meant it." Lee burst out laughing. Ashley started to blush a little. Harry continued, "I figure I'll take the intro classes and see which I like better. If I had to pick now, I'd go with Transfiguration just because Dean Lewis is awesome."

"Ooo! You got to meet her?"

Harry nodded. "She did the interested in Emory class I attended a few weeks ago."

"I can't wait. Too bad she's not my mentor. I'll try to switch. She's bril. I've got Dr. Kim. Who do you have? A charms or a transfiguration prof?"

"I've actually got Dr. Lewis." Ashley comically groaned and muttered, "of course." Harry defended himself saying, "Hey, since she helped me after that whole introducing Emory class, I suppose they thought it'd make sense."

"True," added Lee. "And if not, well, Ashley if he decides to major in Charms, she could be your adviser."

Ashley beamed. "Right! I hear Charms is fantastic James!"

"Are you Ashley Kircher? I'm Dr. Janice Kim, and I'm your mentor. What's this about Charms?"

Ashley blushed and started to stutter slightly, causing Lee to burst out laughing. "Smooth Ashley."

Ashley shot Lee a glare and turned to face Dr. Kim. "Just pretend that last minute never happened. I'm stoked to meet you!"

"Wonderful. Let's head out."

"See you later Lee. Nice meeting you James!"

"You too," replied Harry.

One by one, professors came to take their new advisees away. Lee had been taken away by a Dr. Oliver Faulkner, who turned out to be the Dean of Potions. Harry soon saw Dr. Lewis approach, and greeted her with a smile.

"Hi James. Great seeing you here. Let's head back to my office so we can review your schedule one more time and then finalize it."

"Great!"

—

"So, no changes James?"

"No. I know it will be difficult, but I think it'll be ok. Seems a lot like my old Hogwarts schedule from years ago."

"Expect the course work to be a bit harder. You won't get as many homework grades, so a lot of students don't think they need to do the homework or study on their own. They typically last one semester and fail out. Let that be a warning - study hard and study often. Don't disappoint me."

After all she had done for Harry in the past month, Harry was not about to let that happen. "You can count on me Dr. Lewis."

"I told you to call me Naomi. Dr. Naomi if you must." Seeing Harry nod, she continued, "Ok, let me get that in the computer system just to double check the muggle classes will be fine. And if not, I'll make them fine," she said with a wink. "Sometimes registering for classes can be a challenge. But if you ever need help, let me know. I can…pull some strings." She grinned. "Ok, got your classes all set up. I'll print you out a copy, although you'll get a second copy of your schedule later at Muggle Orientation. If they ask why you're only taking classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, your backup excuse is that you have an internship those days. Keep the details vague. Once you pick your major we can change the internship story. If someone really presses you, tell them it's an internship at your Aunt's research and design company, and you can't talk about what you're working on because it's a secret."

Harry nodded.

"Here's your schedule. You've got Dr. Bowden for intro to transfiguration. He's a great professor and great with students, although he's not a fan of research. If you do have any questions though, don't hesitate to ask me. For Charms, you'll have Dr. Chen. Again good with students, although if he talks too much about his research, which he has a tendency to do, just ask him a question to him back to the point. Dr. Hudson will be your Intro to Arithmancy prof - she's the head of the Arithmancy department, but loves teaching the Intro classes.

"I don't know who your Muggle profs are, although I've heard good things about your Intro to Religion Professor Dr. Fishman, but you probably won't meet with them today. Your muggle classes are going to end up being quite a bit bigger than your magical classes. We have about seventy five freshmen, and most freshmen intro classes end up being anywhere from 15 to 20 students, getting much smaller in the higher level classes. Muggle classes can have hundreds, although usually they have about 50 or 75. Any questions so far?"

"What are the labs?"

"The Charms and Transfiguration labs are when you practice various spells or transformations that you learned about in class. The lectures are just that - lectures with theory. Some of your charms and transfiguration classes might end up more labs than not, but the Intros are mostly theory with some practice."

Harry nodded. "I think that's it. I'm sure I'll have more later."

"Once the school year starts I naturally get a lot busier. But we will have monthly meetings. How about on the last Friday of the month during lunch?"

Harry wrote it down on his schedule. "Sounds good!"

—-

'That's right. So, to summarize for everyone,'" continued Stina. She had spent the last hour showing the students around the magical campus. "All of the College of Magic is in the area of campus Muggle students know as Lullwater Estates. They think it's a fancy muggle neighborhood, and indeed a lot of it is. But the southwestern corner is where all the buildings are. We've already seen the Transfiguration, Charms, and Potions buildings. The minors all share one building, nicknamed The Cave, and there's Woodruff Hall, which is a dining hall and Magical Student Center. The bookstore and rec area's also in Wooduff Hall. It's got rooms you can reserve for club meetings and the like. Finally, opposite the quad from Woodruff Hall is the Athena Library, one of the largest Magical libraries in the world. We get all kinds of visitors using it. And of course there's plenty of study rooms there too. Now we've asked all the different clubs that call the College of Magic home to set up a booth in Woodruff Hall Auditorium. Wonder around for a while, and then we're off to the Bookstore to get your books and meet back up with your parents, then lunch! Follow me everyone!"

"So," began Lee, "How did your meeting with Dr. Lewis go? Got your schedule?"

Harry nodded. "She's pretty great."

Ashley let out a sound Harry could only describe as a wail. "I didn't get along with Dr. Lee at all! If it doesn't improve, I'm totally going to ask to be switched to Dr. Lewis. What's your schedule like?"

The three of them compared schedules. All three had Intro to Transfiguration together. Harry would have Intro to Arithmancy with Ashley and Intro to World Religions and Freshmen Writing with Lee.

"Wow. I thought I had a tough schedule. Lee, yours is just insane."

"Yah. But I want to make the most of it while I'm here. Looks like we'll both be here for ages each day. And man, I wish I could have taken your English class, I love the Transcendentalists, but it conflicted with my chem course."

"See, YOU'RE the brainiac here Lee. And James here. For someone undecided you sure are taking a lot of classes."

"Thanks Ashley Your schedule looks so light."

She scoffed. "Mine is normal. You two are the freaks. Now let's get over to the clubs. I've been looking forward to this."

Set up around the auditorium in Woodruff Hall were tables for different magical clubs, and Ashley dragged the three of them to each booth. There were clubs for each major and minor, and Ashley talked Harry into joining the Arithmancy Study Group (the teachers made them change their name last year from Arithmancy Study Society.) Lee convinced Ashley and Harry to sign up for a club called the ELVES.

"That's right. The Emory Loves Volunteering Everywhere Society! Give back and all."

"How will we have the time?"

Lee waved the question away. "We'll find the time. We ought to help out where we can."

"FINE," sighed Ashley. "But if it conflicts with some of the other clubs…"

"Yah Yah Yah."

There were booths for the quidditch and quodpot teams, which Harry quickly passed on. There were booths for the campus weekly magical newspaper and more.

"I don't think I want to sign up for any more," Harry began. "I think I'll wait to see how much time I have to study and everything. Not sure how much time I'll have."

Ashley scoffed and signed up for five more, ranging from the Magical Student Government association to the magical book club. Lee veered off when they hit something called Campus Curved. Harry asked Ashley what it was and she replied, "Oh. See, not straight. Curved. Get it?"

Harry blinked. "No?"

"I'll let Lee explain. Here he is. Lee, James here has no idea what Curved is."

"Oh. See, James, I'm gay - that doesn't bother you does it?"

"No. Got the name now though."

"I was in the high school version at MMM. This Curve does a lot with the gay muggle group too."

Harry nodded. It wasn't all that common at Hogwarts, but he knew there were a few gay students like Colin.

"Lee was president of it in high school. Don't get him started."

Lee grinned. "Hey, you always came to our fundraisers."

"So sue me, I like BLTs."

They both laughed, with Harry having not a clue what they were talking about. He shrugged. "Think it's time for the bookstore."

The next stop was the bookstore, also located in Woodruff Hall. Harry had to pick up three sets of books here. There were three books he needed for Intro to Transfiguration, two books for Charms with an optional supplement that he saw he already had (picked it up in his Diagon Alley trip), three books, two workbooks, and a suggested purchases list for his Intro to Arithmancy course. He had almost everything on the list but a magical calculator. He would pop in to the Wizmart to pick one up. Looking at Lee struggle with all of his books, Potions seemed to need a ton of reference books, Harry laughed and went over to help his new friend.

Ashley waved and said that she saw her family waiting for her to buy all of her textbooks. They would see each other in a month at the first day of classes, but Ashley offered to help him out with anything he'd need, being from Australia and all. Before Ashley met her parents, Lee suggested the three of them go get some coffee in couple weeks and Ashley agreed so quickly Harry felt like he had no choice but to agree. They decided to meet up in a couple of Saturdays at 2:00pm. During the day, The Unicorn's Horn was a coffee shop, switching over to bar later in the evening.

"Well, off to get some food, then Muggle orientation."

"Did you see where the dining hall was," asked Harry.

"I did. Come on, let's pay for the books and head on over."

The cashier was sure to put Harry's books in a magically lightened bag and shrunk it, which he promptly put in his backpack.

"I'm just going to apparate these back to my apartment. Be right back." Lee popped away, leaving Harry to look at some of the merchandise. He was toying with the idea of getting a hat, but when the letters to Emory started dancing, he figured it wouldn't be very incognito. Harry heard a soft pop from behind him and saw Lee.

"Off to lunch. I heard the food's pretty good, better than the Muggle dining halls."

"Do they use house elves here?"

Lee blanched. "No way! I suppose you wouldn't know, since you probably never had an American Wizarding History course. But house elves are against the law in the States. See, there's only been one conflict between American wizards in history, and it spilled over in to the muggle world as well to terrible consequences. Both the wizards and the muggles call it the Civil War." Lee paused to get some pizza and a coke, which Harry grabbed as well. Lee continued talking as they paid and sat down.

"In the North, wizards didn't believe in keeping house elves as slaves. They set them all free, and thought that house elf slavery should be banned outright. The southern states, seeing Muggles with their African slaves, disagreed saying that it was in the elves nature to be slaves. Eventually it bubbled up so badly there was a war between the two sides. Some of the northern literature leaked to the Muggles, and although it was written about elves, it was really universal in condeming slavery. That lead to the muggle civil war."

"Oh? When was this?"

"150 years ago or so. Although things aren't still as they should be in the muggle world, the magical world moved on pretty quickly. The only elves you see around in America are fully paid. I heard it's not like that in other countries though. It's the main reason ties between Wizarding America and Wizarding Britain aren't better."

"Hunh. No idea. I'm pretty against house elves as slaves, but never heard of the American Civil War."

"Of course they'd keep it quiet overseas. Don't want house elf freedom to extend any further," spat Lee. "It's such an injustice."

Harry nodded. If Harry hadn't completely cut his ties to Britain, he would have introduced Lee to Hermione. Oh well. Hermione would have to discover it for herself like he discovered it for himself.

"So, Lee, where's your family?"

"Well, might as well get this out of the way. My Dad died when I was young. Just me, my mom, and my older sister."

"My parents died too."

"Ugh. Sorry James."

"Yah. Still not quite over it, was just last year."

"Well if you ever need to talk about it, let me know. Mine died when I was 10. I'm a muggle born, and since finances were tight after my dad died, when I got an acceptance letter to the Marietta Magnet school at 13, fully paid with housing, she couldn't believe it. They spelled it up to look like some fancy boarding school, and my Mom eventually said ok. She still doesn't know I'm a wizard. Or gay for that matter. I think either would set her off and they'd need the Oblivators. So it's just me. I'll visit the fam on holidays, but that's about it. They live a few hours away."

"What's your mum think about college?"

"Oh she's thrilled. Full ride to Emory and all. She simply thinks I'm in the muggle only program. So you have any sibs? What brought you to the States?"

"No siblings here. And what brought me to the America? Good as anywhere I suppose. I needed to get away-"

"-Of course, the memories of your parents."

Well, memories of folks murdered, yes. Harry nodded. "Yah. So I sold everything and looked for a new place. Atlanta seemed just as good of a place as any."

"How long you been here?"

"Around a month now."

"Ah. Done the touristy stuff yet?"

"The what?"

"You know, World of Coke, the Zoo…"

"Not yet."

Lee grinned. "Me and Ashley'll have to take you around at some point. Oh. Nuts. Look at the time. Gotta get across campus for muggle orientation. Odds are we won't be in the same group like this time - the muggle university is huge! We'll get lost our first week for sure."

—-

Harry looked at his watch and saw it was 7:13pm. The muggle orientation has been long and was finally glad to be back at his home. It was quite similar to the magical orientation, but the tour had been quite a bit longer. Emory seemed quite big to Harry, so much larger than the College of Magic.

They had talked to everyone about some Emory's traditions, what the campus was like, how to meet people, general campus life stuff. The student center was about the same size as the magical Woodruff Hall, but the dining halls were a lot larger and the library was at least triple the size.

And the books. Harry needed twelve book for his English class, but none were that big. Harry wasn't sure why his Intro to Religion classes needed 10 books, but it did. At least the other nine weren't as thick as the big one. His ceramics class only had one book, but he would need to buy a lot of materials throughout the year from clay to glaze. His writing course had three books, one just on grammar that when Harry looked through…well, it would be a long year.


	7. Chapter 7 First Day of Magical Classes

**Chapter 7**

**A/N: **I was originally going to have Harry change his major at the end of the first semester. But then the characters got a hold of the story and decided otherwise. It happens. I was going to have info about his muggle classes and describe his first muggle day, but it got long. So we'll cover that in the next chapter. Everything you recognize belongs to J.K.

"So why are you minoring in religion?" asked Harry. Harry, Lee, Ashley, and a friend of theirs from orientation and MMM Carolyn, were at the Unicorn's Horn. After introducing Harry to the wonders of a mocha, they sat down at one of the tables and started to chat about the pending start to Emory. Just two weeks away.

"Oh! I'm a Unitarian."

"A what?"

"A Unitarian Universalist-" Lee attempted to reply, but Ashley interrupted.

"-A UU. Don't get him started. He's taken everyone he's ever met to his church."

"Congregation!" corrected Lee.

"Fine, Congregation. They're nice and all, but not for me. I'll stick to sleeping in on Sunday mornings."

"You'll have to come with me sometime James."

"Oh. Is it anything like the Baptists?" Harry asked thinking of the kind stranger from his flight over.

Lee looked horrified. "No! Geesh. You need that intro to religion course bud."

"Moving on," said Carolyn in a desperate attempt to change the conversation, "Two weeks of freedom left."

"Freedom? I'm thinking I'll have more freedom at college!" replied Ashley.

Carolyn rolled her eyes. "Seriously. Have you two at all been enjoying your post-graduation pre-college summer vacation? Did you go anywhere?"

Lee shook his head, but Ashley nodded. "Visited the extended fam up in New York. Always a fun trip."

Carolyn turned to Harry. "And you James?"

"Well. Yes. See, I traveled to America. But decided to stay."

Carolyn rolled her eyes and politely ignored the snickering from Ashley and Lee. "Ok, I walked right into that one. We went to the Caribbean. Saw some amazing beaches."

"Did you see any tribal magic?" asked Lee.

"Why would I even bother looking?" replied Carolyn. "A) SUMMER VACATION, hello, and B) we're a potions family. If anything, my Dad would have searched for some weird potions ingredient. But Mom forbade it so we could have a good time and not bother with customs."

Harry nodded. "That was by far the worst part about arriving in America."

Carolyn grinned. "You said it! Hard to explain wonky potions ingredients."

"So," began Ashley in an attempt to veer the conversation away from Potions, knowing that Lee and Carolyn would inevitably get into a discussion about their future major, "I hear we need to take a certain foreigner on a tour of Atlanta."

Carolyn cheered. "I'm SO in. Got a list yet Ashley?"

As the two of them began working on a list of places to drag Harry off to, Lee looked at Harry, shrugged, and drank some more of his mocha. Harry took another sip of his, but didn't chug the stuff like Lee did. When Lee came up for breath, he asked Harry if he was ready for classes to start.

"I think so. I've been flipping through some of the books already."

"Oh?" asked Lee. "Which ones?"

"Mostly the ones for my muggle classes. The English class looks…well, some of those Transcendentalist books don't really look like they're even in English."

Lee snorted. "Those guys and gals were Unitarians too, just sayin'"

"Enough Lee!" shouted Ashley, a little too loudly since most of the cafe looked over to their table. She blushed and went back to plotting with Carolyn. "I really do think four malls is enough Carolyn…"

Harry blanched, and turned back to Lee. "Uh, well. Looks to be a tough class."

"You wouldn't believe some of the potions books I have to read. And it's only for Intro!"

"I thought you liked that sort of thing."

"Well, got me pegged pretty quickly James. Anywho, so, what else. Sports. Got a favorite Quod team?"

"Err, not really. Never seen a game to be honest."

"Well, I'm not a fan, although Carolyn's a regular Quod groupie."

"That's right," added Carolyn with a smile. "Go Drakes!"

Lee rolled his eyes. "Quidditch? That's bigger in Australia, right?"

Harry nodded. "No favorite team though…other than the national team."

"I don't pay much attention to it, I have to admit. So, where are you staying? A dorm?"

"Oh, no, I bought a house."

With that, Ashley and Carolyn paused from their plotting. "Wait, you BOUGHT a house?" asked Carolyn. "I thought you weren't from here!'

"I'm not."

"So how'd you get a house? How'd you afford it?" she pressed.

"Well," began Harry, "when my parents died I sold everything. Needed a place to live. Since I decided to go to Emory, I bought a house with that money." Harry didn't want to get too much into his wealth…he hardly knew them and wasn't sure how'd they take it.

"Oh man. I'm stuck living at home for the first year," said Ashley. "My parents wouldn't let me move out. Or share an apartment with Lee. Didn't want me to room with a boy, even though he wouldn't want to shack up with me anyways."

"Damn right!" laughed Lee.

"I've got an apartment too. Had to get out of the house," said Carolyn. "I'm pretty close by Emory. Same complex as Lee actually."

Lee nodded. "Yup. Can walk to the Magical College from where we are. Anyways, what part of town are you in James?"

"The realtor said it's called Toco Hills."

"Thats right, your floo address. I thought it was just an apartment," said Ashley.

"So when can we visit?" asked Carolyn with a grin.

Harry didn't want to insult them, but he hardly knew them. He paused for time by taking a drink of his mocha. He had long ago learned not to trust anyone completely, especially after just meeting them once or twice, and didn't yet want them to be able to come into his home. He wanted to keep it as much of a secret as he could. He was still thinking over how to politely tell them no when Lee said, "Honestly. Carolyn. We just met the guy. Of course he isn't going to throw a party yet."

Carolyn snapped her fingers. "Ok, ok. But you'll have to show us sometime."

Harry nodded and took another sip of his mocha.

—-

Harry spent the last few weeks before school began skimming through his books, gardening (his Sunlight Sunflowers were already up to his stomach), and learning new recipes. He was able to put off his pending tour of Atlanta until the Winter Break, much to his happiness. Everything he needed was in his neighborhood or he knew how to get to it. He had practiced the drive to Emory multiple times, even practiced finding his assigned parking spot (thanks to Dr. Naomi.)

Before he knew it, it was the first of August and time for Harry to begin his new life as a college student. He woke up much earlier than he needed to on Monday, 6:00am, but he wanted to get into a normal daily routine as quickly as he could, and he had those 8am classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Unlike most mornings, Harry woke up right away and could feel the butterflies already beginning.

He was having a lot of self doubts. Would he be able to handle the classes? Would anyone from Britain track him down? Would his cover story stick? Would he finally move on from his horrid past year with this new endeavor to focus on? Would he like his classes? Faced with more questions than answers, he rolled out of bed and headed to his gym to jog on his treadmill for half an hour. Harry looked forward to being able to run outside at some point when it finally cooled town, which he assumed would happen at some point. It was much, much warmer than it was in Britain. Thank goodness for central air.

After his workout, Harry hopped into his shower and changed into blue jeans and a t-shirt. Harry then turned on his TV to watch a morning news program. He had really taken to one of the morning news shows over the past couple of weeks, and was slowly learning more and more about the current state of affairs in the muggle world. He figured it would be good to know what was going on in Muggle America, especially if he wanted to live as a Muggle at some point. While the news program was on, Harry made himself a large breakfast and sat down to enjoy the banter between the hosts of the program.

Harry noted when it was 7:15. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, he would leave for Emory at this time. Harry wondered what he should do with the spare time on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Harry figured he'd have studying to do or homework to complete, and that would take up his mornings. He could always go ahead to the college early and use the library or hang out in the student centers if need be. Harry decided to busy himself with cleaning up the house and double checking he had packed everything he'd need for later in the day.

—-

Harry left for Emory at 9:00am and had pulled in to his parking space at 9:20. It would be a ten minute walk from his parking space to the College of Magic - at least his parking space was closer to his Muggle classes. His first class was Intro to Transfiguration at 10, followed by an hour long break, than Intro to Charms at 12:30. Intro to Arithmancy would come after a half hour break, and then it was right into Transfiguration Lab.

"Hey! James! Wait up!" Harry turned around to see Ashley walking quickly behind him. "Nice hat."

Harry grinned. "Thanks. So, ready for the first day?"

"Yup. Got here a few minutes ago, wanted to get out of the house. Parents were being a little too overly…yah. So, you ready?"

"Well, I think so. But you never really know."

Ashley grinned. "Well, I guess that's true. Glad I have an easy day today."

Harry nodded. "Well, mine's easier than tomorrow I suppose." Harry yawned, causing Ashley's eyebrows to rise.

"Already tired? Late night last night?" asked Ashley with a grin.

"No. Woke up at 6 this morning."

"Why in God's name did you wake up that early?"

Harry shrugged. "It's what I'm going to have to do tomorrow, so I thought I'd try to get used to it. Traffic was a mess this morning. Hope it's not like that tomorrow."

"Probably will be. Wait - you drove? Didn't apparate?" Seeing Harry's nod, she asked, "Why?"

Harry shrugged. "Because I can?"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Come on. I told Lee I'd meet them outside the Transfiguration lecture hall before class started so we could get seats together."

"Why would we need to sit together? Isn't it just lectures?" Ashley ignored the question and led Harry to the Transfiguration Building.

The outside of the Transfiguration building looked like all the other buildings in the College of Magic, but when they entered the building that's where the similarities ended. Each school had taken great care to altar the hallways and classrooms to suit their subject. Transfiguration was lined with statues that would occasionally change shape to another form. Ashley startled when one changed from a fish to a lion just as she walked by. "I'm never going to get used to that."

"Well," said Harry, "I think they're brilliant."

"You would," muttered Ashley. "Oh, there's Lee. Hey Lee! Look who I found." She shoved James in front of her and he gave a little wave.

"Great. Come on, lets go!" exclaimed Lee.

"Already in a rush?" asked Ashley.

Lee nodded. "I want to get a good seat. Robert told me Dr. Bowden's awesome." The trio walked into the lecture hall and grabbed seats on the third row in the middle. There were about 10 rows of seats, each row had about 15 seats on average. The seats were a dark wooden color with blue cushions with a lighter blue carpet. There was a big whiteboard spanning the front wall, along with a projector screen that could be raised or lowered depending on the wishes of the professor. Each seat had a small desk, large enough to only rest a notebook. The room began to steadily fill, until it leveled off at around 30 students. At 10:00 on the dot, the doors abruptly slammed shut behind Dr. Bowden.

Dr. Bowden looked the same to Harry as he did at the orientation a couple of weeks ago. Shorter than Harry and with glasses, the man looked to be in his forties. Harry was surprised at how young most of the faculty looked. At least the faculty he had met so far.

"Good morning everyone, and welcome to Intro to Transfiguration. You're in this class because you're either majoring or minoring in Transfiguration, or undecided about it. The College of Magic at Emory University only accepts the best, and if you couldn't do the work you wouldn't be sitting in this room right now. Every one of you has an A right now in my class. It's up to you to keep it. Course syllabi and a course calendar should be materializing on your desk right now. Let's go over some of the highlights.

"You will have three tests in addition to your final. They make up a large portion of your grade. You will have some papers that will be assigned throughout the year making up 15% of your grade, and your work in the labs make up the remaining 20%. Your labs are Mondays, but you won't have a lab today. Even though you might have thought otherwise, your first lab will be today. Your lab instructors will be graduate students working on their Doctorates in Transfiguration. You will treat them with the same respect that you show me. Transfiguration can be the most dangerous branch of magic if you aren't paying attention. Anyone caught intentionally goofing off during the labs will fail my course and be sent to the Office of the President for disciplinary review.

"Your lectures will be just that. Lectures. We'll be covering mostly theory in lectures, although you will be learning spells in the lectures and I might occasionally call on one of you to help demonstrate. I would strongly, strongly recommend you hold off from practicing what you learn in the lectures until after you've covered it in the labs.

"So what will we be covering in this class? Sure, we'll be covering spells, but we'll be mostly looking at the theories behind transfiguration. There are more transfiguration theories and theorems than you can shake a stick at. Indeed we have an entire course on them, but this class will give you the Cliff notes versions. Lets dive right on into a discussion on the basics of transfiguration theory."

Harry had already filled an entire page in his notes, and quickly turned to the next page in his notebook to keep up. He wasn't the only one furiously taking notes. Dr. Bowden sat down on a raised chair behind the podium. "If your high school classes were anything like mine, you spent most of your transfiguration time learning certain wand movements and incantations to change one item into another. But you never learned why those spells and wand incantations work."

"At its heart," Dr. Bowden continued, "transfiguration is an art. Despite the hundreds and thousands of theorems and rules behind transfiguration, it's an art, not a science. Transfiguration is the art of manipulating energy. It's the art of manipulating this energy that changes how we perceive whatever the result is.

"Transfiguration is also the art of changing perceptions. We manipulate the energy, but what we are also doing is changing how we perceive the object at hand. This podium is made of metal. But with a simple swish of the wand," Dr. Bowden demonstrated, "you all now perceive it as gold. But, is it actually gold? How many of you think this podium is now gold?" About two thirds of the class had his or her hand raised. It looked gold to Harry, but Harry figured it was a trick question and kept his hand down.

Dr. Bowden smiled. "Lesson number 1. Just because this appears to be gold doesn't make it so. If I leave this podium alone, which I will do, you will see it revert back to its metallic form by the end of class. Transfiguration is not permanent. Write this down. Transfiguration is NEVER permenant. The Lloyd Principle states that no transfiguration is permanent, with the Lynn corollary that says self transfiguration can last until the death of the subject. But upon a person's death, even self-transfigurations disappear. In the history of transfiguration, there has never been a permanent transfiguration. Everything reverts back to its natural form eventually. How long it takes depends on too many factors to get into right now and we learn more every day what makes transfigured items last longer. It might seem like it would last forever, and it could last decades if done correctly. But it will NOT be permanent. We'll cover what makes transfigurations last longer in a future lecture." Dr. Bowden paused to take a drink from his bottle of water. "Any questions so far?"

There was only one hand raised. Harry had indeed been wondering about the gold transfiguration. "You'll have to tell me your name. It'll be a couple weeks before I've got everyone figured out."

"I'm James Black sir."

"Go ahead with your question."

"I'm curious about the podium. It certainly appears gold to me, although you say it's not gold. If we took it to a chemist and asked him to test the material, what would the chemist see?"

Dr. Bowden beamed at Harry. "James that is an excellent question, and I commend you for coming into this class with the right mindset. Now, keep in mind I'm rather skilled at transfiguration." Dr. Bowden grinned. "If we took this podium to a chemist, his tests would currently show the podium as being made of gold. Because the energy has changed the metal atoms at their atomic level into atoms of gold. And the transfiguration is power enough to change the perceptions of even the chemist's equipment. Chemically, this podium is currently gold. Yes. James?" asked Dr. Bowden noting Harry's raised hand.

"A follow up sir. If it appears gold and at the chemical level the podium is gold, then why isn't it gold?"

Dr. Bowden grinned. "That's a question more suited for the Philosophy of Transfiguration course than here. But I can give it a shot. It's not gold because it's metal wearing a mask. It might be currently golden, but that does not make it Gold. Changing the mask doesn't change the inherent nature of the object, and this object's inherent nature is that of metal. If I were to immediately cease channeling energy into the podium, which is what a reversal spell does at its core, the energy it takes to transfigure the atoms would disappear, and the podium would revert back into its unaltered metal state. This is covered more in depth in a later course in the Transfiguration program. Did that answer your question James?"

"I think so. For now at least."

Dr. Bowden smiled. "Any other questions?" Another student in the class asked him if he would repeat the hand motion for the podium transfiguration. Harry felt a tap on his shoulder, and looked over to see both Lee and Ashley staring.

"What?" Harry whispered hesitantly. Ashley was about to begin whispering back, but Dr. Bowden dismissed the student's question as not relevant and was back to lecturing.

"So we have that transfiguration is the art of manipulating energy and changing perceptions, and no transfiguration is permanent. Now, let's continue."

—

The hour and a half passed more quickly than Harry had expected. Harry turned to Lee and Ashley who were packing up. "I'll meet you outside. I have a couple more questions for Dr. Bowden." Before he could give them an opportunity to respond, Harry made his way down to the front of the class.

"James?"

"Yes, Dr. Bowden. I had another question for you."

"Go ahead."

"You said transfiguration was about manipulating perceptions, how people perceive the object. But how does casting a spell at an object change someone else's brain? Isn't perception all done in the brain?"

"And you're really undecided? You realize Harry, you're asking questions on your first day that seniors cover in some of their classes. Who is your adviser? I hope it's one of ours."

"Dr. Naomi."

"Good. I'm going to have a chat with her over lunch. You need to major in Transfiguration James. Your mind is right for it. You ask the right questions, have the right curiosities. I'll be damned if we're going to lose you to Charms. Ok, I'm kidding. Mostly. But I'm willing to bet you won't find Charms anywhere near as interesting as you found this first class."

"Well sir, if you say so. I'll wait to see it for myself."

Dr. Bowden grinned. "Sounds good. Enjoy Intro to Charms. You know if you declare your major in the first week, you can drop charms and take the Transfiguration ethics course instead. Just sayin."

"Err, ok. So sir, back to my question?"

"You probably haven't studied physics yet, but let's talk a little about how we perceive the color of an object. Our eyes perceive color in two main ways: when wavelengths that compose white light are interfered with on the way from its source to our eyes, think of the sky being blue as an example there, and when something is emitting light of a certain wavelength. When we tinker around with the internal energy of something, like we did with this podium," Dr. Bowden hit his fist on the podium which had reverted back to metal with ten minutes left to go in the class, "the wavelengths of light that's reflected by the podium also change. So we perceive the difference in energy in part as a change in those wavelengths, which our eyes interpret as the color gold. That make any sense?"

"Well. A little."

"You'll probably need a physics and a biology class to truly understand what's at work there. We do cover some of it in a senior level course. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to meet up with Dr. Naomi for lunch. Expect to your ears to burn at some point." Dr. Bowden gathered his suitcase and headed out.

"Wait. What? My ears might burn?"

—-

"That's an American expression James. It means they'll be talking about you. You seriously thought they'd set your ears on fire or something?" Lee was skeptical.

"Well how was I supposed to know."

"What'd you want to ask him?" pressed Ashley.

"A question about how we change someone's perception."

"Oh? What's he say?"

"Well. He said that they cover it more in a senior level course."

"Geesh. James. It really does sound like you ought to be majoring in Transfiguration."

"Yah. That's what Dr. Bowden said."

"Ooh!" squealed Ashley, "He asked you to switch? That's GREAT!"

"Yah that first class WAS really really interesting."

"You should totally be in my ethics course then."

"What's it like?"

"I have it next. But the readings look so neat! There's an entire book on the ethics of animal transfiguration and-"

"-I'll just stand here and hum and talk to myself I suppose," Lee interrupted.

Ashley grinned. "We'll talk about it later."

"I still want to see what Charms is like. Could be interesting too."

—-

It wasn't, at least that's what Harry thought. There was not nearly as much discussion about the why of charms. Most of the charms program seemed to be about memorization, at least that's what Harry thought based off his first class. There was just a little bit of theory mentioned in the Intro class, and it was quickly set aside and mentioned there would be a Theory of Charms course as a senior level elective. People weren't entirely sure why charms worked they way they did, although research mostly revolved around the charm temporarily suspending the laws of physics with whatever the charm was cast on. But the theory was largely incomplete and many charms didn't even fit with the incomplete theory.

Harry left the class feeling pretty unsatisfied. He heard a lot of the other students talking excitedly about the charms they were learning, but it didn't strike Harry the same way that his transfiguration class had. He had a lot of Charms books in his library that he could look up spells in - he didn't need a class in how to memorize them. If he was going to study something for many years, he wanted to at least enjoy the classes. But Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to declare a major after only one class in the intro courses.

Harry had half an hour before his Intro to Arithmancy course. He had already grabbed lunch with Lee and Ashley after their transfiguration class, and although he could get started on his readings for homework, he wasn't sure if half an hour would be long enough. Harry decided to go back to the Transfiguration building and see if Dr. Naomi was in. Maybe she could help him sort through some of his feelings.

Harry caught her at just the right time - she had finished teaching one of her courses, and was back in her office. "Ah, James, come on in. I had the most interesting discussion with Dr. Bowden today. You really made an impression on him! Well done!"

"Thanks Dr. Naomi. I was wondering if I could talk something through with you. But I admit I'm a little worried you might be biased. Can I count on you to keep an open mind?"

"Of course James! If you think I'm being biased at all one way or the other, let me know and I'll take a step back."

"Ok. Here goes. See, I just got done with Intro to Charms. And it, well, sucked. I wasn't interested at all like I was in Transfiguration."

She nodded. "James, that happens. You came in undecided, but when you reach this level in your education, you simply might not find all magic as interesting any more. When comparing Charms and Transfiguration, I tend to see students who enjoy memorizing enjoy Charms more. There's a million charms out there, and there are a lot of students who want to learn those charms and maybe even invent their own someday. Charms is a wonderful branch of magic, but it's simply not everyone's cup of tea.

"Each person has what interests them. James, I know you haven't gotten to enjoy a lot of what interests you. You've been forced to study and perform, or die as a result. Now, that's not the case. You have the opportunity, quite possibly for the first time in your life, to engage in what interests you the most, not what might be the most useful down the road. A great man Rev. Howard Thurman once said, 'Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.' You've done what the world needs. Now's your time to do what makes you come alive."

Harry started to tear up. Dr. Naomi looked alarmed for a a minute, then told Harry to take his time (and passed him the box of tissues on her desk.) Some weight on Harry's shoulders had been lifted. This was far beyond the decision between Charms and Transfiguration. This was a deeper realization He had been doing what the world needed for a long time but not what made him come alive. He might find what makes him come alive while at Emory but more importantly he was allowed to find it out for himself. And that is what he so desperately needed. That permission.

"I. I don't know what to say. Thank you Dr. Naomi."

She smiled. "You don't need to thank me James. Or, if you want to, promise me you'll spend time each day thinking about what makes you come alive and promise me you'll follow it."

"I, I will."

"Great. Now, as for charms being boring-"

Harry managed a slight chuckle. "Just tell me this - are most Charms classes going to be similar to this one?"

She nodded. "The Charms courses at higher levels are all centered around different families of charms. But in the end, you're mostly memorizing. There is an elective in spell creation, but there's more spell creation in Transfiguration and a lot more of it in your minor, Arithmancy. So you'll have plenty of opportunities."

"So how do you declare a major?"

She grinned. "I've already got the form in my desk. I figured after seeing your MAT scores you'd switch sooner than later. You've just got more of a talent for transfiguration. Now, although this is a serious choice, you can change your mind again if you so choose. But James, I don't want you to send it in to the admin office yet. I want you to go through one more charms class, and if it's still not right and you still want to switch, then I'll endorse it no problem and we'll get you switched over starting Friday."

Harry nodded. "So, if I do switch, I'm not in Intro to Charms anymore?"

She shook her head. "No need. You'd be enrolled in the other first semester first year transfiguration required course, an ethics course."

"Would I be far behind in it? How would I catch up with the assignments?"

"I think the professor would give you some leeway and help you get caught up."

"Oh, who's the professor?"

She grinned.

—-

"Welcome to Introduction to Arithmancy. My name is Dr. Hudson, and I'm thrilled to welcome you to the first class towards your eventual minor in Arithmancy." Harry looked around the room. It wasn't in a lecture hall like his other two introduction classes had been in. There were about 20-25 desks total in the room, with whiteboards covering the span of three of the walls. Harry was sitting next to Ashley - it dawned on Harry if he did switch his major, the two of them would have all of his magical classes together. She had talked excitedly about the Transfiguration Ethics course, and raved about Dr. Naomi's teaching style. That class had about 15 people in it. Which was more than this class - there were only 10 people their year minoring in Arithmancy.

"Arithmancy," continued Dr. Hudson, "is the study of how the laws of magic interact with the laws of nature. Different numbers have different magical properties, and when you combine them in different ways, different things happen. Throughout your time studying Arithmancy, you'll see how much math there is to magic when you break a spell down in to its components. You'll see how breaking a spell down in to its components and adding the components in a different order can affect how the spell performs. You'll see how to create a spell using known Magical components. And you'll see how casting multiple spells can lead to surprising, but predictable, results.

"But most of that you will learn in your later years. You have to have a strong foundation first. In Intro to Arithmancy, we start building that foundation. Your first year studying Arithmancy will be difficult. It's often said Arithmancy is the most difficult minor at Emory, and it's because of this first year. You will get a crash course in Mathematics, ranging from Algebra and Geometry in your first semester to Trigonometry and Calculus in your second semester. The pace will be difficult and if you fall behind you will be lost within a week. Every week there are tutoring sessions with graduate assistants who can help you if you fall behind. There's a schedule of these tutoring sessions in your course syllabus.

'We begin today with some of the basic theorems and postulates and properties. You need to not only know what they do but you need to know the correct name. You will have a quiz on these Friday. But for many of you, this will be a review of what you covered in high school. Let's get started with the Distributive property."

Harry's head hurt by the end of the class. He was already behind in Arithmancy, and it was only the first day. Not having taken any courses in Arithmancy at Hogwarts was coming back to haunt him. He turned to Ashley as they walked together towards Transfiguration Lab and said, "I'm in trouble."

"Hmm? Why?"

"I didn't know any of that. Like, at all."

"Oh. It's kinda basic James. But if you need help, get one of those tutoring sessions, or you can get some help at the Arithmancy Study Group! Did you see when our first meeting was?"

"Uh, no."

"Thursday afternoon before the quiz. Did you not see the sign in the Arithmancy building?"

"Uh, no. Didn't know it was there."

"Club notices are posted in the front lobby of every building. In addition to the weekly paper, but that comes out on Fridays."

"So," asked Harry, "what do you think the first Transfiguration Lab will be like?"

—-

The Lab turned out to be mostly an introduction and going over the extensive lab rules packet. They covered only two transfigurations, both of which they would see later in the week. They were using one material and only changing the shape or color of the material. They were not transfiguring one element to another - this would be taught much later in the year, much to Harry's disappointment.

When the Lab was done, Ashley had to get back home for dinner. Lee asked Harry if he wanted to hang out, but with his early morning tomorrow, Harry said he wanted to get back home. They would see each other in their Intro to Religion course the next day.

Harry walked back to his car, mentally figuring out what he needed to do that evening. He knew he needed to start studying Arithmancy right away and work through the suggested workbook pages for homework. He had some Transfiguration he needed to read, but he was already much more worried about Arithmancy. He decided not to cook that evening and instead picked up a hamburger to go at one of his neighborhood restaurants. He took it home to eat, and by 8:00 he was working through his Arithmancy workbook with the TV on as background noise. He called it a night at 11:00pm and headed up to bed. It would be an early morning and his first day of Muggle Emory.


	8. Chapter 8 First Day of Muggle Classes

**Chapter 8**

A/N: From what I remember, the Belief-o-Matic quiz was around in 98. I'm pretty sure I took it in 2000. So we'll assume it was around in 98 too. And it's still active - just google it. I'm going to try and work in some stuff on the Transcendentalists in here, but truth be told, I really like their ideas but find their writings so boring to get through. Camp NaNoWriMo has begun, so I'm going to be working on this in earnest over the next month.

"Welcome to Freshman Writing. This Freshmen Writing Section E with Dr. Hayley Guest. If you're in the wrong class, please double check your schedule and room." Harry was sitting in the middle of the classroom, one of about fifty students. He only recognized Lee in the class, although it seemed like Lee knew a couple of other students. Lee had arrived too late to sit next to Harry, and looked extremely tired. Harry, feeling tired himself, drank some from his mocha. He had woken up early enough to hit up a coffee shop on campus.

A couple of the students got up and left, and Dr. Guest continued. "This is a mandatory writing course for all Emory students. Why is a writing class required? Generations of students who can't seem to put their thoughts on paper in to a coherent essay. This writing course will cover all types of writing, but most of your assignments will be research and persuasive essays. We will go in depth on the process of crafting a research paper, indeed that's what we'll be spending most of the first half of the semester on. Later on in the year we will talk some about fiction writing and poetry.

"Sixty-five percent of your grade will consist of papers of all varieties, and some will count more than others. Fifteen percent of your grade will consist of class participation, and the remaining twenty percent will consist of exams, covering the writing process. You will not get an A in this class without participating. Although I won't be taking attendance, I expect you to show up and participate actively, despite it being an 8am class.

"Please take a syllabus and pass the rest around. You will notice that every Thursday you have a one page paper due. These papers are to be typed and double spaced. If you don't have a computer of your own, you can use one of the computer labs on campus. You do have a paper due this Thursday, a one page autobiography. Cover what you're majoring in, where you are from, etc. I want to get to know each of you and know each of your writing styles. These will be collected at the beginning of our class next Thursday.

"Today, we will start our instruction with how to write an outline for a narrative essay."

Harry had already realized he was going to have to invent an entire muggle history for himself, but didn't realize he would have to do it so quickly. By Thursday. By Thursday at 8am. When class was dismissed, he saw Lee waving at him.

"James! Come here. I want to introduce you to a couple of friends of mine from my church. Sarah, Jim, this is James. I met him at my orientation."

"Oh. Nice to meet you. I'm Sarah, and majoring in Religion."

"I'm Jim, I'm double majoring in Physics and Philosophy. Weird combo I know, but couldn't make up my mind between the two."

"Hi. I'm James, and I'm undecided right now. So you all go to the same Congregation?"

"Well, we did. We were all in our youth group together," explained Sarah. "I'm still going to try and get back while in college though. We might even start a campus small group!"

"Did you talk with Rev. Marti about that yet?"

She nodded at Lee. "She said she'd help us get it started and put us in touch with the UU seminary group here."

"Awesome."

The three of them talked some about church, although Harry could tell Jim wasn't as interested in the conversation as Lee and Sarah. Harry quietly followed them out of the building. "So, what classes are you taking?" asked Sarah after realizing Harry had been quiet for a while.

"This. Intro to Religion, then English, then Ceramics. Just getting some of the core classes out of the way while I try to figure out what I want to major in."

"He got into the Transcendentalist English class!" exclaimed Lee.

"I did too," beamed Sarah.

"You didn't tell me that!" exclaimed Lee.

"You never asked," retorted Sarah.

"What classes do you have next?" asked James.

"I've got a Philosophy class on the Existentialists," replied Jim.

"I've got a math class. Yuck!" exclaimed Sarah.

"James and me have Intro to Religion. Catch y'all later!" Harry and Lee veered off towards the Religions building for their lecture.

"So how was your charms class yesterday?"

"Horrible!" exclaimed James. "I think I might declare already."

"Wow. Quick."

"Absolutely. I don't think I need another class where I just memorize things. I have a feeling I'll have to do a lot of that in Arithmancy."

"Better you than me. I'd hate to be in that class."

"It was interesting, but it's going to be my toughest class. I know it. So why were you so late today?"

"Up late. Huge potions assignment due in our lab Wednesday. They really aren't taking it easy on us this first week."

"Yah."

"I gotta use the restroom. See you in there. Save me a seat."

"Sure thing Lee."

Harry made his way into a huge lecture room. It was the largest lecture hall he had ever been in. Since this was a required course for all freshmen, Harry assumed that made sense. The lecture hall easily sat 300 people. He made his way around the center, and found a couple seats open. Class began in three minutes, and it was already pretty full. After Harry settled in to his seat with a tiny desk, he saw Lee looking around and waved. Lee waved back, dodging traffic and made his way over to Harry and one of the few remaining empty seats in the hall.

A short woman with curly hair made her way towards the front of the hall. Harry looked down at her but couldn't get a great look at her from this far away. "Good morning everyone, and welcome to Intro to Religions. I'm Dr. Fishman, your professor. My TAs are handing out course syllabi, please take one and pass it to your right.

"This is a mandated course for all Freshmen, because Emory firmly believes you need to know how other people think and what they believe before you're set loose on the real world. By the end of the course, you will have a working knowledge of all the major religions in the world, and some not so major ones too. You'll learn some about the history of each religion, how they developed, their holy scriptures, and the culture of modern day adherents. We will have lots of guest speakers, and the occasional totally optional field trip.

"Three fourths of your grade in this class will be from tests and quizzes. The last quarter will be a research paper on any religion or religious sect with more than 50 adherents. This will be due the final week of class, and a more detailed assignment will be passed out in the coming weeks.

"So what is a religion? Such an easy question, such a difficult answer. If you ask five different scholars of religion, you'll get five different answers. The two main definitions we are going to start with is number one, a personal or institutionalized system grounded in the belief in and/or reverence for a supernatural power or powers, and number two, a set of beliefs, values, practices, and rituals based on the teachings of a spiritual leader.

"Indeed, what makes a religion has always been and will always be a hot button issue. If something isn't a recognized religion, is it a cult? What is a cult? How does religion differ from cult? Depending on your definitions, the lines can be drawn however you want.

"Definitions are going to be extremely important in our study this year. And we will attempt to define terms before we begin studying them in depth. And you simply might not agree with every definition I give you, and that's ok as long as you can explain them to me and justify your reasoning with me.

"At some point, we might very well study your personal religion. And we agree today, here and now, to examine religions with a critical eye. We want to explain the facts, the beliefs, the rituals. We aren't going to get in to the deep emotions behind these religions. No one will call any other religion a false religion in my class. We are here to learn about and learn from all religions. Whatever you believe is fine, but you will not bring up your personal beliefs on a religion on any test or discussion. By all means I love that you're passionate about your religion, but there's easily 20 different religions represented in this lecture hall right now, and we won't be offending any one else.

"We are going to study religions in a general chronological order of first appearance. This is not to say one is better than the other. We are simply going to study these in a chronological order, looking at beliefs, practices, values, rituals, holy scriptures, and history of these religions' development.

"Let's now define what we mean by belief, practice, ritual, holy scripture, and values."

—-

Dr. Fishman assigned the entire class some homework. First was to read in their books about historical Pagan religions, but the second part was to go on the Internet and take this quiz to see what religion you were most like. She didn't want to know, but she wanted each person to be aware of their own biases and the lens through which they would view the course material. Harry wrote down the internet address of the quiz. Harry thought the name of it was ridiculous, Belief-o-Matic, but knew he would take it despite the name. He would work on it later tonight.

"So, what do you have next?" asked Lee.

"I've got an hour lunch break, then English. You?"

"Gotta head straight to Chem. I'll catch you later!" Harry nodded, and the two parted ways.

Harry decided to hit up the muggle student center during his lunch break and grab a bite to eat there. He hadn't explored the muggle student center since his orientation, and he wanted to try to make his Tuesdays and Thursdays purely muggle - no skipping off to the magical library or magical Woodruff Hall or anything.

As he walked closer to the student center, he noticed a lot of tables set up. He glanced at the tables as he walked by and saw that they were for student organizations on campus. He didn't explore them too in depth during muggle orientation as he had been pretty tired by that point during the day. Nothing really caught his eye until he passed a table that had a poster hanging down saying "Run With Us." Intrigued, Harry headed over to the table. There was one person sitting behind the table and another in front of the table checking it out.

"Hi. So what's this about?" asked Harry.

"Oh! It's Running Club. It's not as serious as the Cross Country or Track teams. Just a club for folks that like running as a hobby or want to run with a group. I'm Susan Cartman, president of running club."

"I'm James Black."

"Freshman?"

"Yup."

"I'm a junior. And this is Chappell Baston, another Freshman checking out Running Club. I got that right, Chappell?"

"Yup. Hey. I'm a Poly Sci major. You?"

"Undecided so far." Chappell nodded. "So, if I join, what do I do?" asked Harry.

Susan beamed. "Well, our main thing is we have certain times to go running. We help you buddy up with other runners if you want. We'll have meetings where we talk about the best running form, best running shoes, and more. We only have official meetings once a month, but we have running groups multiple times a week."

"Cool," replied Chappell. "How do I sign up?"

"Just fill out this form. It asks what times work best for you and everything for a running group. Interested too James?"

"Sure. Why not." Harry grabbed one of the forms and filled it out too. He forgot his Emory email address, and had to pull out the address form from his backpack. He had figured out how to check it, and it seemed like it could be useful. After filling out the form, he headed back towards the student center.

"Hey man, wait up."

"Oh, hey Chappell."

"So, where are you from?"

"All over. Born in Britain, moved to Australia, now here. You?"

"South Georgia. I'm the only one from my county high school that made it in to Emory. I know next to no one. What dorm are you in?"

"Oh. I don't live in one."

"Off campus?" Harry nodded. "Oh, lucky!"

"I like it well enough. So, you said poly sci?"

"Yah. Political Science. Want to be a politician some day." He grinned. "So what classes are you taking?"

The two compared classes. They weren't in classes at the same time, although they did have some of the same courses. Harry and Chappell then headed to grab a bite to eat for lunch, and made tentative plans to meet up for lunch again on Thursday. (They each had an hour break at the same time.) They also made tentative plans to go running together Saturday morning. They would meet back at the student center then jog around campus. Before Harry knew it, it was time to head off to his English class.

Luckily, his English class wasn't too far from the student center. He arrived in the small classroom that looked to only seat twenty-five. It was his smallest class so far that day. It was about three quarters full when he arrived. The professor handed him a syllabus as he made his way to an empty seat.

At 1:05, the professor started. "Welcome to Freshmen English, with a course focus on the Transcendentalist movement. I'm Dr. Ben Hunter, and I for one am looking forward to this class. This is the first year we've been able to tailor Freshmen English classes around a certain theme or movement, and I've long since loved the Transcendentalists.

"Now, with this class, you can expect a lot of reading and a lot of writing. You'll have multiple papers, from responses to what you've read, to biographies of leading Transcendentalist thinkers, and more. Class participation counts a large portion of your grade, and there will be occasional tests and quizzes over what you've read.

"Today I will give you a brief introduction to what transcendentalism actually is. Many say transcendentalism is the first truly American literary and philosophical movement. It developed in the early 1800s in response to Enlightenment thought. But many scholars and Unitarian ministers rejected the hyper intellectualism of the day and thought the only way to get close to the divine was to experience it for themselves rather than simply hear about it. The sheer output of literary works in this time period from leading Transcendentalists is remarkable, and will give us plenty of authors and works to study."

Dr. Hunter spent the rest of the class giving a general lecture about the leading Transcendentalists they would be studying later. He assigned the class to read the first two chapters of American Transcendentalism: A History and be prepared for a class discussion on Thursday. Harry checked his notebook calendar of what all had been assigned so far for homework, and paled slightly. The workload was indeed quite a bit larger than it was back at Hogwarts.

Harry headed out to his last class of the day, Ceramics. Harry didn't know much about Ceramics before he signed up for the class, but realized it was a lot of pottery. He had laughed, loudly, when he realized he would be living up to his last name, the first genuine laugh he had had in ages. He arrived in the class and saw there was only room for 20 people in the class. There were ten raised black tables, each with a pair of stools at them. Harry sat down at an empty table. He assumed this meant he would be partnered up pretty frequently in the class.

"Hey. Mind if I sit here?"

"Sure." Harry noted the kind of awkward looking guy standing next to him. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and an awkwardly large grin.

"Thanks man. I'm Joey."

"James."

"So, looking forward to the class or will your eyes GLAZE over. Glaze? Get it?" Harry looked at Joey, slightly bewildered. "You know, glazing pottery? How you paint it? Come on…glaze over?"

Harry tried to manage a polite chuckle but in the end couldn't force it out. He was saved by the instructor walking to the front of the room. "Welcome to the world of ceramics! I'm Lucy Towbridge, but you can call me Lucy." Lucy looked to be in her late sixties, and walked with a cane. "I've been doing pottery for over thirty years. There's nothing as exciting as firing up that kiln to see how your pieces turned out. In this Ceramics 1 class, we're going to focus on hand molding, the wheel, and molds, of course alongside different glazing techniques. Now, Emory says I have to give you a test or two, so we'll have a couple of tests that talk about definitions and techniques, but pretty much all of your grade is based off the pieces you create. Now, for the rest of this semester, you will occasionally work as a team on different projects. And your team member is the person sitting next to you," at this, Harry had the sudden vision of a very long semester, "so get to know them well. You notice you didn't have a whole lot of books to buy for this class, but you will need to buy clay every now and then. We've got enough glazes to hold you over, but you can certainly buy your own and stow them. Each student in here will have one of these gray lockers to store your materials. Might want to get a lock for them while I'm thinking about it.

"There's no better time like the present to start. I want one person from each table to hop on up here and get a packet of this modeling clay. I want each of you to make something out of this clay with hand molding. Then we'll talk about the entire glazing process, which takes longer than you might think."

"I'll go get it," said Joey. And before Harry could reply, Joey had hopped up, literally, to the front and got a container of clay. The teacher laughed and sent Joey back to the seat.

"So, what are you going to make?" asked Joey.

Harry shrugged. He had no idea. "No clue. You?"

"I think a cross. Majoring in Religion you know."

"Uh, no I didn't."

"Oh. I thought I said that. Anyway, yes, I'm majoring in religion. Don't know what I'll do with it, but should be pretty interesting at least!"

Harry nodded. "The Intro class today was pretty good."

"Oh? Who do you have? I've got it on Monday, Wednesday, Fridays."

"Dr. Fishman."

"Me too. She is pretty good! So, what are you?"

"Undecided."

"I meant what religion are you?"

"Oh. The same I suppose. Not really sure."

"Catholic here. Hence the cross. But I'm not that intense. Hmm. Maybe I should flatten out the cross some." Joey had already made a basic cross, and Harry hadn't even started tinkering with his clay yet.

Thinking back to his Sunlight Sunflowers, Harry decided to try and fashion the head of the sunflower. He tried making small talk with Joey, but really got in to trying to form the individual petals. Lucy, the instructor, came over and praised both of their works, and showed Joey how he could draw in extra detail with one of the small metal tools. By the end of class, they had completed their hand moldings and put on a shelf to air dry. Hopefully they would be dry enough to go through their first firing on Thursday, so they could glaze it and fire it next Tuesday and get them back next Thursday. Harry enjoyed the class, and after saying goodbye to Joey, headed back to his car to head home. Harry decided he would try to do more pottery. Something about it seemed right to him, and really relaxed him.

—-

Harry got home and after checking up on his garden, decided to make himself dinner. He saw a great recipe for grilled chicken, but didn't have a grill. He decided over the weekend he'd go buy a grill from somewhere. He instead steamed up some veggies and put them over some rice. A light dinner, but if he got hungry later he could make himself something fancier.

He eyed his notebook calendar, already beginning to get filled rather alarmingly. He needed a better way to keep track of his schedule, because he suddenly had club meetings, homework, tests, and more to keep track of. He decided to head down to the office supply store in his neighborhood to see if they had something better than his paper calendar. He walked away with something called a Palm Pilot. Although it took half an hour, the staff at the store showed him how to use it correctly. It could sync with his laptop and the calendar on there. Harry knew the Palm Pilot wouldn't work well in a magical environment, but on Mondays and Wednesdays he would write it all down on paper and transcribe the events/assignments when he got back home.

He spent the next half hour inputting all of his classes and setting up a general calendar. He put in all the assignments he knew about, and combed through his course syllabi for any testing dates or major paper due dates to add in. Harry glanced at the clock, noting it was 7:00, and decided to get to work on what he thought would be the most difficult, the page long autobiographical essay. He figured it would take more time since he would have to make it all up. Harry walked over to his laptop and began typing slowly. He still wasn't typing quickly yet, but hoped he would soon get the hang of it.

—-

I was born in 1980 in Great Britain. I assume most of my early life was normal, but I have very few memories. When I was young, some members of my family were killed in a terrible accident. My parents were crushed, and had to get away. Luckily, at my father's company, they were starting a factory in Australia, so we moved there.

I was home schooled because the kids at my school treated me oddly, being from a different country and all. I had a gift for athletics, and wanted to play football for my local school. But in the end, they wouldn't let the rules slide, and ended up playing for a club. Out of the classes I took, I always liked math the best. I started to get some really good friends, and started to come out of my shell.

Just over a year ago, my parents died in another accident alongside a couple of good friends of mine. I was crushed. It seemed like everyone I knew died or was seriously injured. I didn't know who I was after the accident, and I felt like I had to leave. I traveled to America and decided to stay here. I bought a house with the leftovers from my inheritance and decided to go to Emory, more because I wasn't sure what to do with myself than because I was really interested. But I've grown used to the idea, and want to do my best in whatever I end up trying to do in my future life.

I still miss my old life in some regards, but I'm much more excited about the future than the past. I hope I can live life to the fullest from here on out. I've discovered I really enjoy gardening, working out, and pottery. Who knows what else I'll discover while at Emory that I enjoy? Whatever my future career is, it would not mean much to me if I did not help people in some way.

—-

Harry thought it was good enough, so he connected it to the printer and sent the paper off to be printed. He decided to check his email and already had an email from the Running Club welcoming him to the group, and suggested he check out a running group on Saturday Mornings. Thinking that was when he agreed to meet Chapell, Harry figured it was a good idea.

Since Harry was already on the computer, he decided to take that quiz assigned to him during Intro to Religion, the Belief-o-Matic quiz.

The quiz asked him a lot of questions about his beliefs, and some questions he had to research before answering as he had never heard of some of the things they were asking. When Harry was finished, he hit submit and had it print the results. He read through the results and didn't really know much about his top choices.

Unitarian Universalism - 95%

Neo-Pagan - 88%

Mahayana Buddhism - 87%

Quaker - 82%

Liberal Protestant-79%

And the list continued down from there. Harry shrugged - he recognized the first one from Lee's church, but other than that knew nothing about them. Maybe he would have to take Lee up on the offer to take Harry with him some day to his congregation. Harry shut down his laptop, collected the papers from the printer, and headed off to read some in his history of Transcendentalism book.


	9. Chapter 9 ELVES and News from Britain

Chapter 9

A/N: All this stuff belongs to JK. I'm just using it to have some fun. Things are starting to roll. Enjoy, and if you're liking it, leave a comment! I think I'm finally starting to get out of the intro and get into some of why I was writing this in the first place.

Harry walked out alongside Ashley after their Arithmancy course. "So James," began Ashley, "Off to Charms lab?"

Harry shook his head. After another incredibly boring charms class, Harry had decided to switch his major. He couldn't stand the thought of being in those classes for the next four years. Right after Charms he marched into Dr. Naomi's office and filled out the Major Declaration Form and his schedule had automatically adjusted. No more Charms lab, and his Charms class was now Transfiguration Ethics. "I decided after Charms earlier today to declare. I'm now a Transfiguration major with an Arithmancy minor. If only I knew what to do with my Muggle program-"

Harry was interrupted by an awkwardly loud shout from Ashley. Harry turned his head and stared at her. "What? I'm excited. That mean you're in Ethics now too?"

Harry nodded. "That I am."

"Oh! You need to get caught up-"

"-Dr. Naomi said she'd help-" Harry tried to interrupt but Ashley kept on like she hadn't heard him.

"-I was going to meet up with Suzyn to talk about Ethics tonight anyways! You have to come!"

"Well…" Harry tried to stall. He had been planning on going back home and resting.

"You can study with us and then we can all go to the first meeting of ELVES."

"Oh, that tonight?" asked Harry.

"Yes! Did you not see the notice? Again?"

Harry shook his head. "I gotta start checking out those posters before I walk in."

"Well, now you'll be spending a lot of time in the Transfiguration building with us! We'll be able to point them out. Come on, we've got one of the study rooms in the library reserved for us."

"I think I might need something to drink first."

"Oh! Each of the study rooms has a coffee maker of course. Come on silly. Lets go!" Ashley grabbed his hand and led him off to the library. Harry tried to put up a little resistance, but he did need to get caught up in the class. And he figured he probably ought to meet more people majoring in Transfiguration, since he'd have a lot of classes with them in the future.

The two of them entered the library, and after showing their ID cards to the witch in the entryway (they were careful about security with so many visitors coming to use the library) they were allowed in. The library had a total of 8 floors with study rooms on each floor. They organized the library by floors. The bottom two floors were all for studying or research. The upper floors were organized by subjects - one floor for transfiguration, charms, potions/herbology, arithmancy/runes/creatures, history/culture, and the very top floor with the rarest of books in the collection (which had their own security measures. Books were not allowed out of the top floor.)

Harry followed Ashley to the second floor in study room 2-E. Another girl was already in the room. She was a little shorter and a little wider than Harry, with brown hair that came down to the middle of her back. She was wearing muggle clothes with a crooked witch's hat with a neon purple glowing monkey on the top. Harry blinked a couple of times at her before sitting down.

"Get the coffee started Suzyn?"

"Of course. Who's this?" she asked pointedly, looking at James.

"Oh. James, meet Suzyn Smyth-Webb. Suzyn, this is James Black. James just switched his major from being undecided to Transfiguration."

"Oh. I thought you looked familiar. You're in intro, right?"

Harry nodded. "I didn't see your hat there though."

She looked puzzled. "You have an accent." She made it sound like it was an accusation against Harry.

It was Harry's turn to look puzzled. "Uh, yes."

"That means you aren't from here. I'm not either. I'm from Virginia!"

"That's…nice."

"Where are you from?"

"Oh. A little of everywhere. Britain and Australia mostly."

She looked like she wanted to challenge him on that assertion, but Ashley asked where the coffee was and started serving everyone a cup. "So how do you two know each other?" asked Harry.

They shrugged. "Met up in Ethics."

"James and me met in orientation. He's got Dr. Naomi for an adviser!"

"Lucky!" exclaimed Suzyn. "She's so awesome. I've got a total girl crush on her." Harry wasn't quite sure if she meant girl crush in the same way he interpreted it, but didn't want to ask any follow up questions. After Harry saw the monkey on her hat start drooling little purple strings and stare at the coffee, Harry decided it was time to change the subject to why they were there.

"So, tell me about the ethics class."

Suzyn rolled her eyes and drank some more of her coffee while Ashley lit up. "It's GREAT! So interesting. So many things could go wrong with transfigurations and so many laws about it. It's fascinating."

Harry turned to Suzyn. "You don't think it's interesting?"

"I didn't say that."

"I know, but your reaction…"

"Oh. Yes."

Harry waited for her to elaborate, but nothing was coming. Ashley cleared her throat and Harry turned back to face her. "So, the first day was just an intro to the class. Several guest speakers are going to come, especially when we get in to the actual laws about Transfiguration in America. And there are a handful. Mostly about not killing people with Transfiguration or trying to pass anything off that's transfigured as something permanent. That's fraud. I already knew that. A third of the grade is tests, a third is essays, and the other third is participation."

Harry nodded. "I saw. Dr. Naomi gave me a syllabus earlier."

"Oh," replied Suzyn, causing Harry to jump slightly. He had almost forgotten she was there, as she was being so quiet during Ashley's talk. The monkey had stopped drooling little purple strings everywhere, but it's mouth looked to be suspiciously wet. Harry turned back to face Ashley.

"Today we talked about the ethics of transfiguring anything edible. The only thing thats somewhat safe is transfiguring something edible into something else that's edible. But if you know the person is a vegetarian and you transfigure, I don't know, a hamburger into a lettuce, then that's not ethical."

"The main lesson," added Suzyn, "was beyond that example. It was mostly about how if you transfigure something edible from something non-edible, it could kill the person eating it. Like, if I tried to transfigure a chair into a glass of water. If you drank that water, the water would eventually lose its transfiguration if I ever stopped putting energy in to maintain the transfiguration. Then that water, which had been absorbed by the body, would revert back to it's chairdom and you'd be pretty effectively dead."

Harry blinked. He had never thought about the dangers of that. "But I've seen people create tea sets from thin air."

Ashley replied, "No way."

Harry nodded. "And we drank from it and everything was fine."

"How?" she asked.

Harry opened his mouth to reply but it was Suzyn's voice. "I bet one of four things happened - they transfigured it from air so when it dissipated it simply turned into air so it would be absorbed by the body, but I don't know if that would work, they transfigured it from something edible, the person who created that tea was pretty powerful and kept the transfiguration going for a long time, or most likely the person cast the stasis charm on it."

"The what?" asked Harry.

"Oh," replied Ashley. "I should have thought of that. The stasis charm. It's a charm specifically designed for conjured food. You end up not getting any sort of nutritional benefit from the food, but it's comforting and seems filling, but passes out of the system whole. Assuming they don't cast the counterspell at your stomach. They didn't do that, did they?"

"Uh, no."

"Well, we're going to talk more about that on Friday. This was just the first day of the ethics of food. But we've got readings to do, answer might be in there," Ashley said.

"Oh. I gotta a copy of those books." Harry looked at his watch. It was 4:30. "Think the bookstore is still open?"

"I think so," Ashley replied.

"I'll go pop over to check."

"You do realize you're in a library that most likely has a copy of the book," Suzyn reminded.

Harry blushed slightly. "Well, I want a copy to write in."

Suzyn nodded. "I do the same. Well, be off then, see you soon."

Harry nodded, choosing to walk to the bookstore instead of apparting in. He needed a minute to process that conversation.

—

By 6:00, Harry had a pretty good understanding of the first two classes of Transfiguration Ethics, indeed, he had already finished the homework assignment that was due on Friday. It involved a lot of grotesque brainstorming of things that could go wrong with edible to edible transfigurations, and some of the ideas the three of then had come up with were slightly, ok, extremely, unrealistic. But the assignment didn't ask for plausible possibilities.

It took Harry a bit to get comfortable with Suzyn - she put off this awkward, aloof act, but Harry saw it was just an act for when she didn't feel comfortable. He assumed meeting someone new for the first time counted as a time she didn't feel comfortable.

At 6:00 they packed up and headed over to Woodruff Hall. Suzyn was also interested in joining ELVES. Ashley said she had plans to meet up with Lee there, straight out of his Potions lab. Assuming he didn't manage to blow up the Potions Lab he was in.

The meeting room was on the third floor with the other organization meeting rooms. Right as they climbed up the steps, they saw the room for the meeting. There was a big banner hanging on the door with a pretty good drawing of a house elf. Under the elf, the banner said Emory Loves Volunteering Everywhere Society with the capital letters all lined up.

When they walked in, there was pizza and soft drinks. Suzyn let out a noise that Harry could only describe as a happy sound, and made a bee line for the pizza. Harry grabbed a couple of slices and a can of Coke and sat down. There were about ten other students in the room with them. Ashley soon joined them, dragging Lee along.

"Lee, you know Suzyn?"

Lee waved. "Hi. I'm Lee."

"Yes. You're also in Intro to Transfiguration."

"Nice, uh, hat."

She nodded and ate another slice of pizza. Harry saw out of the corner of his eye Lee looking slightly bewildered, but soon got dragged into a conversation with Ashley.

At about 6:15, the meeting got started. "Good evening, I'm Joanna Fountain, the Chief Elf, that's what we call president of The ELVES. I'm a Senior majoring in Transfiguration. Good to see so many here, particularly you freshmen. Why don't we go around and everyone introduce themselves. Say your name, your major, your year, and your favorite animal."

Lee let out a small gasp of shock when Harry introduced himself as a Transfiguration Major with the Phoenix being his favorite animal (Harry assumed the shock was at the major part, not the Phoenix part.) When the introductions had finished, Head Elf Joanna got back to talking.

"So, let's go over what we do as a club. We have weekly meetings, same time, same place, with food. We chat and talk about any upcoming volunteer projects.

"We have some regular volunteer projects and some projects that we get asked to help with on occasion. Our biggest regular volunteer project is a tutoring program we do over at Marietta Magical. A couple of you freshmen look familiar from those sessions. We have folks go over every day Monday through Thursday and on Saturdays to help tutor folks in whatever subjects you feel comfortable with. Sometimes you might even get paired up with a teacher there to help with demonstrations or help with general classroom stuff. There's a staff person at MMM who organizes all the volunteering, Ms. Riley. She's great. If you're interested at all in volunteering with the tutoring program, and I hope you will, fill out one of the purple forms before you go. It asks about what subjects you think you could tutor, your availability, and more. You can either drive there or floo over.

"We have a regular volunteer project with Project Open Hand. It's a muggle organization that helps feed folks with terminal illnesses. We go once a month on Saturdays and help cook. It's a blast, and really popular. Space is limited to 20 folks though. Since it's muggle, we have to carpool over. We meet here then carpool over.

"We get a lot of requests to help with various projects, from helping the staff here at Emory to helping at the Atlanta Herbological Gardens. These tend to be pretty fun, as long as we get enough folk there to help.

"With that out of the way, chat with each other! We'll be back here next week, and don't forget to fill out a purple form if you want to help tutor. I'll go ahead and pass them out."

Harry took one of the forms and thought about volunteering. He noticed Lee and Ashley quickly filling out theirs, with Suzyn unsure. "I think I'll hold off for a couple weeks, then make up my mind," she told Harry after his inquisitive look. She got up and wondered around, talking to another witch that was also wearing a big black pointed hat (without a big purple monkey on it, of course.)

Ashley nudged Harry with her elbow. "Come on James. It's fun, the kids are great, I know because I was one." She grinned. "You aren't committing by filling out the form. Come on! Me and Lee are going to go. I'm going to help out a couple times a week - I hope I get paired with one of my old teachers. That'd be so neat!"

Harry checked that he'd be willing to tutor kids in Transfiguration and Defense or help out in the classrooms if needed. He thought about the times, and put down Wednesday and Saturday afternoons. Getting rid of his Charms lab certainly freed up some time in his schedule, but he really wouldn't have much time on Tuesdays or Thursdays. And he had Arithmancy Club Thursday nights too. He jotted down his contact info, and decided to hold off making anymore weekly commitments for now, at least for the next couple of weeks so he could get used to his schedule. Harry and Ashley passed Lee their forms, and Lee took them back up to the front table, adding them to the small stack already there.

Ashley asked Lee and Harry if they wanted to go bowling in the Muggle student center, but Lee said he had too much homework to work through, and Harry was getting pretty tired. He made an excuse that he had to work on something for his English class the next day, and headed back home.

Harry was surprised at how many people he had met so far. Part of him wondered what would happen if they ever discovered who he really was. Would they treat him any differently if they knew he was Harry Potter? Well, the muggles wouldn't know anything, but how would the magical students react to his fame? How would any of them react if they knew he just left his old life behind to start over? Would they think he was a coward like Hermione did?

Harry knew he did the right thing in leaving. He was absolutely certain of it. So if he was so certain, did it matter what would happen if he was found out? In a way, it would be inevitable that someone would find out something at some point. Harry just hoped that it would be a long time in the future. He was still too raw.

Yes, the classes were a much better distraction than he had expected. Going to a university to keep studying was a right decision. Harry had been so distracted the past couple of days, weeks if you include all the preparations, he wasn't able to spend too much time worrying and obsessing over Britain. Indeed, he hadn't thought of it at all lately.

In some manner, he did want to forget it all. Wouldn't it be easier if he did forget it all? All the deaths. Seeing Dobby blasted away into nothingness. Seeing all those in the final battle die. Seeing himself die, or mostly die. Harry stopped that line of thought; he knew he wasn't ready to deal with that yet.

But if he forgot everything, he would forget not only all of those he lost, but he would lose himself too. If he forgot all those he lost, wouldn't it in a way be the final nail in their coffins? Harry knew there was some kind of after life after meeting Dumbledore again, but was it all in his head? Did he go elsewhere? If he forgot about those folks, would they disappear into some void? And if he forgot about his past, all the pain, he wouldn't be who he was today. Try as he might to act like someone else, when he closes his eyes at night he knows who he truly is. He's a confused 18 year old who had to grow up far too quickly and experience far too much pain for someone his age. But without that pain, he never would have arrived in America to find himself. He wouldn't be who he was today - sure life might be more carefree if he did lose himself completely in his new life, but it wouldn't be authentic.

He didn't yet know how he could bridge the two worlds, his old world and the new one he was creating for himself. But he knew at some point he'd need to bridge the gap. But it wasn't yet the time or the place.

Harry pulled in to his driveway. What would his old friends think about his life now, assuming they could move past the guilt trips for leaving. Would they be happy he wasn't about to crack? Harry hadn't let them know how close he was to being broken; he tried to hide it from all of them. Hermione saw just a little bit of it at the airport. He didn't remember all of that horrid conversation; he was in no good state of mind to be remembering much of anything around that time. But surely she would be happy he was in college and actually taking his studies seriously.

Ron wouldn't. He'd probably be jealous that Harry had a house, a car all of his own. He'd probably tell Harry to join the college Quidditch team and make a go of being pro - probably not even bother with college. He would be horrified at how seriously he was taking his studies.

Ginny. His now former love. What would she think about everything? He hoped she would be happy for him, but would she be happy that he had an entire life she wasn't a part of? Would that little girl he saved from Tom Riddle back in the Chamber of Secrets be happy that he didn't want to save anyone anymore? Harry was even worried about possibly tutoring someone else in defense. He would have to be on guard against flashbacks, and even then, would he be able to not blast some little kid in to oblivion instead of showing him how to do the spell properly? But it might be good for him to take all that defense he had to use…or die…and put it to a good use. Well, saving Britain was a pretty good use, but the deaths. He did enjoy teaching the DA, true, but would it translate well into helping with a classroom or helping one on one with a student? Only time would tell.

Harry got out of the car, grabbed his backpack, and headed inside. He would check the garden tomorrow. That's something that would baffle everyone - he could see the headline in the Daily Prophet now. "Harry Potter follows in Dumbledore's footsteps and picks a hobby no one can understand." He wondered what they were saying about his disappearance - surely it had been noticed by now by the greater wizarding world. How were they doing at setting up a new magical government over there? Probably Chappell, the political science major, would be interested in how to restart a government that had completely failed. But Harry wasn't. He figured they would try to draft him into helping if he had stayed. And Harry had enough of politics after seeing the utter failures of the former Ministry of Magic.

But Harry was curious about his former home. He glanced at the clock and popped over to Five Points Alleys. He went into the bookstore, knowing they carried a selection of magical news papers from all around the world. He saw the Daily Prophet and grabbed a copy.

"Interested in what's happening across the pond?" asked the cashier as Harry went to pay.

Harry shrugged. "It's for a class."

The cashier nodded. "Hope they recover. That'll be two dollars even."

Harry nodded and paid the cashier and decided to immediately apparate back home. He didn't want to read it in public, for he was worried that a) he might break down and b) someone would try to piece together his look and the paper he bought, and make the connection he was now in America. Harry didn't even glance at the front page until he was safely back in his television room, cuddled up on one of his couches.

Harry had good reason to wait until he got home to read the paper. The huge headline covered a good quarter of entire front page. "Tensions rise between Ministry of Magic and Gringotts." Harry of course wondered what was going on and read the article written by Floris Happentrap.

"Tensions between the Ministry and Gringotts have escalated to a point never seen before in this witch's lifetime. The Ministry of Magic, in their attempts to find Harry Potter, savior of Wizarding Britain, have focused their keen eyes on Gringotts. Surely Mr. Potter must be using his vault to stay alive, if at all. But those dirty goblins refused to even discuss the possibility of sharing the possible whereabouts of Mr. Potter and refused to release a statement of recent withdrawals.

"Honestly, it's not that unreasonable of a request," said undersecretary for Goblin Affairs, Walker Snippet. "Yes, it's not covered in the most recent treaty, but this is a desperate measure. We simply don't know if Harry Potter is alive or has been captured by more sinister elements. We need to know."

Gringotts, when reached for comment, glowered at this fair reporter and a goblin told her that she was to mind her own business. We can only assume that goblins are part of a larger plot to abduct the Boy who Lived.

Mr. Potter's friends, however, aren't sure. When reached for comment, Ronald Weasley, son of the prohibitive favorite to become the next Minister of Magic, suggested that Harry had been forced out of the country against his will. However, his fiance Hermione Granger disagreed, saying he chose to leave and start life again. Ginny Weasley, known to be Harry Potter's girlfriend, was unavailable for comment and still refusing to cooperate with the Ministry in their righteous investigation. Is she part of the plot against Harry Potter too?

We will never know until those goblins come clean. Will this be the first step into another Goblin rebellion? Is our gold safe with these goblins? Only time will tell. For further coverage of the recent escalation, including a fold out timeline, see pages 4 through 8."

Harry was shaking with anger. Ron knew why he left; Harry had spelled it out clear as day in the letter he had sent. Had Britain become mad since he left, or were they always this crazy? Harry figured on the latter, but he knew what he had to do. He didn't want the goblins getting any flack from his departure - they were protecting him at great costs.

Harry drafted a letter.

"To the Daily Prophet. This is Harry Potter, and I'm including a magical signature to confirm this is me. Any charms expert can tell you that this particular magical signature can not be applied under duress. I mention this to reiterate that this is indeed me, and I write this letter willingly and contains nothing but the truth. I expect this to be run in its entirety and I will know if it hasn't. If it is not run in its entirety, I will simply cease all contact with wizarding Britain for the rest of my natural life. I am serious.

Now, as to these recent troubles. We all ought to be commending the integrity of Gringotts, who are at great cost upholding both the letter and the spirit of countless treaties with the Ministry of Magic. To hear the Ministry pressuring the noble Goblins brings great trouble. Is Britain already sliding down the path that led to our more recent Civil War?

I am not only safe, I am thriving. I chose to leave Britain because I was quite tired of this. I want to return to life as a private citizen - well, return isn't the right word as I've never been a private citizen. My entire life has been broadcast in the paper, everyone knows my name and has countless expectations for their so called Boy who Lived. I am not being held against my will by any one or any thing.

I am happy with my life. If you've ever wished for something for the Boy who Lived, wish me happiness. I think I've deserved a shot at a normal life, a life free of obligations. Will I ever return to Britain? I might very well, but not until I'm fully healed from the wounds that tore my soul into pieces. The war was hard on everyone, yes, but surely you can admit that it was quite possibly the hardest on me. I need to heal, I need to find some peace. And I can't do that knowing the leadership and quite possibly the general public of Wizarding Britain would choose to ignore the expressed wishes and desires of the Boy who Lived. Countless lives were sacrificed for us to return to a normal way of life - let me figure out what my normal way of life is.

I do not want letters.

I do not want more newspaper articles written about me.

I do not want the Ministry to be worried about protecting me from myself.

I want peace, quiet, and a chance to live my life.

Let the Boy who Lived live in peace.

Sincerely, Harry Potter."

Harry next needed a way to send the letter without it coming from Atlanta or be able to be traced back to Atlanta. He was totally unsure how he should go about doing this.

He decided to pop over to the magical Post Office on Five Points Alleys and ask if there was a way. It turned out that there was a way for a letter to be sent with a different postmark. It would cost double, and the post office would send the letter to be magically stamped with the post mark from Salem, Massachusetts. (It turned out this was a popular thing to do during the holidays.) Harry paid extra and it was sent off with the expected arrival date in London Friday morning.

—

Harry had a fairly typical day of classes on Thursday. At the end of his ceramics class, where he hand crafted a flame, he headed off to the Arithmancy building for the Arithmancy Study Club meeting. He saw Ashley walking a little bit ahead of him and jogged to catch her. And to jog away from Joey, who had the oddest sense of humor.

"Hey Ashley."

"Hey James. You look exhausted. You ok?"

Harry blinked. It had been a long night, but he didn't think anyone had noticed. He spent most of the night worrying about the events unfolding in Britain and then realized he had to study. He got to sleep somewhere around 2am, and was regretting it ever since.

"Long night."

"Oh?"

"Yah. Already falling behind in my schoolwork." Harry figured this would be a safe excuse.

"I told you you were crazy for taking so many classes."

"Yah yah."

"So, ready for the test tomorrow!"

"I thought it was just a quiz-"

"-Close enough! First one. I have to do well or I'll just be so angry with myself. It should be easy though, I learned all of this last year in Arithmancy."

"Well, some of us weren't so lucky."

She cringed. "Oh. Sorry. That sounded pretty terrible, didn't it."

Harry waved it off. "It's ok. I think I got most of it down, but could use some quizzing. How many people will be there you think?"

"Well, the over all club is open to all years. But we then split into years and study together. Every now and then they even have special seminars! Oh I can not WAIT for the first one."

The two of them continued to make small talk as they entered the room that served as the initial meeting point for Arithmancy Study Club. He spotted just a couple of folk from his Intro to Arithmancy class. Looked to be about five freshmen. His guess was spot on as they headed to their individual classes.

The first task was to elect a study leader, which Ashley won easily, and had apparently campaigned for in advance because it was unanimous. She immediately led the group of five in rapid fire quizzes on the material that was supposed to be quizzed on the next day. Harry was the weakest initially, but by the end of the class he was getting each of the theorems and postulates correct.

Harry was pretty hungry after the study club.

"Hey Study Leader?"

Ashley turned to Harry and grinned. "Yes James?"

"Next time would it kill ya to get some snacks or something?"

"I'll check and see if we can. Hungry?"

"Yes."

"Me too. Let's get a bite to eat at Woodruff."

"Ok, sure."

The two of them closed up the room and headed a couple of buildings over to Woodruff Hall. The dining hall opened from 6am to midnight, but the menu changed based off what time of day it was. They were in post dinner time, which meant mostly snacks with some heavier food.

Harry grabbed a slice of pizza and a big fruit salad with a coke and headed over to pay. Ashley had zoomed ahead and already grabbed a table by the windows. There were about fifty tables in the dining hall, although they were never completely full. There were only about a dozen students there now, no one that Harry recognized though.

"So, what's on your mind James?"

Harry didn't want to share his real concerns. So he made one up. "My ceramics class. I really love it, and I keep wanting to do more."

"Oh. You're really getting in to that? You sound like my mother."

"Hey!"

"Sorry! It's true though. She loves ceramics. Goes to Hype's all the time."

"Goes where?"

"Hype's. Suppose you haven't been there yet."

"Never heard of it. Is Hype a person you know?"

"Oh, no. It's a magical art studio."

"I didn't see it at Five Points."

"Oh, it's not there. It's in the Decatur area. Calmer out there than at Five Points, and some of those artsy people want total solitude to create stuff."

"What's your mom do there?"

"Little bit of everything. They have classes there all the time she takes. They do have a couple pottery wheels and everything. You should check it out. I bet you can do all kinds of stuff there that you can't do in your muggle class. Bet you couldn't paint a moving picture on to a plate there."

Harry laughed. "Probably not. Might be a little suspicious. I'll have to check it out sometime. When I have time. Any idea when that might be?"

"Hah. It's your own fault for taking so many classes. I TOLD YOU."

"Yah, yah."

"I mean, you don't even know what you want your muggle major to be and-"

"-I get it Ashley. Thanks. I thought you would want people to take a lot of classes."

"Not if it means you never have a life. I mean, I like studying-"

"-Love-" Harry interrupted.

"Fine, love it. But I still want to get out every now and then."

"Ah. Bowling."

She nodded. "We gotta take you out. I'll get Carolyn to help."

"But I don't have the time."

"Yes you do. We're going out Saturday night. Even if you're busy, you can still schedule time for fun James. I'm sure Carolyn has some ideas of what to do."

"Just no parties at my place yet."

"Yet?"

Harry pondered that slip of the tongue. "Give it a few weeks. I still need to get comfortable with all of this," Harry waved his hand around, "before I totally feel comfortable having people over."

"Ok, don't hate me, but I'm dying to know why."

Harry couldn't share the real reasons. He was still afraid of getting that close to anyone because he still worried Voldemort would target them. And if he let someone get too close, they might discover who he truly was. He would need the time to comb through his house and hide anything that might reflect who he was at all. Ashley still looked at him, hoping he would answer.

"Well," began Harry, "it's tough to talk about. My parents…used to throw a lot of parties. The accident they were in happened when they were on their way home from a party at a friend's house. So I think in the back of my mind, that's what I'm worried about."

Harry felt pretty guilty at the flat out lie to Ashley, who suddenly looked pretty sheepish and muttered what sounded like a sincere apology. But Harry was beating himself up too much to hear what she had actually said. He wanted to tell the truth, but he still hardly knew her, but look at her face, clearly she was considering him to be a friend. The lies were really starting to weigh heavily on him. He needed to talk to someone, somewhere about all of it.

And there was only one person who knew the entire story aside from Harry, Dr. Naomi. The next day he would ask to talk with her after his first Ethics class. Maybe she would be able to help.


	10. Chapter 10 Authenticity

Chapter 10 - Authenticity

A/N: I might write that special edition of the Daily Prophet one day, but that day is not today. (If I do, I'll post it as a separate story.) None of this belongs to me. Feel free to leave a review (please!) or shoot me a private message! (Got my first one of those yesterday.)

Harry woke up to a thunderbolt. A literal thunderbolt at about 6am in the morning shook his house and caused him to bolt out of bed. He still hadn't gotten used to the thunderstorms that popped out from the middle of nowhere. The weather back in Britain was rainy, yes, but not nearly this dramatic with the rain. Harry knew he had no hope of getting back to sleep, especially after another bolt caused him to jump a foot off the bed. He scrambled up and headed down stairs to turn the TV on to a morning news show.

Turns out they were under a Severe Thunderstorm Warning. He could tell it was a pretty bad storm…perhaps turning on the TV to the weather report wasn't as helpful as he originally anticipated it would be. Rolling his eyes at his earlier jumpiness, he pondered what to do with the morning. He decided to cram a little more for that Arithmancy quiz later in the day. But first he needed some coffee.

He pondered his day as he waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Within a month he had converted from tea to coffee - his friends in Britain would be astonished. Britain. He realized the Daily Prophet would get his letter today. When would they publish it? Would they send it out with the paper today? The paper had probably already been printed today. They would probably wait until the weekend. He would need to brace himself emotionally for it - they might print other articles alongside it that would be tough for him to read.

Harry poured a cup of coffee before the coffee had even finished completely brewing. After adding in some sugar and cream, he headed to his study and sat down in one of the chairs by the bookshelves. He would continue cramming after the coffee took effect. He tried to clear his mind from the thoughts of Britain and tried to focus on what he had to get done that day. It did little to help.

After his second cup of coffee, he grabbed his flashcards for the Arithmancy theorems and began quizzing himself. On the first run through, he only missed one. Nodding in satisfaction, he flipped through them a couple more times before putting them back into his backpack. He had promised Ashley the two of them could cram together after Ethics and before Arithmancy.

He decided to check over his Palm Pilot for his schedule and assignments. It was too early to get into that reading for his Transcendentalism class - that stuff would put him right back to sleep. Harry decided to sit outside on his patio and watch the sun rise and relax a bit as much as he could. He would need it later.

Harry sat back and drank some more from his cup of coffee. He couldn't get Britain out of his mind, mostly the huge discrepancy between his life now and what his life might have been like if he had stayed. He knew there would be innumerable expectations placed on his shoulders if he had decided to stay there. He would have been expected to live a certain way, have a wife and kids as quickly as possible, and more. And every minute of it would have been in the press.

But wasn't he living a lie? He was sitting on the patio of his own house drinking a cup of coffee, without another magical person for miles. He was on his own, he could do or not do whatever he wanted. He went from a life planned for him to a life with no manual for what to do next.

Harry wondered if that was why college appealed to him. He had classes, he had a routine to follow. Sure there was more freedom for him, but it still had structure. Something to do with his time. He had so much more freedom in America, but was it a false freedom? It was freedom as long as he didn't use his real name. It still took him a brief second to realize when someone called out James, they meant him.

Harry flashed back to the resurrection stone, now somewhere hopefully hidden in the Forbidden Forest. Although he never would, what if he used it right now. What would all of those who died in the Battle of Hogwarts have to say about his decision? Would they think he ran or would they be happy for him? What would his parents say? Was he acting like a Gryffindor? Hadn't he acted like a Gryffindor enough?

Harry wondered how some of his old friends were doing, from Ron to Hermione to Neville to Ginny. Neville had gotten one of the letters he sent out at Diagon Alley - Harry was sure Neville would be shocked that Harry had taken up gardening. Even if they weren't happy, surely they would understand why. Would he ever go back to see them? Would they try to hunt him down? If Hermione truly launched a search effort, wouldn't she be able to find out he at least flew to Atlanta? What would he say if he saw her again before he was healed?

Healed. Harry knew he needed to continue to heal, but had he even started healing? Was he just distracting himself instead of processing everything he had been through?

The sun broke over the horizon through the clouds. It was time for Harry to get back to his morning routine.

—

Harry hoped Ashley wouldn't be this…insane….before every test or quiz they had. He hoped it was just nervousness over the first quiz in any of the classes, because all she wanted to do was study during lunch and wanted to do a quick review after Transfiguration Ethics. Lee and Carolyn were bored out of their minds during lunch, but promised to get even during their first potions test. Harry was pretty sure Ashley never heard their complaints. But they were game for hanging out Saturday. They would meet at Woodruff Hall at 3pm and decide what to do from there, but Harry had a feeling Carolyn was already plotting their afternoon out.

Harry walked with Ashley to Transfiguration Ethics, meeting up with Suzyn along the way. Suzyn was wearing another…interesting…hat today. A black witch's hat with pink polka dots that had a pink Phoenix at the top. When Suzyn saw Harry and Ashley, she pointed out the Phoenix and said, "See James, your favorite!"

Harry momentarily had no clue what she was talking about, then realized she meant his favorite animal. He smiled and nodded, and let himself get drawn in to another review of the Arithmancy formulas. He was saved from further review by the appearance of Dr. Naomi at the front of the classroom.

"Welcome to Transfiguration Ethics James. Ready?"

He nodded. "These two helped me get prepped for class."

"Oh, wonderful. Go ahead and have a seat."

This class was a lot smaller than his Intro to Transfiguration class, only a dozen folks in the class. It conflicted with the other Intro classes, so anyone getting a double major had to take it a different semester.

Harry followed Ashley and Suzyn and sat down at a desk close to the front. He was looking forward to seeing how Dr. Naomi taught. He expected to enjoy these lessons. When everyone had arrived, she began class.

"Welcome, and I hope everyone is having a good day. Today we're continuing our discussion of edible to edible transfigurations. Go ahead and pass up your homework. I'm interested to hear what some other possible breach of ethics would be possible."

Ashley immediately raised her hand, along with a handful of other students. Dr. Naomi called on Ashley and Ashley replied, "I was thinking if someone is allergic to something that hasn't been controlled by a potion yet, or a muggle. A lot of people are allergic, say, someone's allergic to peanuts. You transfigure a peanut into, I don't know, a cupcake, they eat it, and if the transfiguration wears off, they'd probably die!"

Dr. Naomi nodded. "Absolutely a problem." She wrote allergies on the white board. "Ok, what else?"

The class brainstormed some more ideas, and had a pretty full white board. Harry figured she hadn't gotten the answer she was looking for, because she kept prodding the class for more. Finally, for the first time in the class, Harry rose his hand.

"Our transfer from Charms. Yes James?"

"Well. Isn't transfiguring anything edible kinda unethical?"

"Oh? Could you elaborate?" she asked with a smile.

"Sure. I suppose it's not unethical if you tell everyone about it before hand and you get their ok, or you transfigure something for yourself. But if you transfigure anything edible for anyone else to eat, and they eat it, wouldn't that be betraying their trust."

Harry had been thinking a lot about trust the past couple of days, and it showed in his reply. He couldn't get the thought about living a double life and deceiving everyone he's ever met, both in America and in Britain.

"Absolutely. Mr. Black is indeed correct." She wrote "everything in disguise" on the white board. "Any time you are intentionally deceiving someone with transfigured food, you are skirting ethics, even if you had good intentions. It's highly doubtful you got a medical release form that listed everything the person you are giving transfigured food to is allergic to. The other reasons are absolutely correct, but they mostly get to the issue of how you could harm someone else. That would certainly be against the law, but ethics and law aren't always the same thing.

"We want graduates of Emory to use their magical powers ethically. Ethics goes far beyond legal ramifications and into moral ramifications. Ethics is all about morality. Yes, we'll focus on what the actual laws are because you need to know. But using magic ethically goes far beyond using it lawfully.

"James here brings up deception. Is intentionally deceiving someone unethical? By some accounts, yes. But by other accounts, no. Would it be unethical if you knew an evil mastermind was allergic to peanuts, and the only way to stop his reign of terror was to convince him to eat something when it was really a peanut? Ok, yes, that's a far fetched example, but it goes to show you how complicated these questions can be.

"Is there such a thing that is absolutely, universally wrong? Absolutely, universally right? It's a question philosophers and theologians have struggled with since the dawn of thought. And there are no easy answers, and one person's ethical and moral code is vastly different than another person's. Everyone has their own moral code.

"This goes to show how intentional we all must be in our thoughts and our actions. And you don't always have the opportunity to fully think out something before you have to act, which is why I want to help you think through these things in advance as much as I can. However, living ethically, using magic ethically, is a decision you have to make at every wave of the wand, every breath you take. It's a way of living, not something you can check off a to do list.

"This is why we're going to examine all different kinds of scenarios in this class. There will be very few instances where there are correct and incorrect answers, those come mostly when we talk about laws. Most of the time what's best, what's the most ethical in your eyes, is never a black and white decision. It lies somewhere in that murky gray area. This is why we'll be brainstorming as a class different ethical issues involved with many different kinds of transfigurations - to get you thinking about these ethics which odds are you've never had to think about before."

—-

When class ended, Harry walked up to Dr. Naomi before Ashley could drag him away for a final last minute cramming session. "Yes James?"

"Could I talk with you?"

"Well, aside from pointing out you're already doing so now, I take it you mean in an advising role?" Seeing Harry's nod, she continued, "Are you free now?"

"Hmm. I've got an Arithmancy test in about half an hour-"

"Tell you what. I'm free at 5:00. How about we meet in my office then?"

"That'd be great. Thanks Dr. Naomi. Great class."

She smiled and headed out of the classroom. Harry followed Ashley to the Arithmancy building, where she said the other members of the study group were waiting to do some last minute review.

On the way over, Harry pondered over the Ethics class. He had simply been blown away by the Ethics lecture and he had more questions than answers. He volunteered in class that deception was unethical when it came to edible to edible transfigurations. Was he being unethical now? Living a double life, lying to everyone about who he really was? She said nothing was black and white, it was all a shade of gray. Was this deception one of those shades of gray?

Harry was abruptly shaken out of his stupor by Ashley stumbling next to him. Harry, acting quickly, was able to catch her arm before she fell. Unfortunately, this had the side effect of spreading the note cards she had been studying from all over the walkway. She shrieked and immediately started summoning them back to her. Rolling his eyes, he knelt down and began picking them up. Once he couldn't find any more, he stood back up and looked at Ashley, suggesting, "maybe hold off studying while walking?"

"Give me those!"

"You'll have to catch me first." With this, Harry ran as quickly as he could to the Arithmancy building.

He heard a loud female shriek of "JAMES BLACK" but dodged foot traffic to make it into the Arithmancy building without harm. He really hoped she would calm down at some point.

—-

The quiz went much easier than expected - Harry thought that sheer amount of studying he had done for it might have been a tad overkill. But he should get a great grade, and wanted to prove to himself that he could make it here. He knew he had the power to do well, but Arithmancy was all about brains, and he knew he would have to try harder in his muggle classes to do as well.

He had about an hour to kill after the Arithmancy class and before his meeting with Dr. Naomi. He thought about just walking around the campus, but the hot weather and threatening clouds made him think twice. The thunderstorms from that morning were still lurking around. He told Ashley he would see her Saturday - she clearly wanted to talk about the quiz but Harry had never been interested in talking about a test right after taking it. Harry wondered if the Daily Prophet had printed his letter yet and contemplated taking a quick trip to Five Points Alleys to check.

A loud thunderclap caused him to change his mind, and he veered quickly in to the library. He decided to check out the different floors of the library a little more in depth than he had before. His own little tour. He showed his ID and was quickly let in - the library wasn't all that popular late Friday afternoons apparently.

He walked around the first floor and saw a section he missed before. Far off to the right was desk a labelled periodicals, with a bunch of odd looking shelves and a few stuffed chairs. He headed over to see what it was all about. Apparently, Emory subscribed to a lot of different newspapers and magazines. He looked through and didn't see a copy of that day's Daily Prophet, but saw a copy of the Magical Times.

The Magical Times was the top newspaper of Wizarding America. Although published in Salem, they had a local section that changed based off where the paper was being delivered to, covering news from the main regional magical cities (of which Atlanta was one.) It had the main news section, an international section, a sports section, a section called Magical Life, and the local section.

He decided to start with the local section to see what was going on in Wizarding Atlanta. There was an article about the start of Marietta Magical Magnet's school year (which began on Monday) and a brief history of the school, entering its 103rd year. Harry continued to read through the section, noting the advertisement for Hype's (he jotted down the floo address for later use) and seeing a story about some magical art show at the High Museum. There was a calendar of events that intrigued Harry - although he didn't have a lot of free time, some of the events looked interesting. He would have to come and check out the paper more often.

He set aside the sports section - the front page was covered in headlines about quodpot, and Harry couldn't really bring himself to care about it all that much. The Magical Life section had stories about new products for the wizarding home, recipes, tips for gardening, and more. He vowed to try growing one of the magical plants that was talked about in one of the articles, the Spitting line of plants - they acted as a kind of living potpourri; whenever they didn't like the smell of the room, they would spit out a scent. They came in a dozen different scents.

Next up Harry checked out the news section, saving International for last. There were articles about different crimes, articles on the Wizarding Senate alongside opinion pieces about what the Wizarding Senate ought to be doing, and some on the scandal involving muggle President Clinton, which was interesting enough to make it in to the magical paper as well.

Harry finally got to the International News section, only to be greeted with a picture of himself. Harry felt a sudden burst of panic, and despite the library being totally empty except for him, he ran in to one of the study rooms. He locked the door and threw the paper down on the table as if it were on fire.

The Daily Prophet had clearly gotten the letter and printed it. He would need to get a copy of it after all. Was it a big enough story to make the Magical Times as well? Would this cause his cover to be blown?

Harry's heart started to race, and eyed the paper like it was about to explode. He paced around the room, trying to calm down. He started doing some breathing exercises and finally calmed down enough to look at the paper and see what the article was about.

The Daily Prophet had printed the letter in a special edition and apparently run fifteen editorials in response from friends, Ministry officials, and more. The article was more about the special issue and the fuss it raised rather than going in depth about the actual content. They did note, however, the post mark was from Salem (although they printed how that didn't even mean Harry was in America, just that he knew how the American post office worked.) They did mention how it appeared pressure had eased off the goblins considerably already as a result of the letter, then questioned the sanity of the Ministry for even trying that route in the first place.

All in all, it was as good of an article as Harry could have expected in the American wizarding paper. Favorable coverage, but more focused on the story of the story than the actual content of the story. Harry dreaded what the FIFTEEN editorials had to say in response to his letter, but he knew he would need to read it. Or did he? What could they say that would make anything better? Would reading it just make him more upset? Didn't he owe it to the people who wrote the editorials to at least read them? Wouldn't he be tempted to respond to them, leading to a battle waged in the papers from opposite sides of the ocean? Would he ever be able to move on if he got dragged into that sort of war of words, or would he be stuck focusing on the past again for who knows how long? Harry held off apprating right away to Five Points Alleys and buying a copy of the Daily Prophet, although part of him was tempted to. Harry glanced at his watch. He didn't have the time to apparate anyhow. It was time to meet with Dr. Naomi, and he just barely had enough time to run and put the paper back at the periodicals desk and run over to the Transfiguration building to make it there on time.

—-

"Well James, I was going to ask what I could do for you, but I've already got an idea."

"Oh?"

"Since you've already caught up with the course material, I can only imagine it has to deal with this. I picked it up from the library."

She slid a copy of the Daily Prophet across the desk. Harry visibly paled and left it on the table.

"In part. Did you read it?"

"I did not."

"Then why do you have it?"

She smiled. "For starters, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to read it."

"You waited to ask me if it was ok?" Harry was surprised that she would wait to ask him if it was ok.

She nodded and smiled. "And I figured you would not want everyone reading it before you had a chance to. Tell you what, why don't you read through this and I'll go get us a couple cups of coffee. I think we'll need it." Seeing Harry's nod, she headed out of her office.

Harry decided on a spur of the moment to get the pain and wondering over with. He grabbed the paper and started reading. They had indeed printed his letter whole. And the editorials. Oh the editorials. There were indeed fifteen of them (written by The Editorial Board, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Minerva McGonagall, Floris Huxley, Bill Weasley, Andromeda Tonks, Survivor's Alliance, Minister of Magic, Hogsmeade Council, Luna Lovegood, Henry Gogia, Marhsall Ortz, Patricia Fillingsworth, and Sylvia Tabernacle.) Exactly 10 of the editorials supported his letter, although more than he wished advocated for his return to Britain to do his duty. (Harry had trouble not burning the paper after reading the editorial by the Hogsmeade Council, demanding his return to help rebuild the town.)

The letter by Hermione was split, part of her letter supporting Harry in his quest for healing but wishing he hadn't left so abruptly. Professor McGonagall hoped he would come back to Hogwarts and finish his last year of schooling, but scolded the Wizarding Society at their latest actions and for causing Harry more grief. Neville supported him completely, and announced he too would be taking an extended holiday to recuperate. Luna's was a work of art, plain and simple.

The letter from the Minister of Magic promised to lay off the Goblins, and expressed his wish that Harry check in with him at least once a month to assure his safety. Harry made a note to send a letter directly to the minister saying thanks but no thanks to the request. All in all, it hadn't been as bad as he had been expecting. Yes, there were a couple of editorials that called him a coward for leaving, but even the other ones that didn't understand why he left supported his wishes that he be left in peace. That indeed seemed to be the over all theme, except for the extreme articles against him. We don't understand, but we'll let you be for now.

Although Harry was somewhat satisfied how it turned out, he still wished it had never been necessary. Dr. Naomi arrived back in to her office right as Harry put the paper down, causing Harry to wonder if she had purposefully waited until he had finished to walk back in.

"Want to read it?" asked Harry.

"Why don't you tell me about it instead," replied Dr. Naomi.

"Well. I decided to get a Daily Prophet to see what was going on in Britain, and there was a story about how they were pressuring Gringotts to divulge any information they had on me. It sounded like it was pretty intense, and I didn't want the goblins getting any flack and I wanted them to stop worrying about me and leave me alone. So I wrote a letter. And they published it with fifteen editorials about it."

"So you got the Daily Prophet because you were curious about Britain?"

Busted. Harry looked down at the ground. "Not exactly Dr. Naomi."

"If you don't want to tell me, its ok James."

"Call me Harry. You're the only person besides me who know both sides of who I am."

Dr. Naomi looked intrigued by that comment, but held off from asking a question about it. She instead nodded, "Ok, Harry."

"Well, I was starting to wonder how my old friends in Britain were feeling. What they would think about me and my new life. How I was living two different lives and how I was just lying to everyone and how it was both the right and the wrong thing to do and-" Harry started to get even more frustrated, so he paused and took a drink from his coffee. He didn't want to lose control.

"Well. A lot there. Let's talk about leaving first. Are you still worried if it was the right thing to do?"

"Yes."

"Well, tell me, why did you leave?"

"I had to get away. I just couldn't deal with it all. The expectations on me, all my friends that died, I just wanted to get away and try to live a normal life. As much as I could live one anyway. But now I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to live a normal life."

"Well, if you ever figure out what a normal life is, please let me know." She smiled. "So many people wish for a normal life, it's actually a pretty normal thing to do. You're worried you did the wrong thing in leaving?"

Harry nodded.

"This gets into what I was talking about earlier in Ethics, Harry. There are so very few right or wrong decisions in the real world. There are only choices, some more flawed than others. You did what you thought was best under the circumstances. Now you might want someone else to tell you that you did the right thing. And although I could certainly tell you that you did the right thing, it wouldn't mean anything unless you believe you did the right thing. It matters more that you did the right thing in your own eyes. So Harry, do you think you did the right thing?"

'You won't tell me if I did?"

"Harry, there are no right answers."

"But what do you think?"

She grinned. "I think that's not going to work. And I think part of this healing you need to do is to develop your own answers to these questions. Not just part of the healing process, but it's a process of becoming adult. We all want validation from someone else for the decisions we've made; we never stop wanting a good grade from someone. But part of your healing is accepting that as an adult, that validation isn't always there."

"Hunh?"

"I think you still look to others to find validation in what you're thinking, to find validation in your actions."

Harry paused at that. Was that true? He wanted people to understand why he left. Was that the same as validation? Did he want someone to say that he did the right thing, that they would do the same thing in his shoes? Was having someone understand the same as condoning it? Harry wasn't sure what he wanted.

"I suppose in a way I wanted to set the story straight. Tell people why I left so they would accept it."

"But I think you knew people wouldn't truly accept it."

"Why do you think that?"

"By choosing to change your name like you did. I think you started off this journey working under the assumption that people would not accept your wishes, would not accept that you wanted to be left alone."

"So you think I shouldn't use a different name?"

"I never said that Harry," said Naomi, lightly chastising him. "I said that's what it seems like you did to me. I think in due time you'll go back to using your name. But you tell me, is it the right decision right now for you to use your true name?"

Harry thought for a moment, taking another sip of his coffee. "I feel like I'm hiding who I am from all of my new friends here."

"Well, if they are indeed friends, I'm sure they'll still be your friends afterwards. And if not, then I doubt they were true friends to you."

"Ok. But I'm not ready for the attention I'd receive. Right now, I think if I went back to using my true name, someone would tell the Prophet and I'd have reporters hounding me. Especially based off that recent article and recent drama in Britain. No, it's not right yet. But I still feel like I'm hiding who I am, living a double life. I can't describe it other than it feels kinda wrong."

She nodded. "You are worried that you aren't being authentic to your true self."

"That's it!"

"I think all of this is temporary. I think if you were choosing to completely start over anew, then you would have those feelings about authenticity your entire life. Right now, it seems like you value healing more than being authentic. And you're worried if you reveal yourself, you wouldn't be able to focus on healing and you'd have to hide again."

Harry nodded. "I do think it's temporary. I can't stop thinking about how I'm lying to everyone, all the time. Lying to Wizarding Britain with where I am, lying to everyone here at Emory with a different name, different circumstances growing up."

"Let me play Devil's Advocate for a moment. Why does it matter that you're lying to them?"

Harry paused at the question. Was she serious? "It feels just so wrong. And not just because I'm worried about slipping up."

"It just feels wrong?" she prodded.

"Yes! Oh, I can't explain it. But it feels like I'm doing wrong."

"That, Harry, is your inner ethical voice."

"Oh?"

"We can't always explain why some things seem right and others not."

"This is just so hard Dr. Naomi."

"It is."

"How can I listen to my inner ethical voice more often? Figure out what it's trying to say?"

"Well, clearly talking about it helped you. But I think you are looking for a blueprint, aren't you?"

Harry nodded. "A list of questions to think about or something."

"It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid."

"I know this is about to be a very personal question, but how did you discover yours?"

"Well, what worked for me isn't necessarily what will work for you. You understand that, right?"

"I do."

"Ok. I started going to a church."

"A church? Are you religious?"

"I am."

"Oh! Can I ask what religion you are?"

"I'm not going to answer that Harry."

"Too personal?"

"Well, it is a personal question. But I get the feeling you are back to looking for someone to tell you what to do, what to think, and I think if I tell you what religion I am, you'll assume it's yours and not check out the others. And I want you to explore, Harry, because different religions approach different ethical questions and values completely differently. A lot of people are looking for these answers; there are a lot of seekers. And these questions are a good thing Harry. In fact, many people here at Emory are asking themselves these very questions - a lot of people who end up getting a Masters of Divinity degree do it to figure out themselves in the process. So I won't tell you what religion I am."

"I took this Belief o Matic quiz online for my Religions class."

She smiled. "I've taken it. Pretty fun. And it worked for me," she said with a wink. "I'd check out the top results and see if one clicks with you. I think it will help you explore your moral core, help you figure out these ethical questions."

"Thanks Dr. Naomi."

"My wish for you Harry, is to let up on yourself just a little. You think you need to heal, so spend that time healing, and I think a church setting would help you heal more than you expect. If you're worried about authenticity, when you feel like you're ready to be your true self, let the world know. And start with your friends on both sides of the Atlantic. Some of those articles in the paper about your letter - were they supportive?"

He nodded.

"Then I bet you've got more allies than you expect. I can tell you that Emory does take the privacy of its students seriously, and IF you do decide to reveal yourself and reporters try to hound you, well, we can do something about that." She winked at Harry. "And no, it's no trouble."

"You've given me a lot to think about Dr. Naomi."

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes. And confused."

She laughed, and Harry found himself laughing too. "Well Harry, welcome to adulthood. If there's nothing else, I think we can call it a night. I'll see you in class Monday."

"Thanks again Dr. Naomi."


	11. Chapter 11 Running and Mini Golf

Chapter 11

A/N: Finally feeling like I'm hitting my groove with this story. Expect the deep stuff to be randomly spread throughout the story. Decided to cut off this chapter before the car chat and move it to the next chappie. Enjoy this mostly fluff chapter!

Harry laced up his running shoes and tried to stifle a yawn. He had a restless night, thinking over the discussion with Dr. Naomi the day prior. But it had been a somewhat productive session of sitting and brooding over the conversation at two in the morning.

He decided to take up Lee on his one time offer earlier in the week to take Harry to his church. It matched his belief o matic test from Intro to Religion, and he was beginning to have a high level of respect for Dr. Naomi and the advice she gave him. Maybe part of his healing process would be well spent developing his own ethical, moral core.

During the hunt for the horcruxes, he had time to think. But all that time was spent thinking about the task at hand - destroying the horcruxes so Voldemort could be killed and Wizarding Britain be saved. He had literally been born into the role. And now that role was finished - it was no wonder why he wasn't sure what he should be doing right now with his life.

His prior ethical core was solely "destroy the horcruxes, destroy Voldemort, try not to die." Although by the end, he had given up hope of the third tenant, and indeed, if that experience was to believed, he had died in order that others might truly live. He had never developed a moral core beforehand. Sure he had a strong sense of what was right and what was wrong, but he had never examined why he felt the way he felt.

And he came to the realization that he had indeed been putting off healing in favor of keeping busy. He needed to examine these thoughts and experiences of the past year more in depth than he had before. He vowed to make time each week to sit and think through his prior year, both the good and the bad. He'd set aside some time every Sunday to journal and already scheduled it in his Palm Pilot.

He felt more comfortable with hiding behind the name James Black for now. Yes, he'd eventually come clean. But he needed the furor in Britain to die down way more than it had so far, and he wasn't emotionally prepared to deal with the questions he'd inevitably get. One day, yes, but not anytime soon if he could help it.

He had sent that note to the Minister of Magic saying in no uncertain terms he would not be checking in monthly. He chided the Minister for assuming Harry was still a child and had to be treated as such. Harry made a not so subtle threat he'd be watching the papers for any major news, and if the Minister tried to take any actions against him because of his refusal to check in, he'd know. He ended with a not so subtle guilt trip, and hoped it would suffice.

Harry glanced at his watch. He decided to apparate over to Woodruff Hall and jog over to the muggle student center from there. He had consider driving, but driving somewhere to go running seemed too odd for him. He'd tell Chappell that he walked over.

—-

Harry arrived to see Chappell and someone he hadn't met yet stretching outside in front of the entrance to the student center.

"Hey James. This is Phillipe. He's in Running Club too."

"Hey James."

"Hey Phillipe. Just us three?"

"Thats what the email said. Didn't you get it?"

"Oh, must have missed it." Harry hadn't checked his email at all yesterday. His mind had been…elsewhere.

"Cool," replied Chappell.

"So what's your major?" asked Phillipe.

"Undecided. You?"

"Political Science," replied Phillipe.

"Me too!" exclaimed Chappell.

"You both freshmen?" asked Phillipe.

Chappell nodded. "Yes, you?"

"Sophomore. Welcome to Emory and all."

"So," started Harry, "since you know the campus better than we do, have an idea where we should jog?"

"Sure," Phillipe said. "You two ready?"

They both said yes and began to make small talk while jogging. Phillipe talked a lot about the fraternity he was in, and encouraged Harry and Chappell to come to some of the events for rush week. Chappell looked interested, but Harry had enough student organizations to worry about and declined. He already had a house to live in, after all.

After a while, the chatter died down and Harry started to need to breathe a little harder. Chappell and Phillipe looked hardly winded at all. Harry needed to jog a little harder and a little longer at home to keep up. Eventually Harry noticed he was more focused on running than on the thoughts running around in his head. It was the first time his mind had eased from incessantly worrying in days.

The three of them jogged for an hour, all around campus, taking a water break every time they passed by the student center. Phillipe had established a pretty easy route. At the end of the run, Chappell led them all in some stretches, and they began small talk again.

"That was great. After about 20 minutes, I was in the zone!" exclaimed Chappell.

"In the zone?"

"Must be an American expression. Yah. It's when your mind goes all quiet and you just run. When you're in the zone, you're running so good your mind just tunes out and goes on autopilot."

Phillipe nodded. "Same here. It's one of the reasons I started running in the first place."

"Ah. Yah, that happened to me after about fifteen minutes," panted Harry. "You two are barely winded but I'm about to die over here."

Chappell shrugged. "It's from the cross country I used to do."

"I did cross country in high school too. Keep building up your time more and more, and you'll be like us in no time," added Phillipe.

"That was my first hour long. I usually stick to half an hour."

"Make sure you stretch more when you get to your dorm," counseled Phillipe.

"Oh. I live off campus, but I hear you. I need a nice long shower and need to walk back home. See you two next week?"

"Sure! And we on for lunch Tuesday James?"

Harry nodded and headed back towards Woodruff Hall. He decided to try jogging slowly there instead of just walking, although he knew he had to cool down eventually. If he could extend his time just a little longer…

Harry found himself in the zone again, and hardly noticed when he arrived back to the magical section of campus. And he really didn't notice when he jogged right into Lee, knocking them both over.

"Ouch!" exclaimed Lee.

"Oh, sorry Lee. I didn't see you there."

"James?" asked Lee.

"Yes."

"Why are you sweating so hard? And did you not see me? Geesh."

"Oh. I was out jogging with Running Club."

"Running what?"

"Running Club. Muggle club. We jogged all over campus. Got it Saturday mornings. What are you doing on campus?"

"Decided I didn't want to cook so came for breakfast. Free meal plan on my scholarship. You ok? Not hurt or anything?"

Harry shook his head. "Might as well do some stretches while I'm down here on the ground anyway. Sorry about running in to you - I was in the zone and wasn't paying attention. Won't happen again!"

"Wait, you were jogging all over campus this morning?"

"Uh, yes?"

"I saw three guys jogging earlier, ran right past me. Didn't notice you were one of them."

"Oh. Yup, that was me."

"Who were the other guys with you?" asked Lee with a glint in his eye.

"Oh, Chappell and Phillipe."

"Which one was the shorter one?"

Harry had to think back. "Chappell was the shortest one I think. Why?"

Lee blushed. "He's cute."

Harry shrugged. "If you say so mate."

"Can I come jogging with you next week?" asked Lee.

"Do you ever jog? You might die on us," said Harry with a smile as he stretched his hamstring.

"No. Ok, that's out."

Harry shrugged. "We have the same lunch hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But I think you're in Chem then, right?"

"Damn my luck. Oh well. I'll just have to keep an eye out for him."

"So, you'd want to date a muggle?" asked Harry.

"Why," countered Lee, "think there's something wrong with that?"

"Not at all Lee. Just curious. I don't know Muggle-Wizard relations in America very well. It common?"

"Sure. If you want to spill the beans about magic though, you have to get a special form and everything. But it happens enough to where they have a form, so I imagine it's pretty common."

Harry nodded. "Well Lee, I think I need to head back home and take a shower."

Lee laughed. "That you do. Go. I'll see you at 3. Any idea where the girls are taking us?"

"Not a clue. Better bring your wallet just in case."

Lee laughed again and the two parted ways. Lee was walking away from Woodruff Hall, and Harry walked over to the apparition point for Woodruff Hall and apparted back to his house.

He was reminded again to thank the designers he had hired - those three shower heads felt mighty good after a long run.

—

Harry was feeling a little sore from his jog earlier in the day, but kept doing occasional stretches and felt better after each. He glanced at the clock - it was 12:10 and had some time to kill before heading out with Lee, Ashley, and Carolyn. Harry wasn't in the mood to study - the jog had woken him up completely and just wasn't in a pensive mood to study. He had a relatively light homework load for Monday anyhow - he'd be able to knock out the rest of his homework for Monday and Tuesday on Sunday afternoon.

Harry decided he would head over to Hype's, the magical art supply store, and check it out. He liked Ashley's description of it, and after seeing the ad was doubly interested. He loved the ceramics class so far, even though they had just begun. He would probably do better in the class if he practiced more outside of it, and he was interested in comparing the muggle and magical processes, including glazing. He made sure he had his wallet, then he grabbed some floo powder and called out "Hype's, Decatur" and was whisked away.

It was larger than Harry had expected, and already assumed it was magically enlarged despite never seeing the outside. After stumbling out of the fireplace, he saw a map of the store and headed over to it.

There were areas designated for painting supplies, sculpture supplies, pottery supplies, tapestry supplies, and knitting supplies. They had a set of classrooms marked alongside an area marked painting and another one marked pottery. Underneath the map was a posting of classes for the week. Even though there was a painting class starting in about fifteen minutes, he wasn't interested. He just wanted to check out the place.

He decided to just roam around the store for a while, starting with the pottery section. They had standard clay, but had types he had never seen before. He came across different molds for objects and rows and rows of glaze. One row was designated for muggle glazes, and another for magical glazes. He decided to hold off purchasing any glazes until he saw what was available at the school, but for each glaze they had a piece of pottery with the glaze on it, so you could get a better feel for the color.

The magical glaze aisle had glazes that would change color when touched, change color depending on the temperature, special primers you could put on the pottery that would cause the image pained on top to move around, and more. Harry was slightly overwhelmed at the sheer number of possibilities.

He passed by an aisle of books on ceramics and pottery. He grabbed a couple of books on the process of magical pottery and painting moving pictures using glazes. He flipped through the magical pottery book and quickly learned he wouldn't need a special kiln at all. There were different spells you could use to dry the pottery and to fire the pottery to ensure the glaze would set and harden correctly. Harry grinned - he would be able to practice pottery at home after all.

Harry walked over to the front of the store, grabbed a shopping cart, and returned. He bought a couple of bags of hand molding clay and some different basic glazes. He would try magical glazes after he got the hang of regular glazes. He hadn't learned how to glaze yet - that would come Tuesday - but when he learned he looked forward to practicing more at home, and the sheer speed of magical pottery would certainly make his life easier.

After tossing in a set of brushes, he headed over to check out the area marked on the map simply as, "pottery." They had a pottery studio similar in layout to the classroom at Emory - several wheels were set up for wheel thrown pottery, which Harry would learn in about a month, along with a row of glazes that were for everyone to share. There were also some lockers if you needed to store a work in progress.

There was one person working at the pottery wheel. Harry tried to observe the person without being noticed. Harry was fascinated how the wheel worked - Harry hadn't seen anyone use the wheels in the classroom yet. There was a lot of water involved, but the woman behind the wheel didn't seem to be bothered at all. When she had finished what looked to be a vase, she paused and Harry quickly headed in another direction to avoid being noticed.

He wandered around the rest of the store, checking out some of the books on magical paintings and sculpture. He wasn't interested in creating it, but he had always been fascinated by the paintings that moved. He passed by a photography section but didn't look too much at the material. He had been reminded of little Colin Creevy, killed in the Battle of Hogwarts. He felt emotions starting to take over, but calmed himself down with some intentional breathing. He knew Colin would have loved the store and would have loved to take some of the photography classes they had at the store. Even Hermione might have been interested in the knitting section - she might have been able to learn how to make more than just hats.

Part of Harry was wondering why he was so interested in this artsy stuff. He had never been interested at Hogwarts, well, that was somewhat true. They never had art classes or anything at Hogwarts, but he remembered liking art classes in primary school. Maybe it would be good for him.

Harry glanced at his watch - he had already spent a couple of hours in the store, and he hadn't even realized it! He headed over to the cashier, paid, and flooed back home. He knew he would be back pretty often.

Harry decided that since he would be doing pottery at home using magical means, he would set up shop somewhere on the top floor. He decided to make room in his magical practice room, after deciding he ought to keep the potions room just in case.

After some rearranging, he had a nice half of the room that would work well as an area for pottery. He would need a good table to work on, but moved a bookshelf into the room to act as storage for now. He made a note in his Palm Pilot to go furniture shopping for a good work table. Harry still had some time to kill before he met up with Lee, Ashley, and Carolyn, so he decided to read some in his magical pottery book until 2:50, then he would apparate over to Woodruff Hall.

—

Harry double checked himself in the mirror one more time and put on his Emory hat. Harry wasn't sure exactly what they'd be doing or where they'd be going, so Harry figured he was well dressed enough. If not, he could always pop back to change.

He glanced at his watch - he was cutting it close. He grabbed his wallet and popped over to Woodruff Hall. After wandering around for a bit, he ran in to Lee, Carolyn, and Ashley. Whoops, the last to arrive.

"FINALLY James," sighed Carolyn.

"What? I'm on time, aren't I?"

"He was probably too busy cleaning up after jogging," said Lee with a grin.

"That's right. Lee said you run with a couple of hotties," said Carolyn, "when you going to introduce us?"

"Well, you have to start running first."

"Pass!" exclaimed Carolyn.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Ok, so what are we doing?" Everyone turned to face Carolyn in unison.

"Figures you all would expect ME to do all the planning. Just like always. Luckily, I had figured that would happen. Here are some choices - catch a movie, go shopping, go putt putt, go bowling, go-'

"PUTT PUTT" shouted Lee.

"What?" asked Harry.

"Putt Putt! Mini golf! You know!"

Harry shook his head. He had no clue what they were talking about. "Sorry, what?"

"Well that settles it," said Carolyn, "Putt Putt it is."

Lee cheered and Ashley groaned. "Just promise not to get too competitive Lee."

"Who me?" asked Lee with a grin.

"Last time you pushed me when I was trying to win."

"Did not! It was an accident."

"Did too."

"Did not!"

"Oh can it you two. So, I only know of one putt putt place, but it's up in Duluth and it's muggle. How are we going to get there?"

After an extended pause, Harry said, "Well, I do have a car."

"That's right!" exclaimed Ashley. "You willing to drive us there?"

"I remember how to get there," added Carolyn.

"Sure," said Harry.

"Where'd you park?" asked Lee.

"Oh, I apparated over." Harry suddenly flashed back to his conversation with Dr. Naomi the day prior about living a double life. Why was he keeping his house from his new friends? If they really were his friends, they wouldn't care, and if they did care, then it was better to find out they weren't really friends sooner than later. "I suppose," Harry continued, "we can all floo over to my place and head out from there."

"Awesome!" exclaimed Carolyn.

The four of them headed over to the floo node in Woodruff Hall, but Harry was desperately trying to think if he had left anything out that might clue his friends into his true identity. The only thing he could think about were photos, but those were kept in an album and unless they went through the bookshelf in his bedroom, they wouldn't find it.

Harry told them all his floo address, and headed through the fireplace first. He quickly moved out of the way, heard a ding, and Ashley followed. She was literally knocked aside by Carolyn and Lee coming through.

"Wow. Nice room," complimented Carolyn.

"Thanks," said Harry. "After I got the house I worked with a couple of designers to get it all set up. This is the only magical floor, the third floor. There's a spare bedroom, bathroom, potions lab and storage, pet room, and workshop."

"Ooo. Potions lab?" asked Lee.

"Can we get a tour?" asked Carolyn.

Harry shrugged. They were already here after all, he could show them around briefly. "This is the main room, where I've set it up like a library."

"You need more books," chastised Ashley.

Harry grinned. "Well, I figure I'll slowly add to it. Got a good enough start I think."

When they took a look at the potions lab, Lee was excited. "So, I know this is totally rude, but unlike Carolyn here who can always pop home to practice, if I need to practice for potions I have to do it at Emory's lab, and I'm always worried someone will tamper with it. I wish I had a room like this!"

Harry smiled. "If you need to use it, I bet something could be arranged. I don't use it much, but figured I should have one just in case."

"Really?" asked Lee. "I don't want to intrude."

"Sure. We can set up a schedule or something. I don't want you using it when I'm not home though."

"Of course not. I'll pay you and everything for it-"

Harry tried to wave it off but Lee insisted in paying something for using his space. "How about this," suggested Harry, "if there's a potion I need I'll ask you to make it for me?"

"That'd be great! Need anything?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't really have any made."

"I'll get you stocked with a basic healing set and everything. Awesome!"

"So what's the next room?" asked Ashley, in a not so subtle hint that they had talked about potions for long enough.

Harry smiled, and continued to show them around the magical floor. Harry suggested that they could get together and study in the library area, and Ashley thought it was a great idea.

After the top floor, Harry took them downstairs and showed them around the second floor, pointing to his bedroom, the muggle guest bedroom, and gym. Finally, he showed them downstairs and they were impressed with his kitchen set up and study area.

"And that main room would be great for a party," hinted Carolyn.

Harry replied, "Not yet. But someday soon, sure. We could probably have it outside too." Harry took them around the backyard, showing off the grill he had purchased and the Tia Greenhouse.

"So, there's the house."

"Dude, it's awesome James," replied Lee.

"It is!" agreed Ashley and Carolyn.

"Cool. Anyone want anything to drink before we head out? I've got some stuff in the fridge. They thought it'd be great, and they headed back inside. Harry grabbed some cokes from the fridge and met everyone in the breakfast room.

And Harry immediately knew he had forgotten to hide everything. The Daily Prophet Special Edition from yesterday was still on the table.

"Oh, what you think about that?" asked Carolyn, indicating the paper.

Harry started to sweat slightly, but knew he had to tread carefully or they would pick up on his nervousness and stalled for time by handing out the cokes.

"Yah, you were born over there, right?" asked Ashley.

Harry nodded. "I was."

"I think it's kinda silly," started Ashley.

"What do you mean?" asked Carolyn.

"Well," answered Ashley, "He killed like, one of the most evil people ever, probably one of the most evil people in our lifetime. They really ought to leave him alone over there and stop acting like he's royalty or something."

"I don't know," replied Carolyn, "he's pretty much the most famous wizard over there, isn't he? Imagine if Leo up and left America for good, there'd be tabloids all over it."

"I think," added Lee, "that no one should have to be in the papers unless they want to be. I don't think Harry Potter ever really asked for it. Still, I wonder where he is."

Harry started to shake slightly, but tried to cover it with a cough. An awkwardly long coughing fit, that got everyone's attention. 'You ok James?" asked Ashley with concern.

"Yah, just inhaled some coke. I think everyone ought to leave the poor guy alone. He's done enough."

"So," asked Carolyn, "then why did you get a copy of the paper if you didn't care?"

Harry blanked. "Well, er, see, I was just interested to see what was going on with the goblins over there. They were always nice to me, from what I remember."

They all stared at him.

"Goblins?" asked Lee.

"Yah, at the bank. Turns out he wrote that letter because they were trying to strong arm the bank into doing something and he wanted them to back off."

"Oh," replied Ashley. "That was pretty cool of him."

Lee huffed. "Yes. But come on, that's Britain's problem. We've got a problem of our own, you know."

"What?" asked Carolyn.

"We aren't yet heading towards Putt Putt. Let's go!" The four of them laughed, and Harry showed them to the garage, trying to get them as far away from that paper as possible.

—

After a thirty minute drive and only getting lost twice - Carolyn really needed to work on focusing on directions instead of singing along to the radio which she had promptly commandeered upon entering the car - they arrived at The Pirate's Ship miniature golf course.

Lee and Carolyn barely waited for Harry to put the car into park before jumping out like little kids. Ashley rolled her eyes, and waited till Harry had turned off the car before heading to the course.

"My treat!" called Carolyn, and Lee cheered again.

Lee helped Harry get the right sized putter and the four of them argued good-naturedly over who got what color ball (Harry grabbed the red ball and refused to trade it to Ashley.) Carolyn led Ashley to the first hole, while Lee explained the rules to Harry.

After a five minute explanation, Harry asked, "so, you're saying we just try to hit the ball into the whole, despite the obstacles."

"Well, yes, but see the strategy involved and-"

'-I think I got it Lee. Now, come on, the girls will get started without us."

Harry's first game of miniature golf went swimmingly. Well, his ball thought it went swimmingly - he managed to get it in water hazards twice, but still managed to not finish last. Lee beat all of them with four holes in one, followed closely by Carolyn. Harry managed to beat Ashley by one stroke, and Carolyn declared Ashley's punishment was to buy then next round some day. After some good natured whining, she agreed.

Harry enjoyed his first experience at miniature golf. Lee said it was all geometry, and that Harry and Ashley ought to do better since they're studying math. Ashley snorted. "It's more Physics."

Carolyn replied, "And you trying to ruin the game? It's fun. You don't have to think. Just drop the ball and hit it."

"How did you manage to do so well then," asked Harry.

"Pure skill," she replied.

"And she's been here twenty times before," added Lee.

"Ok, true, but still, fun!"

"So, what's next?" asked Harry.

"Well, we are so close by…" started Carolyn.

Ashley groaned, but even Lee looked excited.

"What?" asked Harry.

"The largest mall in the southeast is just up the road and-" started Carolyn.

"-You two planned this, I know it," accused Ashley.

"Who, us?" asked Lee with a grin.

"Come on Ashley. You're a girl, act like it."

"Hey, girls can enjoy math and school and hate malls just fine, thank you," Ashley glared. "And besides, Lee wants to go and-"

"Hey," Lee replied with a grin, "in some cultures I count as a girl. Let's go! Come ooooon."

"Do you two even need anything?" asked Ashley.

But Carolyn assured Harry that you didn't go to mall just to buy stuff. You went to just experience the mall in all it's glory. Harry shrugged and said "sure, let's go."

The four of them headed to Gwinnett Place Mall, the biggest mall in the area. The mall was packed, and Harry had never seen anything like it. He had trouble finding a parking spot, although Carolyn said it was pretty typical for the place. People did come to it from all over the southeast.

They parked at a store called Rich's and Carolyn immediately began talking about the history of Rich's, an Atlanta tradition. She was trying to explain what the store was like, and Harry thought it sounded the same as the H&M he went to in Britain. The way Carolyn talked about Rich's, though, made it seem somehow more important and essential to Atlanta than just a clothing store. But when Harry walked in, sure enough, it was mostly a clothing store.

Carolyn was clearly in her element, taking the group around to all kinds of different stores, and talking Harry into buying some new shirts and a new hat ("since you always seem to wear a hat!") The four of them grabbed some dinner at the food court and talked about nothing in particular.

After dinner, they mostly split their ways. Carolyn wanted to head back to one of the clothing stores and go on a spending spree, and said she'd apparate home later. Ashley needed to get home so she could babysit her younger sister, so she said she would head in to one of the restrooms and apparate back home. It was fine to apparate back to a magical location from a muggle location, as long as you did so in a completely private area. Privacy, however, couldn't be assured if you were apparating in to a muggle area, which is why they had to take the car there.

That left Lee and Harry, which Harry was happy with since he needed to ask Lee some questions about his church anyways. "Want to drive back?"

"You sure? I could just apparate home," replied Lee.

"No, let's drive. I need you in case I get lost on the way back," laughed Harry.


	12. Chapter 12 Harry Goes to Church

Chapter 12 - Harry goes to Church

A/N: This chapter gets heavy in to Unitarian Universalism. I doubt I'm going to write out another church service, although they'll certainly talk about services in the future in the story.

It took Harry a few minutes of light conversation to work up the mental courage to ask Lee about his church. Harry wasn't quite sure why he was so nervous about it - he had done much more difficult things in his short life; this was minor in scale in comparison. But sure enough, butterflies were there.

"So I took that Belief o Matic quiz for Intro to Religions."

"Oh," replied Lee. "You did? What'd you get?"

"Top choice was Unitarian Universalism."

"Really?" asked Lee, clearly excited.

"Yes."

"That's awesome! Have any questions about it?"

"About a million. But first things first, you love your church, right?"

"Oh absolutely. But remember, we call our church a congregation."

"Is that different from a church?"

"Oh, no. Same thing, different name. Our congregation feels that congregation is a more open and welcoming term than church, which could put off some people."

"Oh. So, what do you love about it?"

"Well," replied Lee, "that's a tough question to answer."

"Oh. Sorry."

"No, no, I need to get better at talking about it. In general, we UUs, we call ourselves that instead of Unitarian Universalists, suck at talking about our faith. But why do I love my church? They welcomed me for who I am and challenge me to be a better person."

"What do you mean they welcomed you for who you are?"

"So, you know I'm gay. Not a lot of churches are ok with that, especially down here in the South. But mine's totally cool with it. They didn't judge me ahead of time, and let me be who I am."

Harry thought that sounded exactly like what he needed. He wanted people to accept him as Harry Potter, ok, James Black, not simply accept him because he was the Boy who Lived. In a way, he had a secret like Lee had, hiding who he was from the world and wanting a place to accept him without hiding.

"That sounds…like something I ought to check out. So what do Unitarian Universalists believe?"

Lee laughed. "I've been asked that question a ton of times and never have a good answer. We're a creedless faith."

"What's that mean?"

"It means you don't have to believe the same thing everyone else believes to be a Unitarian. There are some guiding principles, but that's more how we're supposed to interact with each other."

"So you can believe anything you want to?"

"Not quite, although most people get that impression. We have those seven principles, although I can never remember what they are word for word. And the six sources too. Basically, we draw from a lot of different religious traditions and put them together to find our own personal spirituality. We're big on finding your own personal theology and finding your own answers to the big questions. Sure, we help you in the process, but the answers you come up with might be totally different than the answers I come up with."

"Hunh. So, they don't have the answers and tell you what they are?"

Lee laughed. "No, but would you really believe them if they did tell you all the answers to life's big questions? Or would you assume they weren't telling the truth, especially if they didn't match up with what you already thought?"

"True." Harry probably WOULD assume they weren't telling the truth if it didn't match up with what he thought, with what he had experienced in his life.

"Really, the best way to get it is to come and check it out for yourself. We do the whole Sunday Service thing, where we come together to listen to some deep thoughts and such. There's a young adult group that goes out to lunch afterwards. Want to come tomorrow?"

Harry thought about it. Dr. Naomi suggested he check out a religion to help develop his inner moral and ethical core and to start healing. And that quiz did say he should check out Unitarian Universalism. In the end, he didn't really have anything to lose. "I think so."

"Cool. Our congregation is a little hard to get to, and I'd need a ride anyhow. Usually Sarah picks me up, but I'll tell her to go ahead and we'll meet there. How about I floo over tomorrow morning at 9 am, we get some breakfast, and head on over?"

"Really? 9am?"

Lee laughed. "We're still on summer schedule, one service at 10 am. In a couple of weeks, we go to having two, one at 9:30 and one at 11:15."

"Instead of going out for breakfast, I'll make something."

"You sure?"

"It won't be a problem. I've discovered I kinda like cooking. Waffles sound good?"

—

Harry glanced at the clock after Lee apparated back home - 8:27. He knew he had just a little daylight left, so he headed outside to do some work in his garden. The magical fertilizer was working great and he was getting close to being able to harvest some of the vegetables. Harry would give the spinach another week, and that would kick off the harvesting schedule. He had estimated when he would be able to pick them and made up a loose calendar and was only off by about a week. He went over to the blueberry bushes he planted, and much to his surprise, some of them were ready to go - and some had already fallen to the ground.

He went back inside, grabbed a bowl, and headed back to his blueberry bushes. He looked for any that were purple or mostly purple, plucked them off the bush and set them down in the bowl. After about 10 minutes, he had a couple of pints of blueberries, with more to be harvested over the upcoming week. He moved to his strawberry plants and found a couple of the plants already had red ripe strawberries on them. After promptly plucking them, he did one last walk through his garden and headed back inside.

He washed the berries and put them in his fridge, after tasting a handful of the blueberries and strawberries. Harry grinned - they were better than the ones he had purchased in the store, at least according to him. He'd eat some with breakfast the next morning with Lee.

Harry wasn't in the mood to study, and decided to spend the rest of the night until he got tired watching some TV. He settled on the Discovery channel and watched some shows about space. Harry was fascinated, and made a mental note to look up more on the muggle space program at some point. Harry started getting tired, and headed to bed around 11:00, being sure to set his alarms. He wanted to try jogging for an hour on his treadmill before going with Lee to church.

—-

Harry glared at his alarm clock the next morning, wondering why in the world he had set his alarm for 6am on a Sunday. He tried to reach over and shut off the blaring blasted beeping, but missed and ended up falling off his bed. Muttering to himself, he stood up and shut off the alarm.

Harry stumbled downstairs and went to turn on his coffee maker. Realizing he had forgotten to put in coffee, he quickly tried to rectify his mistake. After some spilt hot water which only served to waken him up even more, the coffee pot was functioning as designed. After a few long, agonizing minutes, Harry poured his first cup. He headed in to the breakfast room and did his best to try to remember why he woke up so early.

He had church with Lee, he remembered that. Ah, he was going to run for an hour beforehand, to try and build up his endurance. Lee was coming over at 9am, and Harry needed to wake up, run, and shower before Lee got there.

After a couple of cups of coffee and some good quality time completely zoned out, Harry filled up a bottle of water and headed upstairs to his gym. He turned on his stereo system and turned on the radio to a station that played modern music. He knew it was a CD player as well, but didn't know what CDs he should buy. He'd have to ask his friends for recommendations, maybe even take Carolyn shopping one day and tell her to fill up the cart with CDs and movies.

Harry started with some warm up stretches, then hit the treadmill, slowly increasing his speed. He set a program on the treadmill to simulate hills every now and then and occasionally increasing speed. Eventually Harry got in the zone and didn't even hear the music playing.

An hour later, Harry was panting, but energized and more relaxed at the same time. He finished cooling down on the treadmill then started to go through some more stretches. He didn't want to be sore sitting through the church service in a couple of hours.

Glancing at the clock, Harry saw it was almost 8:00. Harry stretched for a few more minutes, turned off the stereo, and headed in to take a nice, long, hot shower.

Harry was dressed and ready to go at 8:45. He decided to go ahead and get breakfast started, so they could eat when Lee got there. Harry headed downstairs and got waffle batter started. He'd cook up some waffles, have a fruit bowl with those fresh blueberries and strawberries, and at the last minute Harry decided some bacon would go well with the meal.

At 9:00 on the dot, he heard the familiar chime of the floo. He ran upstairs to greet Lee who was looking around the bookcase. "Ok, let's get breakfast going, I'm starving, and hi by the way."

"Why are you so energetic?" asked a slightly bewildered Lee.

"Ran for an hour."

"And that made you more energetic?"

"Looks like it," Harry grinned.

"Ooooook. So, coffee?"

"In the kitchen!"

Harry bounced down the stairs, with Lee slowly following. Harry poured the coffee for Lee, and set about putting the batter in the waffle maker.

"So, waffles, fresh berries from my garden, and bacon. Sound good?"

"Sounds amazing. You sure you aren't gay?"

Harry stopped mid pour. "Pretty sure…"

"Damn." There was a slightly awkward pause, until Lee started laughing. "Sorry, that was a joke. I need a guy to cook for me!"

Harry laughed as well. "Sorry mate. Sure you'll find someone."

The two continued to joke back and forth and make some more small talk while Harry was finishing cooking breakfast. In no time flat, Harry had the waffles, fruit, bacon and coffee ready to go in the breakfast room.

"This is delicious," Lee said through a mouthful of waffle, "thanks again!"

Harry grinned. "No problem."

"So this really is a great house. Love all the windows in here."

Harry agreed. "I was lucky to find it."

"How'd you afford it all?"

"Inheritance."

"Ah. Gotcha. Still, I can see why you don't get out much."

"Oh?"

"Yah, with a house like this I'd stay here all the time too. Beats my dinky apartment any day of the week."

"Oh I'm sure it's not that bad."

Lee laughed. He tried to speak, and laughed again. "Well, we won't be having any parties over there."

"So you all really want me to throw a party? Why?"

Lee shrugged. "It's what you do in college."

"Well, it's not like I know a whole lot of people."

"Doesn't have to be huge or anything. You'd just invite whomever you're comfortable with. Just don't let Carolyn handle the invitations, or you'll have an entire house full."

"Noted."

—

At 9:30, the two of them got into Harry's car, and Lee attempted to give Harry directions. So complicated, Harry was tempted to just let Lee drive. But Lee told Harry it would be good for him to learn how to get there.

Harry started asking questions about what he should expect.

"So, what do I do when I get there?"

"Well, you walk in."

"That's it?"

"What'd you think would happen James?"

"Oh ha ha. Do I have to do anything special?"

"Well, you can sign up as a visitor. They'll give you a nametag and all. Then you get an order of service."

"What's that?"

"Think of it like a program. It's got the songs and everything in it."

"Songs?"

"Yah, hymns. Have you ever been to a church before James?"

"No."

"Ah. Well, yes, hymns are songs to sing. Do you like to sing?"

"Well, I've never really sung that much." Only the school song at Hogwarts, and that didn't even have a tune. "Will that be a problem?"

Lee laughed. "No. You aren't forced to sing."

"Gotcha."

"Just follow what I do. There's a couple times where you stand up, but they're pretty good at telling you when to. There's songs and such, then the sermon, then the meditation, and then songs and then we go to lunch."

Harry continued to ask questions, with Lee trying to answer all of them, although on more than one occasion he told Harry to just "wait and see." Lee, it turns out, gave pretty good directions and without getting lost once, Harry pulled in to the access road to the interstate, didn't take the interstate, and found where Lee told him to turn in.

"Weird location, I know," said Lee, "they moved it from downtown because this was the only area that would rent to an integrated congregation in the 50s." Harry pulled in to a parking spot and followed Lee in. A few people saw Lee walking through the parking lot and would wave or say, "good morning."

When Harry walked through the front doors, he was immediately welcomed by a nice older lady. "Welcome to the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta. Good morning Lee." She turned to Harry and asked, "is this your first time here?"

Harry replied, "Yes."

"How do you know Lee?"

"Oh, met him at college."

"That's great! Come on in, let me take you to the welcome table."

Harry was asked to fill out a short form, which he did, and was given a nametag. He noticed pretty much everyone wearing a nametag, and saw Lee go over to a kiosk to get his nametag while Harry filled out the form. Harry took a couple of pamphlets from the table to read through, and Lee pointed out another kiosk off to the side with dozens of different pamphlets.

Harry read through one of the pamphlets that talked about what the Principles and Sources were, that Lee had mentioned before. The seven principles were, The inherent worth and dignity of every person; Justice, equity and compassion in human relations; Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations; A free and responsible search for truth and meaning; The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large; The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all; Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. Harry was starting to read about the six sources when he heard Lee call his name.

Lee showed Harry around the sides of the sanctuary, pointing out different classrooms and was sure to show him the youth room that Lee had spent so much time in during the past four years. Different artwork lined the hallway around both sides of the sanctuary which led to what Lee said was the social hall.

"The what?"

"After the service most of everyone comes in here to look through the bookstore, get some coffee, check out the tables, chat with each other, and more. You'll see it later. Come on, there's an entrance to the sanctuary from in here."

Harry followed Lee through a set of doors and was given an order of service as he walked in.

"I know," started Lee, "it's different. It's set up more like an amphitheater than a typical church with just the rows of pews. But it's pretty cool and pretty comfortable too. Come on, let's sit in my usual spot."

Harry followed Lee up about halfway on the side with the piano.

"What's that?" asked Harry, pointing to a small table in the center of the sanctuary.

"That's our chalice."

"The what?"

"Our chalice. We light it near the beginning of every service. The words are in the order of service. It's sort of like the main symbol of Unitarian Universalism."

"What's it stand for?"

"Hunh. Not too sure. I think it was used by the UU Service Committee during World War 2, but beyond that, not sure. Oh! There's Sarah and Jim." Lee waved and moved over to make room for the two.

"Hi James. Lee said you were going to come."

"Yup. I took that Belief o Matic quiz and it told me to come here. So I figured I'd give it a shot. Good morning you two."

"Morning," replied Jim.

"And good morning to you," replied Sarah. Sarah and Lee soon started talking about having something they called a chalice circle at Emory, and Harry was completely lost. Eventually most of the sanctuary had filled, and Harry heard some bells chime. He looked around and saw a bell ringer at the very top of the sanctuary, overlooking the pulpit.

Everyone grabbed one of the grey books in front of them, so Harry did too.

"Welcome to the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta, where we are building a faith community that changes lives. Whatever your spiritual path, whatever your journey, you are welcome here. Good morning! My name is David Milton, Director of Music Ministries here at UUCA, and I'm happy to see so many here. Please open your hymnals to number 361 and join me in singing 'Enter, Rejoice and Come In.'"

After singing a couple of hymns, the first of which was pretty easy and Harry was able to sing the last verse to, the minister Rev. Marti welcomed everyone with some formal words of welcome. There was an introducing UUCA session after the service, but Harry figured he could just get answers to his questions from Lee, Sarah, and Jim. They had a guest singer perform a beautiful opera song, then the chalice lighting, then the chalice lighting words, then more singing and then a reading.

"Today's reading is by Matt Kinsi and is entitled, Forgiveness.

'I was in the 8th grade, sitting at lunch. I had been picked on all day, being called gay and some less kind synonyms, you name it I was called it. It was a regular occurrence for me in middle school. And I sat across from someone else who was picked on for the same reasons – Andrew B. He said something to me, and I don't remember what exactly, but I fired back "shut up you queer." This was just under 20 years ago, but the regret I feel is still fresh, makes it feel like it was just yesterday.

'Because even though he wasn't gay, I am actually gay. I just couldn't stand being picked on any more. I snapped. I hadn't ever done something like that before, and never have since. I remember his face, clear as day, covered in acne in all its middle school glory, and he looked shocked that I would ever say such a thing. I left the lunchroom consumed by my anger – not at him, not at the scores of kids picking on me, but at myself.

'I knew I needed forgiveness. But I knew I was too ashamed to ask for it.

'And I didn't. At least for about fifteen years. Then one day my covenant group talked about forgiveness. The first question was what I needed forgiveness for.

'My first thought was "I don't need forgiveness for anything, what an odd question." After a minute I realized how arrogant that thought was…I'm certainly not perfect. Then this memory came roaring back into my mind and hasn't left since. So I blogged about it, I love blogging as a way to think through and process what's on my mind. I wrote a post talking about what I needed forgiveness for, and this was front and center. It was my way of confessing to the universe at large what I needed forgiveness for. It was emotional writing it, tears were shed, but I sent it off feeling better that I had admitted I needed forgiveness.

'The internet, that great interconnected web I find so much joy in, can be a magical place at times. About three months later after I posted what I needed forgiveness for, I got a comment on my blog from an "Andrew B" and it said simply, and I quote, "Forgiven!" with a smiley face. That's it.

'I figured it wasn't real – yes, I had used his real name in the post and I could tell he found the post by googling that real name. But come on, what are the odds of that actually happening? I asked a couple of questions over email and sure enough – same middle school, same guy, and he had absolutely no idea what I was talking about but forgave me anyway.

'Something that I had been carrying for years, feeling terrible about what I did…well, first apparently wasn't as big of a deal to him as it was to me, and secondly he forgave me just like that.

'So why then did I never feel that sense of a weight lifted completely off my shoulders? Perfectly happy to go on with my life with a renewed spirit?

'Because I clearly have not forgiven myself. Even though he forgave me, that didn't soothe my soul.

'How can I forgive myself? There's no handy dandy instruction manual. I find it easier to forgive others, so much easier to forgive others, than to forgive myself.

'I've long since forgiven my classmates for mocking me. They were acting out in their own way – they were venting their middle school awkwardness out on me. I knew they didn't know the struggle going on inside me, knowing I was different but lacking the vocabulary and the will to fully explain it. They didn't know that each word was like a whip across my back. They didn't know it would cause me to snap one day and vent my own frustrations out on Andrew. And I imagine Andrew had similar thoughts to that when reading that blog post from years ago and forgave me in the same manner.

'Are there things that I know I can never forgive myself for even though the injured parties have? If I know that I can never forgive myself, do I deserve this guilt as a way to atone for my self described sins? Or do I need to ask a higher power for help? Would some kind of divine intervention ever soothe over that nagging pit of guilt I feel, still 20 years later?

'To be able to finally forgive myself after 20 years of self induced pain? That would be true grace.'"

After another song by the operatic performer, it was time for the sermon. Lee had clearly been moved by the reading, and Jim looked to be pretty moved as well. Harry was wondering about the idea of forgiving himself. Sure, the circumstances between him and the author of that reading were quite different, but did he need to forgive himself for leaving?

"Forgiveness is a topic covered in depth by practically every religion. From Hinduism, the Rig Veda tells us, 'If we have sinned against the man who loves us, Have wronged a brother, a dear friend, or a comrade, The neighbor of long standing or a stranger, Remove from us this stain, O King Varuna.' From the Islamic tradition, the Qur'an teaches us 'Say, If you love God, follow me, and God will love you, and forgive you all your sins; God is All-forgiving. All-compassionate.' The Christian scriptures in the Book of Ephesians tell us, "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of grace which he lavished upon us.'

"That's a lot of advice on forgiveness. Religions across the world and across time look to a higher power to forgive us of our sins. We can atone for transgressions we've committed on other people, but in order to forgive ourselves we need to ask it from a higher power. Indeed, without forgiving ourselves of our past transgressions, how can we ever hope to forgive someone else? Bill Cosby once said, 'People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.' And it's time all of us move on and let go of that bitterness in our hearts."

The rest of the sermon talked about forgiveness, mostly forgiving ourselves. Harry was speechless - the sermon struck right to the very core of what he had been worried about. He vowed to not lose himself to bitterness and to forgive himself for hiding from his old friends and lying to his new ones. And he needed to work on forgiving Wizarding Britain for the pressures they've put him under. He knew he needed forgiveness for leaving, mostly from his old friends. He hoped they would understand and forgive him when he was able to talk with them about his real reasons. He had underestimated how much he needed forgiveness.

The minister asked everyone to join her in the responsive reading, the Litany of Atonement, by Rev. Robert Eller-Isaacs. They were to repeat the words "We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love" each time after the minister spoke.

"For remaining silent, when a single voice would have made a difference,  
We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

For each time that our fears have made us rigid and inaccessible,  
We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

For each time our greed has blinded us to the needs of others  
We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

For the selfishness that sets us apart and alone,  
We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

For falling short of the admonitions of the spirit,  
We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love.

For these and for so many acts, both evident and subtle, which have fueled the illusion of separateness,  
We forgive ourselves and each other; we begin again in love."

Harry was wiping away tears as the meditation started. Harry listened to the words from the minister, and tried to calm himself and take some deep breaths. He tried to let go of his thoughts, like the minister suggested, but found it difficult. He kept thinking about forgiveness, forgiving Britain and asking for the forgiveness he clearly needed.

After the offertory, which Harry chipped in the cash he had in his wallet, there was another song and finally the benediction. Everyone stood and held hands. "Louis B. Smedes once said, 'To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.' Go in peace. Amen."

"So what'd you think James?" asked Lee.

"It was…it was amazing Lee. I needed to hear this right now in my life."

Lee smiled. "You'll think that a lot. Come on. Let's go get some coffee."

Harry made some light small talk in the social hall, but he was still thinking about the sermon. He headed over to the bookstore and saw some books on Unitarian Universalism he decided to pick up. He walked away five books richer and slightly poorer.

Harry met some more of Lee's friends from church, but Harry was still thinking over the sermon and wasn't really paying that close attention to the small talk. He did hear them ask him if he was planning on going to lunch. Harry nodded and got directions to an Indian restaurant called Cafe Bombay that was close by.

—

After lunch, Harry decided he wanted to head back home. Lee was still chatting, but Jim quickly offered to take Lee home. Harry said he would be back next week, to the smiles of everyone around the table. After waving goodbye, Harry headed back home.

He was quiet the entire drive over, not even attempting to sing along to some of the songs he was starting to recognize on the radio. Sure he got lost a couple of times, but he knew he would eventually found his way back home. He couldn't stop thinking about the sermon and mulling it over in his head.

He had the sudden urge to journal what he was thinking about, and write down all he needed forgiveness for and what he needed to forgive others for. When he got back home, he grabbed his journal, a pen, and a coke, and went to sit outside on his patio.

He spend the next two hours writing down things in his journal, mostly about what he needed forgiveness for. By the end, some tears were shed and Harry was feeling quite a bit better about himself. Harry wondered if this was what Dr. Naomi had meant about healing. Most of the things he needed to ask others for forgiveness for, but quite a few he needed to work on forgiving himself for.

Harry glanced at his watch and sighed. He knew he ought to get started on some homework, but his mind just wasn't in it. It had been a pretty rough morning on his emotions, and he didn't think he'd get much out of studying right then. He decided to tend to his garden and try to harvest some more first.


	13. Chapter 13 When a single voice

Chapter 13 - When a single voice could have made a difference

A/N: I should have mentioned in the last chapter, that reading was something I gave for my congregation's Good Friday service - it's all true. Thanks for the comments - they're what give me the motivation to keep writing quickly! I might not respond, but rest assured I read each and every one of them - thank you. As usual, I don't own any of the characters and such. I finally get back to a sub plot I alluded to in Chapter 3 (which was pretty subtle. It's no longer subtle.) Posting this a day earlier than expected because I'm suddenly on fire with this story.

The next couple of days passed normally for Harry. He went to classes, chatted with friends, and spent a lot of time thinking over the church service he went to on Sunday. He felt something stirring in him he couldn't quite explain other than he knew something clicked, and felt right.

On Wednesday, Harry woke up and jogged for another hour to begin his day. He had slacked off the past couple of days, but after lunch with Chappell yesterday, found that extra boost of motivation he needed. He didn't want to be so winded this upcoming Saturday as he had been last Saturday.

After his jog, shower, breakfast, and gardening time, he went to check out his Palm Pilot for the day's schedule. It was a somewhat light day for him, with just his three magical classes then his ELVES meeting. He would have a couple of hours to kill on campus before the meeting, and planned to hit up the library to work on some of his reading for his Transcendentalism course while there.

At 9:30 he decided to floo over to Woodruff Hall instead of apparating. He noted he needed to pick up some more floo powder at Malluck's Wizmart, and headed off to school. He walked slowly to the Transfiguration building, and ran in to Suzyn along the way. He could see her hat coming down the walkway - today it was a completely lime green hat with a black spider crawling around the hat. Harry thought of Ron, who would have been horrified, and chuckled slightly.

The two of them bid each other good morning and headed in to their Intro to Transfiguration course where Lee and Ashley were already seated in their usual spots. Despite there being no assigned seating, no one had changed their seats from the first class of the semester. Harry noticed the same thing in most of his classes, but was unsure about the seeming unspoken law of seating arrangements.

"Morning you guys," said Harry.

"James, you live in the South. I think it's high time you start using the word y'all," Ashley said.

"Y'all?" inquired Harry.

"Yes. Y'all. It's a great word," continued Ashley. "Short for you all, can replace you guys. Repeat after me. Good morning y'all."

Harry laughed, and repeated "Good morning y'all," with a hideously fake southern accent.

"That was horrific," Lee said.

"Thanks," grinned Harry.

"Note to self - people with British accents really can't speak with a drawl."

"Happy now?" asked Harry, raising his eyebrows at Ashley.

She replied by punching him in the arm.

"Ow!" exclaimed Harry, rubbing his arm. "You wound me!"

Ashley snorted. "Please."

Harry grinned as the doors slammed shut behind Dr. Bowden, signaling the start of another lecture.

"Good morning class. I'm happy to hear that the Transfiguration Lab went smoothly, with minimal accidents," he said with a not so subtle glance at Ashley. Ashley blushed. She had one of those minimal accidents, but was able to transfigure the feral cat that tried to attack Suzyn's hat back to a mouse before it had done too much damage.

Harry grinned. He still chuckled when thinking about it.

"Today we will explore the Farem Law of Cross Species Transfiguration. Who can give me a summary of Farem's Law?"

"I can," volunteered Ashley. She had been studying up extra hard for the day's lecture to try and make up for her disastrous lab. Seeing Dr. Bowden acknowledge her, she continued, "Farem's Law says that if you transfigure simply the body of the animal in to a new species without transfiguring the mind as well, it will still act as its original animal."

"Correct. Which is why your cat might have freaked out on you Monday. You have to give extra attention to transfiguring the mind of the animal. Magic will do what needs to be done, as long as you pour out your energy while focusing on the brain and mind. If you focus too much on the bodily form, your transfiguration will appear to be correct but fail in the most disastrous of ways. Your animal might very well try to attack itself, and you might be responsible for it's death.

"Today in Ethics you will explore more about Farem's Law and the moral consequence it has. But we're going to focus here about its mechanics and how to make sure you're applying enough energy and focus to complete the mental transfiguration as well."

Harry spend the next hour furiously scribbling down notes. He just hoped he would be able to read it later. After class, Suzyn decided to head to the library to check out their books on Magical Law before the Ethics class that day, and Harry, Lee, and Ashley went to meet up with Carolyn in the Woodruff dining hall for an early lunch. Harry was far from hungry, but figured he'd get a snack to tide him over.

After grabbing a fruit salad and a coke, which was a pretty tasty combo according to Harry, he joined the others at their usual spot.

"What is it Lee?" asked Ashley. "You've been in a weird mood all morning. Spill." Harry hadn't noticed Lee acting any differently, but assumed Ashley knew him better than Harry did. Something was clearly up, because Lee suddenly blushed the same color as the strawberry in Harry's fruit salad.

"Uh."

"Ooo. I bet I know," said Carolyn.

"What?" asked Ashley.

Carolyn turned to Lee. "You going to share or shall I?"

"There's no way you could guess," replied Lee.

"A woman always knows," she replied back.

Lee blushed again.

"Well this woman doesn't. Spill it already!"

"Well. After church on Sunday, Jim, a friend of mine from youth group, told me he was starting to fall for me!"

Carolyn cheered and even Ashley looked excited. "I didn't even know he was, you know, gay," Ashley said.

"Well, I didn't think he was. But he kissed me!"

"Details!" shouted Carolyn, causing some of the other folks eating lunch to look at their table.

"Actually, I have James to thank for it."

"Eh? How'd I help?" asked Harry.

"Well, twofold it turns out. First, you ditching out on us early led to him giving me a ride home-"

"-A RIDE home?" asked Carolyn with a grin.

"Mind out of the gutter Carolyn. So he finally got up the nerve to tell me. And he said that seeing you with me got him all jealous."

Harry blinked. "Why would he be jealous?"

"He thought we were, you know…"

Harry looked puzzled. "Were what?"

Now Lee looked embarrassed. "Honestly James," interrupted Carolyn, "this guy must have thought you and Lee were a couple. Which you aren't. But apparently just the thought was enough. How was the kiss? When are we meeting him? How cute is he? How WAS the kiss?"

Lee grinned at Carolyn. "It was…nice. You'll meet him at some point, but he's a muggle, so you'd have to be careful."

Carolyn nodded. "I've had other friends date muggles before; I'm used to it. Now, onto the important things. Does he have a cute older brother for me?"

Lee and Carolyn began to talk about the ins and outs of having a muggle boyfriend while Ashley decided to talk about Transfiguration Ethics with Harry. She finally drew him in to a conversation about different problems that might arise as a result of Farem's Law.

—-

At 12:10, they packed up and headed out to their classes. The four of them walked out of the student center and were handed a pamphlet as they left by a couple of well dressed guys. Harry looked at the pamphlet and it had that same image on the billboard in Five Points Alleys - a wand with two chains attached to either end that then pulled the wand apart. Then the writing, "Break the Chains! Break the Wand!" flashed on the page, before returning to the chains and wand.

"What's this?" asked Harry. "I saw this in Five Points."

Ashley began to turn red, and Carolyn remarked to Lee, "Look out, she's gonna blow. I'm running to Potions now. Bye." Carolyn took off towards the Potions building, leaving a slightly bewildered Harry and amused Lee behind.

"No, Ashley, don't," warned Lee.

"Don't what?"

"You know what I mean."

"No Lee. Why shouldn't I go stuff this pamphlet right up their no good well dressed ass?"

Harry blinked. He couldn't recall ever hearing Ashley curse before. "Ashley?"

"WHAT James?"

"Err."

"James, she's just pissed off at those guys, not you," Lee replied.

"What's this all about?"

"Ugh. I can't be late to Potions. Read the pamphlet and try to get her to calm down. We'll talk after the ELVES meeting tonight. Sorry!" Lee soon followed Carolyn.

"Ashley?" asked Harry. "Uh, ready to go to Ethics?"

"ETHICS. Right. Ethics." Ashley marched right back towards the door, tore the pamphlet in half, threw it at the well dressed gentlemen, and stormed off.

Suddenly alone, Harry decided to read the pamphlet on his way to Ethics.

"Break the Chains. Break the Wand.

Have you noticed a certain emptiness every time you cast a spell? Are you alone, noticing that others seem to revel in casting magic, but it's never felt right to you? Do you feel held back, but can't figure out why?

Fact: Magic can not last.

Spells are not permanent. Why? They go against God's will. Each spell you cast casts you further and further from God.

Fact: Magic does more harm than good.

How much evil has been done in the name of magic? How many spells rely on deceiving someone? When you cast a spell on someone else, are you not committing a sin? Do you not change their minds without their permission?

Fact: The Bible condemns magic.

The Word of God is explicit in its prohibition against Black Magic. You can not find salvation in a wand; your soul can not be saved by a wand. Your soul can only be saved by Jesus Christ.

Come learn more true facts about Magic and how it's a sin against God. Join Rev. Stanley at the Church of the Redeemer and get saved from the evils of magic today! Break your chains by breaking your wand! Wand breaking ceremonies held every Sunday."

It had contact information on the back of the pamphlet and mentioned they had free rides to the church from Emory.

Harry had no clue what they were talking about, and his gut told him they were dead wrong. Harry did know that most magic wasn't permanent, although clearly the killing curse lasted forever. He disagreed that no good could come from magic - he had seen plenty of things go wrong, but it took magic to fix them and he was sure he'd be able to come up with more examples. He had no clue what the Bible said about witchcraft - he had never read it, but assumed they were probably telling the truth. It'd be too easy to prove false otherwise.

Harry stared at the pamphlet. What was this for? Some kind of magical religion? Why did Ashley apparently hate it so much? Harry had more questions than answeres. If they were on campus, surely they couldn't be that bad, could they?

Harry arrived in Ethics and sat down in his usual seat. Ashley hadn't arrived yet, which surprised Harry as he had barely made it in on time. He was even more surprised when class began, and she was no where to be seen. Harry realized he still had the pamphlet out. He noticed Suzyn had a pamphlet as well and was putting it away. Harry noticed she had written down something on the back of the pamphlet, but didn't get a good look at it before she put it in her backpack. Harry put his in his backpack - he wanted to ask Lee about it later and why it had upset Ashley so much - and got out his notebook. If Ashley wasn't going to show, he would need to take extra good notes for her to look at it. And they'd have to be legible too.

"Good morning class," began Dr. Naomi, "Today we are going to talk about ethical situations involving cross species transfigurations, most notably those that result out of Farem's Law of Cross Species Transfigurations. As a review, this law talks about how the internal nature of animals you transfigure do not change their inner mind, their inner instincts, without special attention paid during the process.

"What sort of dangers can arise as a result of failing to take this law in to account?" she asked the class.

"Well," started Suzyn, "imagine if you tried transfiguring a mountain lion in to a kitty. People would assume it's a harmless little kitty, then it'd suddenly try to attack. Or the reverse! Imagine if you transfigured a kitty in to something like an elephant. It might try to jump on your lap and snuggle with you, but it'd crush you!"

Suzyn spent about five minutes without interruption offering pretty disgusting ways cross species transfigurations could do bad. When she paused to take a breath, Dr. Naomi replied, "Very good and inventive Suzyn. Any others?"

About twenty minutes in to class, Ashley came in to the class. Dr. Naomi raised her eyebrows slightly at the overly late Ashley, who replied, "Apologies Dr. Naomi."

She nodded. "And do you have any possible ideas about the dangers presented with Farem's Law?"

"Well. You could try to transfigure a mouse into a cat and it'd go nuts. Speaking from personal experience on that one."

"Excellent point. Imagine you transfigure a prey in to its natural predator without changing its mind. The prey would see the animal it has become and worry that it was under imminent attack. And the opposite holds true - if you transfigured a predator in to its natural prey, it might try to attack itself unless the mind has been changed as well.

"But this raises all kinds of ethical and moral questions beyond damage to itself."

Suzyn raised her hand. "Is it even ethical at all to be transfiguring some other creature's mind?"

"Right in one Suzyn. Animals are sentient beings - they can surely feel pain, and have their own desires. Is it ethical to impose your will on them? To change their inner nature?"

"What if they were trying to attack you?" asked a male student seated behind Harry. "And it was the only way to protect yourself?"

"What if indeed," replied Rev. Naomi. "Allow me to play Devil's Advocate. Is there no other way you could protect yourself except changing the inner nature of the animal? Could you not apparate away in most cases?"

"Well, probably. But the broader point remains. Surely there are cases where it would be the better of two outcomes. What about when you lead animals to slaughter? We eat a lot of animals after all. Wouldn't transfiguring their inner nature to reduce the pain they'd feel be a good thing?"

"Well," agreed Ashley, "it sounds like it'd be a good thing to reduce an animal's pain."

Dr. Naomi nodded. "But is there a way to reduce the pain the animal feels using other means, not just changing the animal's inner nature? After all, those transfigurations would be temporary, wouldn't they?"

"But," replied Ashley, "they would last long enough for the deed to be done, for the slaughter to take place. Even if this is changing it's inner nature, isn't it still good for the animal?"

"It depends on how you define good, and who decides what is best for the animal. Are you to decide what's best or is the animal to decide what's best? Is it good for the animal to not feel any pain, or is it good for the animal to retain its inner self up to the moment it dies?

"There are no right answers here. Some of you may assume that because I ask these questions, I think it's always wrong to transfigure animals. But yet I have my doctorate in transfiguration - you'd be wrong to assume I've never done it before. I ask you these questions to get you thinking. Especially because I want a one page paper due Friday on your opinions of the ethics of cross species transfigurations."

The class groaned, and she smiled. "I can't think of what else you'd rather be doing!"

—-

Before Harry had a chance to ask Ashley what was wrong, she had bolted out of the classroom and disappeared. Harry shrugged - if she wanted to talk about it, she'd find him out. He couldn't do much when she disappeared - a pretty clear sign she didn't want to talk about it.

He ran in to Lee after class at the coffee shop in Woodruff. Lee said he needed a recharge before his potions lab.

"So, what's up with this Church of the Redeemer that caused Ashley to get so angry?"

"I take it they don't have that in Britain or Australia?"

"Not that I'm aware of," replied Harry.

"Well. It's a magical church."

"Oh, really?" asked Harry.

"Yah. But I don't agree with them at all. They encourage people to break their wands and swear off doing magic. They think that potions, herbology, and care of magical creatures are ok because they don't involve any actual magic through wands. Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures are ok because they take care of God's gifts on Earth - they are essentially the same as Muggle farming, and think that's ok. Potions combines Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures, but they don't actually release any magic. There are some potions that require an infusion of magical energy, and they swear off those. Charms and Transfiguration are strictly forbidden," explained Lee.

"Oh."

"I'm sure there are folks majoring in Potions who are Stanleyites."

"What? Stanleyites?"

"Yah. That's what a lot of people not part of their church call them. The church itself is based in Dallas, but they have satellites all over the country, including the one in Atlanta."

"So why did Ashley get so angry?"

"Well. They're pretty controversial, as you can imagine. I don't agree with any of their teachings, for example."

"You don't?" asked Harry. Harry had thought some of what they had said on their pamphlet made sense. Spells weren't permanent after all, like they had said. But he wasn't sure their conclusions were right on the causes of that.

"No. They're way too strict for me. It's why I'm a Unitarian."

Harry nodded. Strict ways of living didn't seem to match up with Lee's faith. And Harry could see that snapping one's wand was a pretty strict way of living.

"But that doesn't explain why Ashley was so angry."

"Oh yah, she doesn't like the Stanleyites at ALL. One of her very good friends at Marietta Magnet was named Dana. Well, Dana's family converted one day an after that, they withdrew Dana from school. Dana bought it in to it all as well and tried to get Ashley to join her at that church. Ashley wasn't interested because she loved Transfiguration, but didn't want to hurt Dana's feelings, so she never spoke up about her real reasons for not wanting to go. Eventually Dana gave up trying to convince Ashley to come and it became this big source of tension between them. I'm not sure what caused the spark, but eventually they ended up having this huge fight and the two of them haven't spoken since. Dana doesn't even live in Atlanta anymore - the family went and moved to Dallas. I don't know if it was because that's where the church is based, but that's where they ended up. She hasn't forgiven the church for it - she thinks the church pretty much stole her best friend from her."

"Wow. I can see why she was angry But those blokes didn't seem all that bad. And you don't seem nearly as angry."

"I think part of it comes because she's still angry with herself for not trying to stop Dana sooner and tell her friend why she thought the church was a bad idea. Well, it's certainly a cause for tension between me and Ashley. See, Ashley has a negative impression of all religions as a result of her interactions with the Stanleyites. She hates it when I talk about my church, even though it's so different. She thinks all religions restrict folks like the Stanleyites do, and to be fair, a lot of Muggle religions, especially here in the South, are the same way."

"So do you hate them too?"

"I don't hate any religion. It's not a part of who I am. I don't agree with their teachings and the way they live their lives, but at the same time, I can acknowledge a lot of people clearly like the Church of the Redeemer, because they're big. So a lot of people must get answers there, even though they aren't my answers.

"I do draw the line at when their way of life tries to change mine. Every now and then they try to propose a law in the Wizarding Senate limiting the teaching of Charms and Transfiguration in school. But they've never been passed - there's always been a big uproar against them from enough people to get the bills stopped. I'm against those bills. They can believe whatever they want, but when they try to impose their theology on the entire country…that I've got problems with."

Harry pondered that. He didn't want to outright reject this group of people, because they clearly had some answers and clearly had developed a strong sense of morality. But he agreed that trying to pass laws enacting that code of morals on everyone in the country, including those that disagree, could lead to bad things. He thought about what the Ministry had become during the reign of Voldemort, and what happened when he tried to institute what he thought was right on all of Wizarding Britain, which led to countless deaths.

Lee had to run to make his Potions Lab, and headed out. Harry walked slowly to the Arithmancy building for his Intro class, still absorbed in this line of thought. Because in a way, in the time before and after Voldemort, weren't another group of people simply imposing their morality on the entire nation? It was a morality Harry agreed with, but clearly there were elements inside Britain that didn't agree with it, which led to Voldemort's revolution.

So in a world of competing systems of morality, which was the right one to choose? Which one was the right way for a country to follow? Harry wanted to say that a system of morality ended when it tried to harm someone else, but then who defines what's harming someone else? Voldemort thought he was saving Britain from Muggles, so he thought killing them was ok. But that was wrong. Did conflicting systems of morality end when someone was just physically harmed? Emotionally harmed? But Harry used his system of morality as a basis to kill Voldemort, hadn't he? Hadn't his friends and allies killed so many of his followers? Were they fighting to just protect themselves? Protect their system of morality? But wasn't Voldemort doing that too?

Harry suddenly, and once again, had more questions than answers. He wanted to keep thinking about this, but at the same time he had Intro to Arithmancy he needed to get to, and pay attention in. But he was suddenly faced with a question that worried him - was Voldemort simply trying to defend his system of morality against an opposing system of morality that he thought was out to destroy his way of life and his morality? And if that was the case, what did it mean?

Harry didn't know how he would begin answering these questions, but he couldn't stop thinking about them. He hadn't even noticed when Ashley came in to the Arithmancy classroom and sat besides Harry, and was started when she asked she could see his notes on the beginning of Transfiguration Ethics.

Harry turned in his seat to look at her. Harry was pretty sure she had been crying, but knowing what Harry now knew about her past, he wasn't surprised. But surely she had encountered these Stanleyites before - did she always get that emotional, that angry when confronted by them? They had billboards up in Five Points Alleys - every time she saw them, was she reminded of them?

Harry figured she did not want to talk about it, especially in the middle of a classroom. Harry said sure, and got his notes from the Ethics class and handed them over to her. She managed a slight smile, and began copying down some of what Harry had written. She snorted, audibly, when she got to some of Suzyn's suggestions, or that might have been in response to what Harry wrote in the margins, "how does she come up with these weird situations?"

"Good morning class," began Dr. Hudson. "I've graded your quizzes from Friday, and we had some great scores and some not so great scores. I hope to see everyone doing better on our next quiz, which will be a week from today on some of the Geometry theorems that we covered Monday and that we'll cover the rest of this week. These theorems are essential for all kinds of magic, especially warding which takes in to account the total volume of space being warded. But let me go ahead and pass out the quizzes. When I call your name, come on up here."

Harry got his quiz and was quite pleased to see he got a 98. He glanced over to Ashley, who was beaming. He raised his eyebrows, and she showed him her paper - she had gotten a perfect score. Harry was happy for his friend - she needed some good news today. Harry skimmed the quiz and saw the one theorem he had missed, and rolled his eyes. It had been one of the flashcards, and he really ought to have gotten that one right.

—-

After class, Harry and Ashley walked to the student center. They were going to get to the meeting of ELVES pretty early, over an hour early. "Hey, Ashley, want to go bowling?" asked Harry. He remembered how she had wanted to go bowling last week, and thought it might cheer her up.

Despite it being a pretty transparent ploy, at least based off the look she gave him, she agreed. The two of them headed over to the bowling alley in Woodruff Hall. They had about 10 lanes, along with some billiards tables on a different side of the large area.

"So Ashley. You know I've never been bowling before, right?"

"You haven't?" she exclaimed.

"Nope. What do I do?"

"Well, first we need to get a pair of shoes."

"I'm already wearing shoes."

"Ok, you need a special pair of shoes."

"Why?"

"So you don't stick and fall flat on your face. Just follow me and get a pair of shoes."

"Wow. These are…bright."

"Yah, I guess it's to make sure you don't steal them. Now, come on, we're on lane 5. You need to get a ball. Go up and down and find one that fits your right hand pretty well. Oh, you don't know how the fingers go. Ok, I'll show you."

She headed over and got a bright pink ball, putting her middle and ring fingers in the two holes at the top and the thumb in the bottom. "This is how you hold the ball," she demonstrated, "now go find one that fits your hand. It'll probably be one of the darker balls - they're heavier than the brighter ones."

"Ok." Harry returned to the lane with a dark green ball. "This one fits well."

"Now at most muggle bowling alleys, they have computers that keep score. But since this is a magical alley, we have to do it all by hand. The only positive to magical bowling is that the pins get set back up really quickly and the ball return never malfunctions, like they can do in muggle bowling alleys. We'll have to go muggle bowling sometime soon. Those are the only real differences though. This stuck pretty true to form when coming over into the magical world. Now, I'll go first, so watch how I do it. Your goal is to knock down as many pins as possible without getting it into one of the gutters. Those are the things along the sides of the alley that prevent your ball from hitting any pins. You get two chances to knock down all the pins. Do you want to know how the scoring works? Of course you do. See, a strike-"

Harry tried to follow the instructions for scoring, but was pretty confused by the end. He agreed to just let her keep score and he would try to knock down as many pins as possible. Without using any charms or anything. Apparently there had been some cases of cheating before, and all bowling pins had been charmed to be resistant to different spells, both in magical and muggle bowling alleys.

She lined up and threw the ball down the lane, knocking down nine of the pins. Harry was impressed, and tried to emulate her style when it was his turn. It took him about half the game to get the hang of it - he had gotten all gutters and was pretty embarrassed, although Ashley couldn't help but to laugh at a couple of his first tries. He thought he ended the game with a respectable 38 pins, until he saw Ashley's score of 153.

"Wow. You're good."

"Well," said Ashley, "I'm not THAT good. You're just THAT bad." She grinned.

"Hey, it was my first time! Let's try again!"

"Maybe another time James. We've got to get to the ELVES meeting."

—-

The two of them headed upstairs to the meeting rooms and saw the ELVES banner. They were still a little early, but helped themselves to some pizza and talked more about Harry's first bowling experience. Eventually the meeting got started, just a few minutes late, and the Head Elf began the meeting.

"Ok everyone who signed up for the tutoring at Marietta Magnet, we've got your first assignments here for this first week. If you can't make one of your sessions, you need to let the school know as soon as possible so they can make arrangements. And if you don't think you'll be able to do your regular schedule, talk to the on site coordinator Ms. Riley as soon as you realize it. They do schedule these things out in advance, but understand if you can't make it because you have a test coming up or something. But communication is the key - they rely on us, and as thanks they're the ones who provide us with these pizzas for our meetings and the snacks they have on site. When I call your name, come on up here and get your schedule."

Harry got his and noted he would be tutoring or helping with classroom demonstrations Wednesday afternoons from 4:00 to 6:00 after his Intro to Arithmancy class, and tutor Saturday mornings from 11am to 2pm. He wouldn't have a lot of time to get there and back on Wednesdays, so he figured he would floo. If he finished with his running group early enough on Saturdays, he'd drive over.

He compared schedules with Ashley and Lee. None of them ended up being there at the same times. Ashley was slotted to help with classrooms on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with Lee tutoring in the morning on Saturdays before Harry. Harry was catching some of the enthusiasm from Lee and Ashley about the tutoring, and was already looking to his first session that would be this Saturday.

"When you get there for your first day," said the Head Elf, "find the office, or ask directions if you get lost, although if you floo over that's where you end up, and say you're from the ELVES and need to see Ms. Riley. Then she'll take you around and get you to where you need to be. Now, we aren't always 100% sure what the kiddos will need help with, but you tend to work with the younger years, the sixth through eighth graders the most." Harry, having no clue what she meant by sixth through eight graders, made a note to ask Lee and Ashley about that later. He didn't know much about the American education system, although he assumed they weren't the same as 6th years at Hogwarts - that would make them older students, not younger.

She explained that they had plenty of textbooks and binders of class notes in the tutoring room at MMM that they could use if they were stuck on something. A lot of the kids needed help with practicing spells mostly, so it was mostly on the practical side. There would be updated calendars posted on the walls with which years had which tests in which classes when, so they had an idea of what kind of questions to expect. They were mostly to focus on tutoring in their one subject, but if they could help with other subjects depending on the question, they were encouraged to do so. If they were a classroom helper that day, they were to report to the teacher and they would give further instructions. If they were slotted to help in a classroom that didn't need any help that day, they could either leave or help out in the tutoring room. But they hoped they would go and help tutor, because sometimes another teacher suddenly needed help and would ask for help in the tutoring room from any ELVES that were there.

When they were done with tutoring, they were to check out with Ms. Riley. They needed to keep track of hours for everyone, and who was in the volunteer room. They had to have at least two tutors in the tutoring room at all times, and if they were the only one there they needed to go get Ms. Riley to be in the room with them.

After some more light introductions to the tutoring program, the meeting ended. They would talk more about the Project Open Hand volunteering next week. When the meeting ended, Harry, Lee, and Ashley headed their separate ways. Harry still wanted to talk with Ashley about the whole Stanleyite thing, but he wasn't sure how to bring it up. He wasn't sure if by flat out asking, she'd be angry at Lee for telling her what happened.

He ended up deciding not to ask about it. If she wanted to, she could approach him. He decided to make a special effort to do more with her in the upcoming week, more bowling or something. Harry was too stuck in his own mind anyhow. He knew he needed to think over more about the whole competing systems of morality thing, and he wanted to think more about that Church of the Redeemer and about the Stanleyites. He wanted to come to his own decisions about the church and their teachings, not just go based off what Lee had told him. Harry apparated back home, vowing to think more about his ethical questions from earlier about Voldemort.


	14. Chapter 14 Fears that make us rigid

Chapter 14 - Fears make us rigid and inaccessible

A/N: Big chapter this chapter. Dun dun duuuuuun! As usual, a big thanks to all those who leave a review and those who have added this story to C2s or favorited it. And I've even got a little cliff hanger at the end. I don't own any of the characters or anything.

Harry spent most of Wednesday evening thinking more about the ethical situation that arose out of competing systems of morality back in Britain. He still knew that he was right to get rid of Voldemort and it went beyond just a difference of morality and a difference of opinions. Harry began to think that it was just wrong to kill someone, morally wrong, no matter what happened. And that led to some more uncomfortable thoughts.

Yes, it was understandable that his friends needed to protect themselves, and as a result killed their attackers during the Battle of Britain. Harry hadn't actually killed Voldemort in the final battle - Voldemort had his own killing curse reflected back on him. He had destroyed the horcruxes, but that mostly united Voldemort's soul into one body, rectifying a wrong. The only person Harry had a direct role in killing had been Quirrell back in his first year, but even then Harry imagined it was more his mother's sacrifice than Harry actually doing anything. Harry went back to thinking about the first principle of Unitarian Universalism - he had went back and reread the pamphlet, and it talked about the inherent worth and dignity of every individual.

Did that really mean everyone? Harry immediately thought back to Voldemort. Did he have any kind of worth and dignity at all? He was a terrible man, killed countless people, caused so many lives to be ruined. Even as a kid he was pretty evil. But yet, he loved his stupid snake. Surely there was some kind of redeeming quality in him, somewhere. But just because he had some kind of inherent worth and dignity didn't mean he was a good person and didn't deserve to be stopped. Yes, he thought Voldemort and the Death Eaters were certainly evil, but did that make them Evil? Even the Malfoys cared about their son.

If there had been any way to stop Voldemort without killing him, would Harry have done it? He couldn't answer. Voldemort's death was the only guaranteed way to end the Dark Times and bring hope back to Britain. Well, hope to many people, not hope to everyone.

Harry had trouble saying there was an absolute right or wrong. He was beginning to develop a pretty strict personal moral code, but that didn't make it universal. But Harry decided that ending Voldemort's reign was the correct thing to do as in the end it had saved more lives than it cost. Harry wasn't sure if he could ever do something like that again, however. Did one life mean more or less than a group of lives? Wasn't each life priceless?

Harry had trouble sleeping that night. He knew he had done the right thing but was clearly having trouble justifying it. Harry realized that in battles of differing moral codes, he could only go with the one that felt right to him and try to defend it. There was no way to tell which was The Right One, only the one that was right for him. Harry still wasn't satisfied with that answer, but he couldn't come up with anything better, and finally let sleep take him that night.

When Harry woke the next morning, he felt better. He realized he had taken another step towards healing, and had a better understanding of why some of what happened in Britain had happened. He was still pretty confused, but had at least started thinking about it, and that was indeed an important start. He wanted to journal some of his thoughts down, but was beyond running late and was about to miss his Freshmen Writing class. He grabbed the one page paper due that day on a current event, ran to his car, and headed to Emory.

The highlight of Harry's day had been, by far, his ceramics class, which was rapidly becoming his favorite class, at least his favorite muggle class. He found Intro to Religions his more interesting class, but Ceramics was a nice stress reliever. He was excited to see how his glaze on his first hand molding attempt, the sunflower, turned out. If it turned out well, he would start to practice hand molding at home.

When he arrived, he greeted Joey, and immediately went to the back of the room where the completed projects were organized and searched for his sunflower. There it was, and it had turned out pretty good. Some of the glaze had run during the firing and knew that meant he had used too much. But all in all, it had turned out pretty good for his first attempt. He went back to his table and swapped pieces with Joey. They were supposed to give each other feedback on their entire pieces, and they had a form they were supposed to fill out that was a critique. Joey's cross had turned out well, but boring. Harry thought it needed some different color glazes to show different emotions, and made a note on his form.

Friday passed with out incident, and although Carolyn wanted everyone to go out again Saturday, both Harry and Lee declined (although Ashley told Carolyn she was in, and the two of them made plans to go shopping.) Harry was excited about his first round of volunteering at Marietta Magnet, and Lee said he had a big potions project he wanted to work on. Carolyn told him it could wait, but Lee wanted to get it over with.

Lee turned to Harry and asked Harry, "So, remember what we talked about last week?"

Harry blanked. "No?"

Lee rolled his eyes. "Remember, I asked if I could come over and use your potions lab? Is that still ok?"

"Oh!" exclaimed Harry. "Sure Lee. When were you wanting to work on it?"

"I was thinking Sunday after church. I need to spend Saturday after my tutoring session prepping for it. Then I could come over after church and work on it."

"And he has a date Saturday night!" Ashley interjected.

"Oh, he does?" asked Carolyn with a grin. "Where?"

"Like I'm telling any of you. I don't want you to accidently show up. Anyway," he said turning back to face Harry, "would that work?"

"Sure. If your boyfriend doesn't get too jealous," said Harry.

Ashley and Carolyn burst out laughing, and Carolyn gave him a high 5. Lee blushed and said, "I'll see you Sunday. 9 am like last time? You don't have to cook again."

"No, I want to. See you at 9!"

Harry headed back home and decided to spend the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing that required thought. It had been such a long week on his emotions and brain - from the church service to Wednesday's experience with the Stanleyites to his normal class routine. Harry decided he wanted to go see a movie. He had heard his friends talk about seeing a movie, but wasn't sure where to go.

He pondered on what to do, and decided to see if any of his muggle friends wanted to go see a movie. He didn't want to invite Joey because he was pretty sure Joey would end up making a ton of really bad puns like usual, and imagined he would get pretty aggravated if he had to deal with it outside of class. He decided to see if Chappell and Sarah wanted to go catch a movie. He knew they both lived on campus, but since he had a car, they might want to get off campus for a while. He called them up, happy he had remembered to write down their phone numbers in his palm pilot, and they both said sure. Sarah said she had wanted to go see The Truman Show, having heard great things about it. It had been out for a couple of months, but she still hadn't gone to see it yet. Chappell said sure, and asked if Harry would mind going out afterwards to a grocery store so he could buy some things. Harry told both of them he'd pick them up at the Student Center at 6:30, so they could get to the theater by 7:00.

At 6:25, Harry pulled up by the Student Center. He realized Chappell and Sarah didn't actually know each other, and as a result were standing next to each other, not talking, not realizing whom the other was.

Harry waved in their general direction, and Harry laughed at the surprised looks on their faces. Sarah moved to get in the front seat, and Chappell opened the door for her. After Sarah got in, Chappell closed the door and headed in to the backseat.

"So, hi. Sarah, this is Chappell. Chappell, this is Sarah."

Hellos were exchanged, and Sarah asked how they knew each other. "Oh, well, me and Chappell are in Running Club together. And Sarah and me are in the same English class, and I've started going to her church with another friend of mine."

"Cool," replied Chappell. "So Sarah, what dorm are you in?"

It turned out Chappell and Sarah lived in dorms right next to each other, despite never having met each other before. They weren't in any of the same classes, but did have the same professor for one class. The two of them talked about the professor, who apparently had a very strong Eastern European accent based off how Chappell was trying to imitate.

The three of them made light conversation until Harry pulled in to the movie theater. He had done his homework ahead of time this time, and had gotten out the maps and figured out good directions to get from campus to the closest movie theater, which did indeed have The Truman Show playing.

Harry didn't want to admit he had never been to a movie theater before - they'd probably find it odd, so he ended up just following whatever Sarah and Chappell did. First up was actually buying the ticket, then they gave the ticket right back as soon as they got inside (which Harry couldn't understand the reason for, but went with it.) Chappell wanted a coke to drink, which sounded good to Harry, so the two of them went up to the snack counter. Harry ended up getting the smallest bag of popcorn they had, which still ended up being larger than he had expected, and a gigantic cup of coke.

Chappell had to run and use the restroom, so after they found some seats in the theater he quickly excused himself.

"So, quick, what's his deal James?"

"Eh?"

"Is he single? He's hot."

"I don't know. Never asked."

"Big help you are. Here. Let me sit in the middle. OK, thanks. Say, where's Lee? Couldn't make it?"

Harry shrugged. He hadn't even asked if Lee wanted to come since he had figured Lee would be busy with that potions assignment. "I saw him earlier today and said he had a lot of homework."

"Did you hear about him and Jim?"

"I did."

"You aren't weirded out or anything by it, are you?"

"No, why would I?"

She grinned. "Good. Just making sure. Oh, Chappell's back. I never asked you about if he had a girlfriend."

Harry shrugged and nodded. Chappell sat back down and made small talk with Sarah and to some extent Harry until the lights got pretty dark. The theater wasn't that crowded - Sarah explained the movie had been out for a couple of months and as a result not a lot of people were going to see it. They were lucky it was still in the theaters at all.

Harry was blown away, but was surprised that the movies were only about a minute long each. He then realized, based off a comment that Sarah had made about previews, that they weren't the actual movie. They were just an advertisement for future movies. After about ten minutes of these, the actual movie began.

And so began Harry's love affair with movies. He loved how loud the sound was; sometimes he could feel the vibrations inside. He loved how huge the screen was - so much better than watching television. And the movie they were at had a great story. This guy was living in a television program, but didn't know it was a television program.

His entire life had been scripted out for him, all of the major events. And although he had never known, weird things had been happening lately and Truman was beginning to get a little suspicious. The director fought back, but by the end of the movie Truman had discovered the truth and was faced with a choice - go back to what he had always known, or go into the real world. And Truman had picked the real world.

Harry was incredibly moved by the movie. He really saw himself as Truman, especially in that last scene. He had to choose between going back to a life where everyone was watching him, a life where most of it had been planned out except a few chaotic events, and moving into the unknown future in a different place than he had lived his entire life. Harry felt a lot better knowing that Truman had made the same decision Harry had made - it further eased Harry's mind, and Harry vowed to buy a copy of the movie as soon as he could.

After the movie, the three of them talked about it some and Harry mentioned how he could really relate to Truman. Both Chappell and Sarah were interested in why, but Harry realized he had spoken more than he had anticipated, and clammed up. He said he had to go use the restroom to duck out of the conversation.

When he got back, he noticed Sarah and Chappell smiling at each other. Smiling to himself, he interrupted and said, "So Chappell, you said you wanted to hit up a store to get some things?"

"Right!"

"That'd be nice," added Sarah. "My parents live in Atlanta and they pick me up every Sunday to go to church, but it'd be nice to get a few things while I'm thinking about them. I'll probably forget what I need when I see them Sunday!"

Harry didn't know where there was a grocery store close by the movie theater, but knew where one was by his house. So he drove back to Emory and then back to the grocery store by his house. The three of them each bought a couple of bags worth of stuff before Harry dropped them back off at Emory. They both thanked Harry for taking them and agreed it was a great time and they ought to do it again soon. Harry waved, and told Chappell he'd see him tomorrow morning for their Saturday morning jog. And he told Sarah that he'd see her on Sunday.

—

Harry walked up where he saw Chappell and Phillipe stretching - apparently Harry would always be the last to arrive for these morning runs. He joined them in some light stretching, and the three of them were soon off on their morning jog through the campus.

Harry could tell a difference from last week. The entire group was able to run a bit faster this time around, although they stuck to the same hour long jog. When they finished, Harry wasn't nearly as winded as the week prior. And it showed.

"I can tell you've been practicing," Phillipe said. "Good job. I'm going to keep running for a bit - got a lot on my mind. I'll see you two next week!" Before Chappell and Harry could even reply, Phillipe took off.

Chappell and Harry looked at each other; Chappell shrugged, and started to stretch. Harry followed.

"That was a great movie last night, wasn't it?" asked Chappell.

"It was."

"So tell me more about your friend Sarah!"

"Well," began Harry, "I don't know her all that well. I'm better friends with a friend of hers, Lee. But she's pretty nice from what I've seen so far."

"And cute." Harry grinned. Misinterpreting the grin, Chappell quickly said, "Oh, sorry James. Didn't know she was spoken for."

"What?" asked Harry.

"Oh. You two aren't a couple?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "No."

"So, you wouldn't mind if I asked her out some time?"

"Go for it man."

"Think she'd say yes?"

Harry knew she'd say yes, but had a feeling he shouldn't be that upfront. "From what I know, even if she says no to you, I'm sure she'd want to be good friends with you. She wouldn't panic or anything, but I bet she'd say yes. Never know unless you try!"

"You're right. I will. I suggest we meet up to go to the dining hall later to talk more about the movie. I'll ask her then. Thanks James! I should head back and get dressed and everything. Gotta look my best! See you Tuesday?"

"Sure. Unless you've got a date."

"Here's hoping!" laughed Chappell.

—

Harry made it back home early enough and took a quick enough shower that he had the time to drive to Marietta Magnet for his first day of tutoring. But since it was his first time, he thought it would be better to floo. Harry fixed himself a quick snack, consisting of berries from his garden, and at 10:45 made his way upstairs to floo on over to Marietta Magical Magnet.

When he arrived out of the fireplace, Harry was greeted by…a pretty normal looking office. There was a secretary sitting behind the desk who looked up at him. "Are you one of the new tutors from Emory?"

"I am."

"Then you'll need to see Ms. Riley. Head down this hallway and she's the second door on your right. And welcome!"

"Thanks." Harry found the designated office and knocked at the closed door.

"Come in!"

Harry opened the office and was greeted by a nice, slightly older woman, with white hair and glasses. She was shorter than Harry and a bit larger. "Are you with the ELVES?"

"I am."

"And what's your name son?" she asked.

"James Black."

"Ah, welcome James. Just a little early - perfect. You signed up to help with Transfiguration and Defense, correct?"

Impressed by her memory, he nodded. "Transfiguration's my major."

"So why do you want to help with defense as well? I know Emory doesn't offer that."

"Well, I did really well in it during my secondary education."

She beamed. "Great! See, we don't get a lot of tutors from the ELVES who can help with defense, since it's not a major or a minor there. We've got several this year who can help with transfiguration. I figure we'll use you mostly to help tutor defense, but help out with transfiguration if it's needed. Sound like a plan?"

"Well, it's been a year or so since I had defense, and, well, it wasn't exactly a standard curriculum."

She looked pensive at this reply. "I really need the help with older students with defense, and most of that is dueling. Were you a good dueler?"

Harry nodded. He didn't want to give any details, but suffice to say, he was pretty good at it. "I might need to see what the spells are on the curriculum to better have an idea of how high of a level I could teach, but I'm sure I can help with wherever."

"It's been ages since we had someone who could tutor high level defense. If you would, it'd be a great help! We've got some students already in the tutoring room, why don't I show you there and give you a brief tour along the way, since I know you didn't come here."

The school had four different buildings, although he would mostly be in the main building, which they were in now. There was a building housing the dormitories, one floor for each of the years covered at Marietta Magnet. They had a lot of students who would commute, so the dorms were quite a bit smaller than the actual enrollment would suggest. They taught sixth through twelfth grades. One building housed classrooms for the sixth through eight grades, which they called the Middle School, and the other building housed classrooms for the ninth through twelfth grades. They had a large athletic field that served as both a Quidditch and a Quodpot field, and where they had the mandatory physical fitness classes.

They were in the main building which housed the library, dining hall, offices, the tutoring room, and more. The only time Harry would go to a different building was if a teacher needed a classroom helper that day. Other than that, he'd stick to the main building.

The classes had the same set up as Hogwarts. They didn't pick their electives until they reached the ninth grade, and they had a major series of exams at the end of the eight grade to get promoted up to high school and the final graduation exams, which sounded to Harry like what he imagined the NEWTs were like.

She took Harry in to the tutoring room. There was a wall that had a floor to ceiling bookshelf, with a copy of every year's textbook, and another shelf that was full of three ringed binders. "Those binders are the various classroom notes for each year and they auto update throughout the year. In it are also the course syllabi and such. If you ever want a copy of what your students are covering, let me know, and I'll make sure you get a copy you can take home. I'll go ahead and get you a copy of all the defense syllabi and calendars, especially the upper levels that I hope you'll be about to tutor. Over on that wall is the calendar of every test or scheduled quiz or major homework for each grade. It can be a little tough to read, but it's a lot easier if you tap your wand to one of the numbers at the bottom, which will filter the calendar by year."

Ms. Riley continued to show him a little more around the room, taking great care to point out where the snacks and the coffee maker were. Harry smiled and thanked her when she asked if she could get him a cup of coffee.

Harry saw a couple of people he recognized from ELVES helping different students at different tables, but no one he was friends with. Ms. Riley explained he would stay at one of the tables, and the students would come to him with any questions he might have. If it's slow, she recommended next time he bring some of his homework from Emory, but today he ought to skim through the textbooks and the class notes on defense and transfiguration if he had the time.

She waved her wand and saw a sign appear on the desk reading "James Black, Defense and Transfiguration." She smiled and told Harry that if he needed anything to come get her, and that it was ok if he didn't know an answer. If that happened, he should go get the textbooks and the binder of class notes, and look up the answer together with the student. She waved, and headed back to her office.

Harry noticed a couple of the students eyeing him. They looked so small - had he ever been that little? Granted, there were a couple of students there bigger than him, but Harry was more surprised at how big he was in comparison. Maybe he had grown a lot in his time in America.

"Mr. Black?" Harry turned to look at the kid approaching the desk from the right.

"Just call me James. And you are…"

"I'm Lucas. Lucas Ekuasin. I'm an eighth grader. I saw on your sign you can help with defense?"

Harry nodded. "Sure Lucas."

"You sound funny. Where are you from?"

"I'm from Britain and Australia. And it's not me who sounds funny, you do."

"Do not!" Lucas giggled. "Ok. I need help with defense. I didn't know they had a defense tutor this year! I've always had trouble with it."

"Well, what did you cover this week you don't understand?"

"All of it!" wailed Lucas.

Harry smiled patiently. "I'm afraid I'm going to need something more specific than that."

"Ok. We just started learning about boggarts, and I still don't understand what they are."

"Well, they change depending on the person."

"Why?"

"They can look inside you and sense what your greatest fear is. And since they like scaring people, they change in to your greatest fear."

Harry spent the next three hours doing his best to answer all the questions his students asked. Over the course of the three hours, he ended up working with 10 students. A lot of them came with a friend or two, so he was working with some students at the same time on the same topic. They were pretty spread throughout the younger years, although near the end he had a couple of older students ask for help. They told Harry that word had spread they had a higher level defense tutor for once, and that he should expect more of them to come next week. They were pretty excited to hear he would be there every Saturday, and he might end up helping on Wednesdays too. Harry took a break in between sets of students to get a snack, but by the time he was supposed to leave he was pretty hungry. He finished up with his last set of students, telling them all he had to go but would be back next week, and headed back to the office.

He checked out with Ms. Riley, who wanted to know how it went. She presented him with a full binder, explaining it was each year's defense syllabus with spells taught and the general course schedule for the entire year. She asked if he had felt comfortable teaching the older students, and he had.

"So I have you down for coming next Wednesday, correct?"

"That's right. From Four to Six."

"I expect that you'll need to help out with a defense class. Generally teachers help in each other's classes for demonstrations, but now that you're here we can ease some of that up. Some of the older years are covering dueling as I mentioned, and they need a partner. We've got enough ELVES who can help with Transfiguration to cover all those classroom spots, but I expect you'll be in high demand Mr. Black. If you ever find yourself with more availability, by all means we could use you here!"

Harry pondered. "Tell you what. You can make a note that if desperately needed, I could come in Friday afternoons for that same 4 to 6. But I'd rather not come in unless I'm really needed. Maybe you could tell me on Wednesday if any teacher needs a classroom assistant on that Friday?"

"Oh James," she exclaimed, "that would be absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much dear!" After checking out, Harry flooed back to his house.

Harry had a good time tutoring, better than he had expected to be honest. He was worried about a few things, first that he wouldn't be able to hold back when tutoring defense, but he was fine. The first classroom demonstration ought to be interesting in that aspect, to say the least. He was worried he'd just do a bad job, but his skills in leading the DA in his fifth year proved to be more than helpful when tutoring those kids. Harry felt a strong urge to keep tutoring those kids. He wasn't sure why. But something felt right, so he knew he would keep it up.

Harry spent the rest of the day studying for his English class. He had a big test later in the week on the history of the Transcendentalist movement, and knew it would be a tough one. He would spend most of the weekend studying for it, and wanted to get his Transfiguration Ethics paper out of the way before Monday rolled around.

At 8:00, Harry decided he had quite enough studying for the day, and his eyes were starting to see double. He decided to go out for dinner - he wasn't in the mood to cook, and he thought he deserved a treat anyways. He went down to the local pizza place called Mellow Mushroom and got himself a pizza for dinner.

When he got back home, completely stuffed, he decided to work some more on pottery. It was clear he needed some work on glazing, as his first attempts with the sunflower showed he had a lot more to work on. He headed upstairs to his magical practice room, got out the bag of clay, and began sculpting some more flowers. He wanted to keep trying the sunflower until he got the glazing right.

After crafting five more flowers, he pulled out the magical pottery instructional book and dried the clay using a spell. He then glazed the first one, and cast the kiln spell at it. The glaze still ran, but not as much as before. By the fourth flower, he had found the right amount of glaze to put on the flower so it would stick but not run all over the place.

He trashed the practice sunflowers and got to elaborately glazing the final flower. After the kiln spell, he beamed. The flower looked just has he intended it to look. He had no clue what he was going to do with it, of course, but he had gotten it perfect. He set it up on his bookshelf. He glanced at his watch and was stunned - it was already 1am! He had spent four hours working on the pottery and hadn't even realized it. He thought it had only been an hour.

Harry knew he had an early tomorrow - he was going to church with Lee, which meant cooking breakfast at 9 am, and after church Lee was coming over to use his potions lab to practice. Harry headed straight to bed.

—-

Harry overslept the next morning. Way overslept. He woke up at 8:45 am when he had been expecting to wake up around 7 am. Clearly, his morning jog was off. He bolted out of bed and got dressed, throwing on some decent clothes and his slowly fading Emory hat and headed down to the kitchen. Luckily, with a hat, he didn't have to worry about how terrible his hair looked when he had to wake up in a hurry.

He didn't really have the time to make waffles like last week, so Harry decided to cook up some omelets using fresh veggies from his garden. He would let Lee decide what he wanted in his omelet when he got there. Speaking of which, Harry heard the familiar ding of his floo, indicating someone had arrived. Harry headed upstairs to meet Lee.

"Morning Lee."

"Good morning James! How are you!"

"I'm tired - just woke up, need coffee. You?"

"I'm GREAT! Where should I leave my stuff for later?"

"Oh, the potions stuff? Just drop it off wherever looks good in the potions lab." Harry pointed at a door. "Through that door."

"Great. Thanks."

After Lee dropped off his bag, he followed Harry downstairs to the kitchen. "I'm thinking omelets today. Look through the big bowl over there - it's got veggies from my garden outside. Pick out whatever sounds good to you in an omelet, and I'll get the coffee started."

"Wow, nice spread James."

"Thanks." Harry was too busy getting the coffee pot going to pay much attention. He watched the drips slowly, agonizingly slowly, drip down into the coffee pot. Once there was enough for a cup, he quickly emptied the pot and started sipping it as soon as he got the cream and sugar in.

Harry had already finished his first cup when Lee had finished deciding what veggies he wanted for the omelet. He nodded to Lee and started to get to work on the omelets. Harry was just going to cook himself a simple spinach omelet, and Lee had gone for the spinach and tomatoes.

With Harry beginning to rapidly wake up from the coffee, he asked Lee why he was having such a great morning.

Lee blushed instantly. Harry had an inkling. "Good date last night, eh?"

"You sure you want to hear about it?"

"Might as well. I'm sure to hear about more soon," thinking to the soon to happen Chappell and Sarah romance.

"Well, it was great. He took me out to dinner and a movie; he borrowed his parent's car for it. Although he didn't tell his parents why, just that he was going to hang out with me. I don't think he's ready to tell his parents anything yet."

"Are you ok with that?"

"Sure. It was just a first date anyhow, and it's not like my mom knows anything either."

Harry nodded, and tended to the omelets. Nothing tasted worse than a burnt egg to Harry. "Well, I'm glad the date went well. Can't have any awkwardness at church."

Lee laughed. "No way. He's going to meet us there. He wanted to pick me up, but he understood I needed to come back here afterwards for studying. He thinks we are in chemistry together, by the way."

"Ok. Just keep me in the loop so I don't goof up in front of him or anything."

"Will do."

The two of them continued to make small talk while Harry finished up the omelets, which turned out even better than Harry had been expecting.

Soon the two of them were off to church, with Harry managing to make it there without getting lost once, or needing to ask for directions once either. The service that day, it turned out, was going to be a Blessing of the Pets service. People brought their pets to the service, and they would have a small blessing service. Neither of them had any pets to bring, but Harry thought it would still be an interesting service. Especially in light of his Ethics class on cross species transfigurations.

When they arrived, there were, of course, a lot of pets, but Lee saw Jim waiting outside and ran up to meet him. Harry laughed and followed behind. Soon they were at their usual seats, and Sarah walked in soon afterwards. Sarah sat down next to Harry and promptly told him, "James, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Chappell and I went to dinner last night in the dining hall and asked if I wanted to go out! Why didn't you tell me he might be interested?"

Harry laughed. "I didn't know until Saturday during our jog. I'm happy he got up the guts to tell you - he seemed a little nervous."

"We've got a date Tuesday night at a restaurant close by campus."

"Wait, you have a date?" asked Lee, grinning.

"Yes I do."

"That's great, with who?"

"One of James's friends." Lee looked at Harry inquisitively.

"Who?"

"Chappell. He's a buddy of mine from running club."

"Ooo. I saw them running last week. Was he the short one James?"

James nodded. Lee leaned forward and grinned at Sarah. "He was a cutie. Way to go!"

"Hey!" said Jim, poking Lee in the side. Lee turned around and although Harry couldn't see the look on Lee's face, whatever it was caused Jim to blush.

Because Jim hadn't told his parents yet, Lee and Jim were on their best behavior, although their hands touched a couple more times than they necessarily needed to. Harry thought the sermon was interesting - it was all about the role animals played in the lives of humans, especially pets. Harry remembered how much he loved Hedwig, and how he still missed her. One day he'd get another pet, but he still felt bad for Hedwig who died trying to protect him, and didn't want to get another pet while that wound still stung.

After the service, Harry joined the rest of the young adults for lunch. Jim clearly felt a little more open to be a couple with the rest of the lunch group, because Lee and Jim held hands throughout the entire meal, although they tried to keep it hidden from everyone's view. The table talked about the service some, and Harry got to know some of the other members of the young adult group, although he still couldn't remember their names.

After lunch, Harry and Lee headed back to Harry's house.

"So Lee, feel free to grab whatever you need. I think I'm going to run for a while in my gym, so if you get hungry, need a drink or anything, help yourself. Once I'm done, I'll probably be all over the place, most likely studying or working outside in the garden if you need me."

"Great. Thanks James."

—-

When they got back, Lee grabbed a coke and headed upstairs to work in the potions lab. Harry decided to change out of his church clothes and in to workout clothes, and begin running. He wanted to increase the speed this time and go for an hour and fifteen minutes.

Harry got in to the zone pretty quickly and completely forgot that some weird potions experiment was going on just above his head. Harry heard someone going down the steps about fifty minutes in to his run, then back up about ten minutes later. Harry kept on going, hitting his goal in both speed and time. After cooling down and stretching, Harry headed in to his bedroom to take a nice long shower.

He took off his running hat - which acted as a sweat collector, which caused him to never wear the hat except when he ran - and tossed it aside. He stripped down and let himself melt into his three shower heads.

Harry stepped out of the shower thirty minutes later, and wondered how he wanted to spend the rest of the day. He'd gotten most of his muggle work done yesterday, and figured he ought to spend the day studying for his Arithmancy test on Wednesday and finishing up the paper for Transfiguration Ethics.

He put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and headed upstairs to get his Arithmancy and Transfiguration Ethics textbooks. When he climbed the stairs he physically ran into Lee, who was just coming down the stairs.

"Oh, sorry James, I was on my way down to get another coke."

"No worries man. I had almost forgotten you were here."

Harry got up first and grabbed Lee's arm and pulled him upright. Lee's jaw suddenly dropped, and he turned a little pale.

"Did I pull too hard? Sorry Lee."

"Uh."

Harry peered quizzically at Lee. "What's up mate?" Then it suddenly hit Harry like a ton of bricks. Harry had forgotten to wear another hat, and Lee's eyes were transfixed on a familiar spot on Harry's forehead.

Harry froze. The only thing he could think was, "oh crap."


	15. Chapter 15 Blind to the needs of others

Chapter 15 - Blind to the Needs of Others

A/N: I hope I did justice to the second scene in here. I don't think it quite came out as I had expected. Just imagine Harry's fighting an internal battle about trust in that scene - that's what's intended! Thanks as usual to everyone leaving a review, reading this story, adding it to favorites, etc. I do read and take the comments in to account - I'll add in more tutoring (including a previously unscheduled edition in this chapter which made this chapter huge and take a little bit longer than anticipated) and work in a transfiguration lab. Just passed 10,000 hits on the story, and now 11,000, which makes me want to write even more :-) So in thanks, here's a sneak preview - I've got up till Chapter 18 outlined - Chapter 18 and 19 are going to be something like the mini-climax of Harry's first semester. (For someone who hates outlining, this is a fairly substantial achievement.) Ok, enough rambling, let's go!

"Uh." Lee still hadn't managed a coherent sentence, and stood staring at Harry's forehead.

And Harry didn't have any more of an eloquent reply. Harry still didn't know what he should say. He wasn't ready for it - he still had more healing to do. His heart was pounding so hard he was sure Lee could hear it. Seriously. was his scar that big of a deal that even people in America knew about it?

Granted, the Daily Prophet had just run that edition, and Harry had it in his house. That could be part of the reason why there was instant recognition.

How could he have been so stupid as to forget his blasted hat when Lee was in his house? He typically didn't wear the hat indoors unless he was working out or gardening, and he didn't even think about Lee.

And now his cover was blown up spectacularly, and Harry wasn't ready for it.

"…Hah….Harry….Potter?" asked Lee.

Harry closed his eyes. This was really happening, and it was happening before he was ready. Oh God, what if Lee told other people? Harry had the sudden vision of an article in the Wizarding Times.

"Lee. You can't tell anyone," blurted out Harry before he had even fully developed a plausible enough sounding reason why Lee couldn't tell anyone.

"I. Harry? Harry Potter? You aren't James Black? I assume James didn't disappear somewhere…" Harry imagined trying to play it off that he was just visiting James, but knew that it wouldn't work. Lee wasn't dumb - he would be able to see right through it.

"No. It's me. Harry. James."

"James. You're Harry Potter."

Harry cringed, and had the sudden concern Lee would turn in to some kind of fan boy.

"Yes?"

"I'm an idiot."

"What?" asked Harry.

"I need a drink," replied Lee.

"Uh, mate, I don't have anything strong. I'm not of age yet in America."

"Right. Right. Ok," Lee started to speak quicker, "You're Harry Potter and I'm an idiot."

"Why are you an idiot?"

"Because!" Lee began to shout. "I should have figured it out, AND NOW I'm making myself look like an idiot! You sure you don't have anything stashed away?"

Now Harry was even more bewildered. "No. What do you mean you should have figured it out?"

"I briefly wondered if you were Harry Potter last week after the article, but didn't think about it again because of, well, Jim. Distracted me. But signs were there. I think. You're really Harry Potter? You aren't James Black? You aren't from Australia?"

"Yes, I'm Harry. But I am also James Black. And no, I've never been to Australia. You can't tell anyone Lee. I'm not ready."

"You aren't ready? Hell, I wasn't ready to find out. Of course you aren't ready, look at that stupid paper from Britain. But why did you keep up the lie?"

Harry snapped. "You SAW that paper! You saw what I have to deal with over there? You think I ever asked for it? I never asked for it. I had to leave - Lee, I HAD TO LEAVE. So many people I cared about died. Every time I thought about something, I thought about death. I EVEN DIED!"

"Uh, you're alive Harry."

"I HAD DIED. It's just, I can't talk about it." Harry shut his mouth abruptly and started to realize he would have to leave Atlanta. Tonight. Just when he had started making a new life for himself in his new home, just when he was getting new friends and starting to fit in and really start to enjoy life again, he'd have to leave. He thought that maybe he ought to go to Australia after all.

Harry's thoughts about fleeing were broken, completely shattered in fact, by a sudden hug. Lee caught him completely off guard, and pulled Harry in for a hug. Harry broke. He couldn't do it. The thoughts of leaving again were too hard. Would he have to leave every month? He started to sob, not a soft cry, but sobbing of the body wracking, dry heaving variety. Lee started patting his back, but Harry wouldn't let go.

"It's ok Harry. I won't tell anyone. It's ok. You're safe."

Harry didn't know how much time had passed until he let go of Lee. The words Lee had been saying softly in Harry's ear had finally connected in his brain.

"You won't tell?"

"Of course not. Did you really think I would?"

"I'm sure people would pay a lot of money to know where I am. And I figured you'd be angry with me for lying to you and do it out of spite."

"Harry! You don't know me at all. First off, can I call you Harry? I really should have asked before I started. I could call you Harry here and James everywhere else."

Harry shook his head. "Just call me James. I don't think I'd be able to stand it if anyone else found out right now."

"Clearly. You're pretty strong you know."

"Eh?"

"The hug. Ouch. I'm kidding!" Lee said in response to the look on Harry's face. "So, James, no way I would betray your trust like that. Yes, of course I wish you had told me the truth, but I understand why. Jesus, just look at that newspaper article. I totally get why you left Britain. Does, does ANYONE know you're you? Ok, that sounded dumb. But does anyone know who James Black really is?"

"Two people. A storekeeper on Diagon Alley in Britain and Dr. Naomi, both sworn to secrecy."

"Dr. Naomi knows?"

"I had to get into Emory somehow."

"Just give me a moment. It's not every day you realize the guy who in a roundabout way helped you hook up with a friend is totally famous and saved an entire country. Just one second."

Lee closed his eyes and began breathing deeply. This looked like a good idea to Harry, who soon followed suit. He tried to meditate like they did in church during the service. But Harry's attempts to clear his mind were laughable. His thoughts were shooting a mile a minute, mostly centered around beating himself up for being so careless. And general, all purpose despair.

"OK," Lee began after a few minutes of silence. "I'm back. And I'm sorry for freaking out like that. I really should have handled that better. I have just a couple of questions, if you're willing-"

"-Quick, before I lose the nerve," replied Harry.

Lee nodded. "Ok. Are you planning on telling anyone else?"

Harry shook his head. "I hadn't planned on telling YOU yet. I was just stupid and forgot to cover the scar. Eventually I will tell people, but not yet. I just, I just need to heal more. You know?"

"Of course. Next question, do you expect to be attacked by folks who followed that Lord Voldemort guy?"

"No. They don't know where I am, and since I killed, well, helped to bring about the death of Voldemort, they haven't said a peep. A lot of them died, or were arrested anyhow."

"I only ask that because I'm so not good at defense, and wouldn't be much help in a fight. I mean, look at me - I'd run away squealing-"

Harry laughed, and he surprised himself that he managed to laugh when he was still completely freaked out. "If they did come, I imagine I could handle it."

"Oo. Bodyguard! You need to be our bodyguard." Harry smacked his arm, and Lee replied, "Oh, you can't sing anyways."

"Eh?"

Lee waved it off. "Movie from a couple of years ago. Ok. Now, if you need someone to talk to about everything, you can come to me. Call me, floo me, whatever. I care about you James - and not because you're Harry Potter, but BECAUSE you're James Black, a good friend. If there's something you don't want to talk with Dr. Naomi about, I'm your guy."

"Are you going to be able to keep this a secret from Ashley and Carolyn and Jim and Sarah and-"

"Yes. I don't even know how'd I begin to explain it to muggles that you really aren't James Black and you're Harry Potter. They wouldn't have any idea who Harry Potter is, of course, but they would want to know why you came in with a different name. When you do plan to tell them, you'll need to think of a good story." Seeing Harry's nod, Lee continued, "do you plan on coming out, so to speak, to Ashley and Carolyn anytime soon?"

"No. I need more time. I will eventually - it'll become too hard not to be my real self eventually. But not yet. I don't have a time frame when I'll feel ok about it."

"Then I won't bring it up again."

"Thanks Lee."

"Are we ok?"

"Are we?"

"I think we are," replied Lee. "You still ready to have a panic attack?"

"I don't think I am. And I think we're ok. But forgive me if I'm totally weird around you for a bit."

Lee laughed. "I'm used to that. If anyone picks up on it, I'll tell them you finally realized I was hitting on you last week."

"Ok, wait - what?"

—

After a parting hug, Harry went downstairs to think more about what it all meant, and Lee went back to restart his potion - the impromptu meeting had caused his potion to boil over.

Harry went to his study and closed the doors. He needed to be alone for a while, and doubted Lee would disturb him anyhow, especially after Harry had gotten himself caught.

He had no choice but to trust Lee, and deep down Harry knew he had no reason not to trust Lee. But Harry had trouble trusting. His friends had let him down before - sure, he could count on them when the final battle came in Britain, but they were just as much fighting for their own lives as his own. And he knew he hadn't shown trust in them - after all, he tried to wait until after he left Britain to tell his friends he was leaving.

Trust didn't come naturally to Harry. It wasn't something he had ever learned from the Durselys, and had trouble with it in Hogwarts. He tried to trust his friends, but Hermione and Ron had occasionally let him down - Ron more so than Hermione. His professors had certainly let him down - he had never known which ones he could trust, when. Dumbledore had broken his trust and always seemed to keep him in the dark until the last possible moment. Harry wanted to trust people, but it wasn't his natural instinct. But he wanted to trust; he wanted to trust until proven wrong, and not distrust someone until they had been proven trustworthy. It would be tough; he would need to remind himself to trust, and specifically to trust Lee.

But if he could trust Lee, why didn't he also assume he could trust Ashley? Carolyn? Harry bit his lip. He HAD come to America with the assumption he could trust no one. Would he be able to let his instinctual barriers down and start trusting people like he wanted to?

He felt that Britain's public had proven themselves untrustworthy for the time being in light of the Daily Prophet and the actions against the goblins. But did that mean he couldn't trust anyone in Britain? Could he not even trust Neville, whom he relied on at the end? Just because Neville was in Britain, did that make him inherently untrustworthy?

Harry wanted to make trust his default setting, but he had done a poor job of it. How could he rectify it? Could he? Was he emotionally ready to? Had he been healed enough? Harry thought back to sobbing hysterically on Lee's shoulder and realized that perhaps he hadn't healed quite enough yet. But he wanted to start moving towards trusting people and waiting to be proven wrong. Yes, it might hurt and yes, people might inevitably turn out to be untrustworthy. But assuming that in people began to feel wrong to Harry; it felt like he was prejudging them.

He had just left a situation where he couldn't trust anyone. He didn't know who was out to kill him. He would have to work on it for a while, but he was no longer in the middle of a war. He needed to start moving on from the mindset he had when he was fighting for his life.

He had…no clue how to start. But he knew he had better defined the route he needed to take.

—-

Harry spent the next couple of hours trying to work on his Transfiguration Ethics paper, but had trouble concentrating, for pretty obvious reasons. Lee had come and gone - he had finished the potions project and needed to get back to his apartment, but wanted to make sure Harry was ok. Harry nodded and smiled, and Lee popped back to his apartment after making sure one last time Harry would be ok. Harry went back to his paper, trying to get the words to come out.

After another hour, he had finally gotten the page finished but knew it wasn't that great. But it was good enough for now. Harry was in no mood to cook, so he decided to head down somewhere 100% completely muggle and get a bite to eat. He decided to head to the Mellow Mushroom again and get a bite to eat. The place was decorated…strangely he had to admit. Lot of different colors and things on the wall. But he needed to feel anonymous this evening, and needed to be reminded that still a normal life was possible.

"Hey, I know you," said the waitress. So much for anonymity, Harry thought to himself.

"Pardon?"

"You were in here just the other night, weren't you?" Ah. That he was. Harry had been worried she recognized him from somewhere else.

"Yah."

"So what'd you like to drink?"

Harry ordered a coke and a small specialty pizza. When the waitress arrived with his drink, she asked him, "So, just you?"

Harry stared at her. "Yes."

"Not waiting on anyone?"

"No."

"Oh. Because a good looking guy like yourself-"

Harry wanted to cut off that train of thought quickly. "-I just needed to be alone tonight. Alone."

She got the picture and headed to check on her next table.

—-

The next couple of days passed without too many incidents. Monday had been a high stress day, to say the least, and although Harry was terrified when he saw Lee in Intro to Transfiguration, Lee clearly had said nothing to anyone and wasn't acting any differently. Ashley and Carolyn though, clearly saw Harry more stressed than usual, but it took Suzyn commenting on it for Harry to actually reply.

"James - you look terrible. What's wrong?" asked Suzyn, as she, Ashley, and Harry walked to Transfiguration Ethics.

"Just. Not a lot of sleep. Really worried about one of my muggle classes right now." That seemed to be a safe enough excuse, but he didn't think they fully bought it. But it was enough to stop the conversation for now. Harry, frantically trying to change the subject, asked a question about their Transfiguration Lab later and the two of them were sufficiently distracted.

Harry had been looking forward to his all muggle day on Tuesday, where he didn't have to deal with looming questions about his identity. He could focus on just being himself, well, being James Black. The highlight of his day, by far, had been when he met up with Chappell for lunch.

"Dude! James! Thanks."

"For what?"

"Sarah! You were right, she said yes, and we've got a date tonight."

"Oh. Old news."

"What?" asked Chappell.

"Sarah told me," Harry replied with a small grin.

"She did! Did she say anything else?"

"Just that she was looking forward to it." Thinking back to his discussion on Sunday at church, before The Incident, as Harry had taken to calling it in his mind, "And she thinks you're cute. Or was that Lee? I forget."

"Lee?" asked Chappell.

"Oh, friend of mine. He's pretty cool."

"He thinks I'm cute?"

"Oh. Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

"Well, it's ok. But he's not going to try anything, will he?"

"Try anything?"

"You know," Chappell winked a couple of times and raised his eyebrows. Unfortunately, Harry had been drinking some from his daily Coke, and promptly spat it out all over Chappell.

"Hey!"

"Sorry. Here," said Harry handing Chappell a few napkins. "But you caught me off guard. No, Lee's got a boyfriend. If you've got a problem with that though, you realize Lee's one of Sarah's best friends-"

"-Oh, I'm ok with it in theory. But didn't really have to deal with it down in South Georgia. Only on the TV every now and then. Anyway - I guess I will be meeting her friends some day."

"I suppose."

"I'm probably going to be nervous for it though. Say," said Chappell with a sudden glint in his eyes, "you're friends with Sarah and her friends, and you're friends with me. Any way you can introduce us all in some kind of non-scary situation?"

Harry blinked. "What, like a party?"

Chappell beamed. "Yes! You live off campus, going to throw one any time soon?"

Everyone Harry knew seemed to want Harry to throw a party. And although everything in his gut was screaming at him to say no, his mind overruled his gut and said, "You know, I think I might just do that. How about Saturday night?"

Harry decided on a spur of the moment that hosting a party would be good for him, especially right now in his life. It would give him something to focus on instead of just mulling over The Incident more and more - he imagined he would have to do a lot of preparations for it. It would give him a way to focus on why he shouldn't flee Atlanta, and remember that he had friends in Atlanta who would support him. And it'd be a way to try and breach the muggle and magical parts of his life. It would have to be a muggle party, so he would have to speak in depth to his magical friends to give them warning.

"Saturday night sounds great."

"Let's say 7:00."

"Deal!"

"I'll invite Phillipe too so Sarah and I aren't the only ones you know."

When Harry got back home for the evening, he decided to make a list of who all he wanted to invite. He didn't want it to be too big, because, well, too many people might cause problems. He wanted to invite his magical friends Lee, Ashley, Carolyn, Suzyn (if she could behave in an all muggle environment), and his muggle friends Chappell and Sarah, Phillipe, Jim of course for Lee's sake, and he wanted at least another muggle to come so there'd be an even muggle/magical balance. He decided on the spur of the moment to invite Joey - the puns would be terrible, but he'd survive. He'd have to somehow figure out how his muggle friends would arrive, but figured Sarah or Jim could borrow their family's car and head over.

With the invitations set, he decided to start figuring out a menu. He didn't think of The Incident again for the rest of the evening.

—-

"Finally!" exclaimed Carolyn. "It's about time you're having a party. You said Saturday at 7, right? I'll totes be there."

Harry blinked, having no idea what totes meant, but assumed Carolyn would be there. "I also invited muggles you four," he said to Carolyn, Ashley, Suzyn, and Lee, "so no magic talk or anything."

"Of course. Can I invite Jim?" asked Lee.

"I was already planning on it."

"Ooo! We can meet the boooooyfriend?" asked Carolyn with a grin. "Sweet."

All four said they'd be there, although Ashley sounded somewhat quiet and Suzyn looked befuddled that she had even been asked. Although that might just be her hat of the day - a rainbow colored Top Hat with a dancing peacock on the top. Harry hoped Suzyn would leave off the magical hat for the party. Carolyn dragged Lee off to Potions, talking quickly together about the party. Harry shrugged, and headed with Ashley and Suzyn over to Ethics.

Harry had managed to work a little more on his paper that was due that day, and had made it not bad. Although not as good as his last one, it should be good enough. Harry was more worried about his Arithmancy quiz - he hadn't studied nearly as much for this quiz as the last one, although the quick review after Ethics and before Arithmancy helped him nail down some of the more obscure Geometric Theorems. Ashley's incessant quizzing certainly played a role as well. When he took the quiz, he felt pretty good about it. He knew there were two he had no clue on, but thought he did well on the other 48. Only time would tell, Harry supposed. But he gave himself a pass if he didn't do well on it - his studying routine had been shot to hell after all with The Incident, and didn't study much the night prior because of party planning.

As soon as he finished his Arithmancy quiz, he was allowed to leave the classroom, so he headed over to the floo node in Woodruff Hall and headed over to Marietta Magical Magnet. Today was either tutoring or classroom helper.

When he arrived, he headed in to greet Ms. Riley, and sure enough, he had been tasked to be a classroom helper that day. The sophomore, which Harry learned was 10th grade, defense class was starting work on different types of shields. Today they were working on the basic protego shield. He would help demonstrate the spell and help the teacher out with whatever else was needed for both the two different separate sophomore level Defense classes.

He followed Ms. Riley to the building housing the high school level classrooms, and took him up to the third floor defense wing. She knocked on one of the classrooms and entered, motioning for Harry to follow her.

"Mr. Humphreys, this is your Emory Assistant, James Black. He's here until 6:00. Class, you will treat James with the same respect that you each Mr. Humphreys, or your parents will hear about it."

The class seemed to gulp in unison, although Harry thought he had to have been imagining it. "Great! You're just a tad early James, go ahead and have a seat and when this class is over we'll talk just a little more before the sophomores come in."

It turned out Mr. Humphreys was just finishing up teaching a class of freshmen who were in the middle of a series on werewolves. Suddenly a loud bell started ringing. Harry resisted the urge to duck under the desk or run in to the hallways with his wand at the ready, figuring a loud alarm bell ringing couldn't mean anything good. Pretty much in unison, the class stood up and made it's way out with Mr. Humphreys reminding them of an essay that was due on Friday.

"So, James, did Ms. Riley explain what you're going to be helping me with today?"

"Just that you're working on the protego shield with your sophomore level class."

"Correct. Do you feel more comfortable casting spells at the shield or creating the shield yourself."

Harry shrugged. "Might be safer if you let me cast the shield." Harry didn't want to explain that the last time he used many of the spells taught in defense, he had been trying to cast them as strongly as possible. And he wasn't sure what spells he would be allowed to cast anyways. Seeing too many things that could go wrong, Harry confirmed, "Yah, I'd rather cast the shield."

"Ok. I just don't want to hurt you if your shield fails."

Harry doubted it would. "Well, if it does, then I've earned it."

"After the lecture and demonstration, we'll both go around and help students with casting the spell. I'll have them pair up tomorrow to actually test the spell on each other's jinxes. There's two classes - they end on the hour."

It turned out that students at least in Marietta Magnet had the same classes every day Monday through Friday, with each class an hour long, with the exception of a weekly potions lab (that was only on one day of the week, in the morning.) The last classes of the day ended at 6 pm, which seemed late to Harry, but students started later in the morning than they did at Hogwarts.

Soon the classroom was full of students and Harry was standing up by Mr. Humphreys feeling pretty out of place truth be told. He had an easier time leading the DA since he knew most of the folks who went, and they all knew whom he was. None of these students knew who James Black was. Harry hoped that they would pay attention to him when he went around helping them out with their shields.

"Ok class, settle down. Let me introduce you to James Black. He's from the Emory ELVES club, and is going to be helping out with classroom demonstrations. He's to be given the same level of respect as I am, according to Ms. Riley, and you know better than to upset her." Mr. Humphreys grinned. "Yesterday we talked about the shield spell protego and now it's time to see it in action. James here has volunteered to be the guinea pig and try to shield himself from my spells. James, if you would, go ahead and cast the spell."

James nodded, and cast protego. Mr. Humpreys pointed out exactly how James had done it, from the wand motion to the correct pronunciation. He had James demonstrate it again, this time a little slower, so they could note the correct motion. Then it was time to show what the shield could do. Without giving James much warning, Mr. Humphreys cast a spell at his shield.

Harry's shield held up with ease, but Harry had a sudden, quick flashback to the final battle. He knew it couldn't be real, but remembered all of the different spells flying back and forth. No one had caught him unaware with a spell since that battle, and Harry hadn't been prepared for it. Mr. Humphreys noticed something was a little off based off how the shield flickered, but quickly distracted the students in the classroom with a quick lesson on what the shield charm could and could not deflect. After a long minute in Harry's mind, he snapped out of it and smiled faintly at Mr. Humphreys.

At the request of Mr. Humphreys, Harry again raised his shield charm, this time putting quite a bit of power in it. Mr. Humphreys told the class he was trying to break the shield using enough strong spells, but they weren't making a dent in Harry's shield. Seeing the inquisitive look begin to appear on Mr. Humphrey's face, Harry let his shield fall and get struck by a disarming spell. Harry kept his feet, but let his wand sail over to Mr. Humphreys.

"And there we have it class. Now, James and I are going to go around the class and help you with your casting." James nodded and began giving students pointers one on one in casting their spells. He went around correcting wrong pronunciations and incorrect hand movements. One student had been so shocked when he had gotten it correct that he threw his wand across the room. Harry thought that was a pretty odd defense mechanism, but apparently it wasn't the first time it had happened to the poor kid. By the end of the class, each of the students was able to cast a basic protego shield, although some were pretty weak. When the bell rang, Harry jumped, but the students headed out of the class. Mr. Humphreys quickly turned to Harry.

"James, are you ok?"

"Yes sir."

"You don't need to call me sir. In fact, when students aren't here, just call me Kyle. You blanked on me when we tested that shield spell. Will you be able to hold it together for the next class?"

"Of course sir."

"And thanks for letting your shield fall. We need to talk more young man. Because there's clearly more to you than meets the eye."

Harry suddenly panicked, and clearly his poker face was pretty terrible because Mr. Humpreys said, "Oh, not today, I'm sure you need to get back to Emory and all." Mr. Humphreys was looking at Harry even more oddly now, but soon the students began filing in to the classroom, putting an end to the sudden conversation.

Harry managed to make it through the second class, but fled like a man on fire out of the classroom at 6 and back to Ms. Riley's office. He said it had gone well, but couldn't make it Friday. He needed to get ready for the party, and, well, needed to think of a reason why he was so freaked out that wouldn't give Mr. Humphreys a clue that James was Harry Potter. He said he'd be back on Saturday though, and flooed back home.

—-

Harry double checked his party planning list. He had gotten commitments from everyone, and Sarah was able to borrow a car and drive all the muggles over. He had made a trip to the grocery and gotten more than enough drinks - if they managed to drink everything, he'd be flat out stunned. His last batch of cookies were in the oven, a caramel chocolate chip recipe that turned out amazing. They would soon join the fruit and vegetable platter, most of which had come out of his own garden, the cheese plate he had picked up at the organic grocery store, and the miniature quiches, muffins, and "party mix" he had made from scratch. He wasn't sure if he had made enough, so also got some random bags of chips at the grocery as well.

It had been an interesting past couple of days. The invitations went well, although Joey also seemed surprised to be invited, and then made a terrible pun to try and pass the sudden awkwardness between the partners in ceramics. He had already gotten his Arithmancy quiz back, and was a little disappointed in himself for getting an 82 percent on it. He vowed to take the next quiz more seriously, which would be in a week.

All Chappell wanted to do during their morning run earlier had been to talk about his date with Sarah on Tuesday. At this point, even Phillipe was interested in meeting her just so Chappell would "shut up about it."

Tutoring had likewise been interesting - he had a lot more students than the week prior, and didn't even have a chance to take a break. Apparently, word had spread from the sophomores that James was pretty good at defense, and he had students of all ages asking him for help, including the student who tossed his wand in shock after getting the protego shield correct (named Bryce Holly.) Harry was asked by his students to stay a little later, but explained he really had to go. He didn't explain it was to get ready for this party.

He had spent the entire afternoon prepping, and had finished half an hour ahead of schedule. He had gotten his stereo system ready with a selection of CDs he had purchased the day prior lined up and ready to go. He also bought a few movies in case people wanted to watch one. He wasn't sure what they would do at the party other than meet people, so he wanted to have options. He even went through the department store close by and purchased a few games and decks of cards just in case. Glancing at his watch, he decided it was time to take a quick shower and get changed for the party.

At 6:50 he heard the familiar ding of the floo, followed by two more in rapid succession. He made sure he was wearing his hat, then headed upstairs. Ashley, Carolyn, and Suzyn greeted him. He cast a temporary spell on the floo to turn off the dinging, as to not alert his muggle friends something weird was up the stairs they couldn't even see.

"No Lee?" asked Harry.

"He's coming over with his boyfriend."

"Nice room," said Suzyn. Ashley and Carolyn had seen it before, so Harry gave Suzyn a quick tour of the upstairs magical area before leading everyone down to the bottom floor, where most of the party would be occurring. Harry thought that maybe he should have gotten some things to grill, but it was a little late to be changing things now. Assuming this went well, he'd have to throw a cookout at some point.

He showed the three around the second floor, briefly, before leading them into the main room with the television.

"So, I didn't know what people would want to do. So I have music and movies and games. And of course, food. I, uh, might have over done it. All the food is in the dining room though - only place with a big enough table for it all. Go get snacks and stuff."

Harry heard the doorbell and ran off to get it. He opened it and saw Lee and Jim. "Hey guys."

"Heya James. Nice place," replied Jim.

"Thanks for having us over," replied Lee. "Who all is here?"

"Just Ashley, Suzyn, and Carolyn of course," he overheard Carolyn shrieking with glee over something, and motioned for Lee and Jim to follow him in. Carolyn had found the music stash and was already ripping open a CD to start playing.

Lee cleared his throat, and Carolyn promptly dropped the CD she was holding. "Is this-" she began, only to be interrupted by Lee.

"Everyone, this is Jim. My, well, Jim." They hadn't had the talk yet about calling each other boyfriend, so Lee had clearly improvised.

"Hi everyone. Lee tells me he knows y'all from Emory, but I guess I don't have any classes with you."

"And they live off campus," added Lee.

Jim went around and shook everyone's hand, and Carolyn couldn't get the grin off her face. When Jim had his back turned towards her, she gave Lee a not so subtle thumbs up. Harry pointed out where all the food and drinks were, and headed back to the front door to answer the doorbell.

"Hey guys." Sarah, Chappell, Phillipe and Joey had arrived. Harry showed them all inside to where everyone else was congregating. Introductions were awkwardly shared, and Lee immediately eyed Chappell, who was holding Sarah's hand. When Chappell went to meet Carolyn, he had a grin on his face and gave Sarah a hug, whispering something in her ear that caused her to turn bright red.

Soon people were breaking up into smaller conversations, with Harry floating to be the good host. He made sure everyone had a plate of food and was sure to make sure everyone's drinks were filled. Whenever he walked over to Joey and Suzyn, who had struck up a conversation, he heard a terrible joke from Joey. When Harry walked by to check on drinks, Joey said "Hey James! How much do dead batteries cost?"

Harry had no clue. "Beats me?"

Joey replied, "Nothing - they're free of charge!"

This caused some light chuckles from the muggle folks, although clearly not all of his magical friends got the joke.

Lee wanted to get playing a game, and pulled out the game Harry bought in a fit of irony - Taboo. Although they weren't supposed to say any of the words on the card, suffice to say they would not get kidnapped by Death Eaters if they did. After about an hour, the game broke back up into smaller conversations. Carolyn was chatting up Phillipe, and Phillipe was chatting her right back up. Lee and Jim were talking with Sarah and Chappell, and Joey and Suzyn were still engrossed in sharing really terrible jokes.

Harry noticed he didn't see Ashley anywhere and went off to find her. He was slightly worried she might find where he had hidden all of his Harry Potter related materials, and he didn't want another Incident, especially at a party, especially in front of a lot of muggles.

He looked outside and saw her sitting down on one of the chairs on the outside patio. He headed outside to check on her.

"Everything all right Ashley?"

She jumped. "Don't do that."

"Sorry? Just making sure you're ok."

"Jesus, stop trying to be The Perfect Host."

Harry paused and blinked at her. She was clearly angry about something, and Harry didn't know what it was. He figured that "ok" would be a safe response.

She didn't reply, just looked up in the stars, which had finally started to come out. Harry heard her mumble something, but it was so soft he couldn't hear it well.

"Pardon?" he asked.

"I said I'm sorry for being such a crabby bitch lately."

"Crabby? I haven't noticed."

She snorted, loudly. "You don't have to lie to spare my feelings." Harry thought that he needed to lie more often to spare his own feelings than he ever had to lie to spare someone else's feelings.

"I'm not."

She blinked. "Don't you want to know what's wrong?"

"Only if you wish to tell me."

"That's part of the problem. Everyone assumes I wouldn't want to talk about it, or that I'd just be upfront without ever being asked. That all I want to do is study. It'd nice to be asked sometime how I'm doing, or what's on my mind, or what I'm so worried about."

Harry thought back to the confrontation with the Stanleyites. He had indeed assumed if she wanted to talk about it, she'd seek him out. He didn't ask what the problem was, and he hadn't now.

"You're right."

"I am right. About what?"

"I haven't asked. I assumed after meeting with the Stanleyites, if you wanted to talk about it, you'd bring it up. And just now, I knew clearly something was off, and I almost went inside since I figured you didn't want to talk about it. I had assumed you didn't want to talk, or you would have said something."

"You are far from the only one to do that to me James. Everyone does. And I get tired of it. People see me as the strong one - Carolyn's the flighty, emotional one. Lee's the deep, neurotic one. But I'm the silent and strong one. And no one's ever thought any differently. And I'm getting tired of being the strong one all of the time."

Harry couldn't have said it better himself. It was why he fled to America after all - he was tired of being the strong one. But he was still in a fairly emotionally guarded state after The Incident, and wanted to change the topic of conversation. "So, then, how are you Ashley?"

She pointed inside as if to respond. "Look in there. Everyone's coupled up, but I'm out here looking up at the stars, wondering why. Do they all think you and me are supposed to end up together since everyone else is coupled? No offense James, but I'm not interested at all in being in a relationship. But everyone seems to want to pair up or be paired up by someone. And people don't seem to want to accept that I don't want that."

"I know what you mean."

"How could you ever know?"

"I've got no desires to be in a relationship either. I've been in one and it didn't end well, and although parts were nice, parts weren't. I want to focus on myself before having to focus on someone else. I've got too much personal work to do. But I clearly haven't felt the same pressures lately that you have."

"Lee mentioned to me earlier why I didn't try to rope in a boyfriend. It's what set all of this off." She sighed. "I think staying here and seeing everyone in their happy little coupled world is just going to make me even broodier. I'm going to head home - if anyone actually asks, tell them I had to get to work on homework. No one would be surprised at that. Bye James."

With that, Ashley popped back home before Harry could even reply. He absentmindedly hoped that none of the muggles noticed her suddenly disappearing, but imagined he would have heard a scream or something if they had.

Harry sat down on one of the chairs and absentmindedly looked up into the stars. He never much cared for his Astronomy lessons, and didn't believe like the centaurs did that he could tell the future up there. But he understood the appeal of studying the stars. The sheer vastness of it all.

He thought about all of the problems he was having, all the problems Ashley was clearly having, and looked up. Someone, somewhere else on a planet who knows how far away could be looking right back at him, stressing out about all of their problems, just like Ashley had done, just like Harry was doing right now. How could all of the problems he faced, which seemed to be so immense right now, be just a tiny speck on the night sky? His fear of being found out, so all encompassing to him, so insignificant to the greater universe. Maybe his problems were really that small? Maybe he really did need to get out of his head, stop worrying about his problems and his issues? He looked up, hearing the party inside at full swing, and lost himself in thought.


	16. Chapter 16 Sets us apart and alone

Chapter 16 - For the selfishness that sets us apart and alone

A/N: I'm fudging slightly with the dates of a typical Ingathering service, which happens after Labor Day. But, thanks to the mystical powers of authorship, I switched it up to better fit with my imaginary schedule. There is a reason I made Harry get so angsty in this chapter. He's not going to have an easy go of it over the next few chapters. He snaps in this chapter for example, but it's all for the greater good of his healing. I think.

Harry held his glass of water, still unsure exactly why he needed to bring it. The church had switched over to its Fall schedule, and he was going to the 11:15 service with Lee. Lee was going to head over with Jim, leaving Harry to drive to the church by himself for the first time.

Lee told him it was Ingathering last night as the party was winding down, so he had to bring water representing his travels over the summer, and left it at that. Easy enough for Harry, since he had traveled to America. He got some water from his tap and that had taken care of that. But he wasn't sure what they were going to do with the water.

Harry thought back to the party last night as he was cooking himself some breakfast. It had gone well, mostly well, and everyone seemed to have a good time except for Ashley. Yes, they had mostly partnered up, but they were still pretty chatty with one another. Eventually, Joey suggested a movie, and after it had finished, folks headed home, all of them expressing a desire to have another party soon.

His thoughts flashed to the conversation with Ashley last night. He knew exactly what she meant about needing to be the strong one but breaking eventually. And boy had he broken - he had to flee the country to even begin putting the pieces back together again. He had accepted he would die, indeed, would sacrifice himself in order to rid the world of Voldemort. But none of his friends had asked him how he was doing after coming to terms with his own death, experiencing some kind of death that still defied easy explanation, and then coming back to life only to end another's. That would break the best of men, but people assumed he could carry the burden like he always had. Which is why most of the country had been shocked when he fled. He completely understood where Ashley was coming from.

Harry glanced at the clock and decided to head out. On his way out, he glanced at the massive amounts of food left over from the party, neatly organized into plastic containers that took up a large portion of his available counter space. He noted to make way less food next time and that he would have plenty to snack on over the upcoming week. He quickly ran back inside to grab his cup of water and headed to church.

—-

The church was much busier than it had been over the past couple of weeks; apparently they expanded to two services for a reason. It turned out that everyone poured their water in a big container in the front of the sanctuary as they walked in. The minister explained that the water would be purified and used in child dedications throughout the year.

The water represented their community. People came together from different walks of life with different life travels, but when they came together and merged together they became one. The water couldn't be separated back into the smaller containers again. The water lost some of its individuality, yes, but together the water was so much more.

Harry decided to skip the young adult group lunch and head back home. He was still tired from the party last night, but he was still in his head. He thought more about the idea of giving up your individuality to be in a community. He supposed it was true in some aspects. But he thought that even in a community, you still retained your individuality. You gave up part of your freedom to whatever you wanted, but you still maintained who you really were. They couldn't take away his soul and personality, well, without a dementor anyways. And he doubted that any religion that used dementors wouldn't last all that long to begin with.

He did like the idea of belonging to a community, however. He felt like he was starting to build his own community with his friends, but it was certainly limited in scope. The idea of an all muggle community where no one recognized him, accepted him for who he was, not what his name was, was extremely appealing. This, however, led Harry to think about why he needed an all muggle community to belong to, which got Harry upset.

When Harry got home, Harry contemplated getting started on his homework. But he still wasn't in much of a mood to study, and decided to get to work in his garden. He needed some way to relax - it had been another high stress week. There was The Incident last Sunday and then the classroom helping session where he completely freaked out the teacher, and Harry still didn't know how that would work on Wednesday (the mere thought of it caused him to get nervous and attacked some weeds with renewed vigor.) After an hour in the garden, and another bucket of fruits and vegetables to put away (Harry suddenly regretted the fertilizer - he didn't know how in the world he was going to eat that much), Harry headed back inside to take a shower.

—-

Harry was shocked when he saw Suzyn the next morning. She wasn't wearing some incredibly ludicrous hat - indeed, she wasn't wearing a hat at all. Dumbfounded, Harry asked, "Suzyn, where's your hat?"

She shrugged. "Didn't seem like wearing one. You've still got yours though. You should go without it someday you know."

Harry shook his head. "Need it to hide my hideous hair." Harry made a grotesque face, helped by some light transfiguration, and it had the desired effect of Suzyn laughing a little awkwardly loudly.

"So, you seemed to get along with Joey," Harry said.

"His jokes were terrible. Terribly awesome. A pun is the one sure way into my heart."

Harry grinned. "I can't stand his jokes, personally."

She looked insulted. "I don't think I know you anymore James. How could anyone not appreciate them!" She tried to lecture Harry on the way to Transfiguration Ethics, but Harry wasn't having it.

Dr. Naomi passed out their papers from the prior week, and Harry was pretty dismayed at his score of a C and a note asking Harry to see her. Chagrined, he couldn't focus much during class, and at the end of the class he went up to speak with her.

"Yes Dr. Naomi?"

"James, I was pretty disappointed by your last paper. It didn't seem up to your usual standards."

"I'm sorry Dr. Naomi."

"I'm in a rush, but I want to meet with you. It's time for our advising meeting anyways, isn't it? Let's meet up Friday after your Arithmancy class. And I expect better on your next paper. I'll see you Wednesday in class."

Dr. Naomi headed out before Harry had a chance to respond. Couldn't she understand what a terrible week he had had? Couldn't she understand that he had been found out, so of course he wouldn't have been able to focus on the paper? Harry started to get a little angry before he realized that of course she couldn't understand, as he hadn't told her.

Feeling his formerly seething anger evaporate in an instant, Harry started beating himself up for assuming the worst. He should have remembered he hadn't told Dr. Naomi. Harry decided to walk slowly over to the Arithmancy building for his next class, head low, and think about why he had gotten so angry.

—-

Harry wasn't much in the mood for his Intro to Arithmancy class; indeed, his mood continued to get worse throughout the class and was dreading spending the next two hours in Transfiguration Lab partnered with Ashley. Ashley had picked up on the bad mood, and after a moment of hesitation blurted out, "James, what's wrong? You're in even more of a worse mood than me."

"Nothing. Everything. Something's just off and I can't pinpoint it." About fifteen different emotions were running through him - there was a lot of disappointment in his academic performance, guilt he hadn't noticed the pain Ashley was in, embarrassment for how he handled The Incident, afraid that the teacher at Marietta Magnet would realize who he really was, aggravation in general about Britain, and aggravation with himself over not living up to how he thought he ought to be living.

In general, Harry was stewing, and the stew had a lot of ingredients.

"Honestly, Ashley, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok James, but if you do, you know where to find me."

The last thing Harry wanted to do was burden Ashley with all of his problems when she was already tired of being relied on as the strong one. Harry walked in to the transfiguration lab and took his seat, eventually followed by Ashley. Ashley looked like she wanted to say something else, but Harry was saved by the Teaching Assistant for their Lab, Darbi Zhan.

"Good afternoon class! Today we are going to work on transfigurations that change states of matter. As you heard in lecture today, it can be difficult to change the structure of a substance and it's bonding without changing the substance itself…or causing the substance to completely explode.

"So we're going to focus on water in the lab to start with. In part because it's pretty readily available, but mostly because if you accidently inhale it you won't, you know, die if it changes back to a liquid form in your lungs. You'll just have to cough a lot.

"There is no spell for this transfiguration, which of course makes it more difficult than some of the other transfigurations we've done in Lab. You will need to focus your magic on relaxing or strengthening the bonds on a very small level. We are going to begin by focusing on trying to transfigure an entire ice cube to water. Only later in the lab will we focus on how to transfigure only a portion of a substance to another state. That skill is one of the many prerequisites to conjuring. If you don't master this skill and try to conjure up a chair, let's say, then you'll end up accidently transfiguring all the air in the room you're in into wood, and you'll naturally suffocate to death.

"Since we want to try to avoid that, we'll start off small. Under no circumstances are you to attempt transfiguring air into any other substance. If you do so, you will be expelled from this class and probably end up in Alcatraz for killing all of us. You will only focus your energy and magic on transfiguring the ice to water to steam and back again.

"It is easiest to start with transfiguring ice to water - it's easier to subtly break the internal bonds holding the water together than to rearrange them into a more structured form. Yes, Ashley?"

"Ms. Zhan, how does this affect the temperature? Are you producing heat?"

"Only in a way Ashley. See, temperature is the measure of the internal kinetic energy of something. When you break the bonds holding it together, naturally the particles are going to be free to move more and increase their speed, thereby increasing their energy. In a way, you are producing heat or removing heat because the friction with air causes heat. When you're condensing steam down to water, for example, you cause it to interact with air less, thereby reducing friction, thereby reducing it's heat as well as its temperature."

"So, aren't we just, I don't know, zapping heat into the ice to cause it to melt?"

"Ah. There are differences in transfiguring the ice to water and simply heating it up. The first, of course, is speed - once you get it down, the change will be instantaneous, something that you need extreme temperatures for in heat transfers. Although the effects are the same, the process is vastly different. Of course, all kinds of fun things can happen with transfiguration, like breaking what the muggles call absolute zero. It's of course possible to stop all internal energy of something using transfiguration. But I digress.

"I'm going to show you the wand movements to transform a solid to a liquid. But most of what you'll be doing is all about intent. You'll need to visualize the bonds becoming less rigid and then release your magic towards the ice through your wand. Let me demonstrate."

After the demonstration, she passed out an ice cube and had everyone get to work. It took Harry all of five seconds to cause his ice cube to explode spectacularly. Darbi stomped over and started scolding him.

"Transfiguration is more about finesse than power. You focused on too much power, if you focused at all, and the energy you put in caused the ice cube to explode under the sudden breakage of it's bonds. Shape up Mr. Black, this is your warning for this class."

Ashley cringed, shaking ice particles from her hair, but chose to not say anything. That had probably something to do with the look on Harry's face, who was furious, at both himself and at Darbi. Yes, he hadn't been focused, but to say he lacked finesse?

It, indeed, had been a bad week, and kept on getting more added to it.

—

The only highlight of his week had been ceramics. Not Joey, who he ignored after Joey started quizzing him on Suzyn, but the actual class. A piece he had glazed turned out even better than he had expected, and showed him that he could indeed glaze well. They had also started off learning wheel thrown pottery that day, and learned how to center the clay on the wheel (which was much more complicated than Harry had expected it to be) and sculpt a basic vase. Harry was pretty happy with how his basic vase had turned out, and was looking forward to being able to glaze it.

Wednesday's classes failed to go any better, and Harry was caught completely off guard by a pop quiz in his Intro to Transfiguration over the different laws they had covered so far. Harry was pretty aggravated, as he hadn't been studying much for the Intro Class, and was pretty sure he bombed it. He was tempted to go try transfiguring some more ice after he turned in the quiz.

Harry avoided hanging out with his magical friends outside of class that day and simply apparated home after each class and apparated back before his next one. After his Intro to Arithmancy course, he popped back to his house and tried to take a nap.

And was promptly woken up by a nightmare.

Harry woke up sweating. He glanced at the clock and noted it was 7:13. He sat up in bed and began remembering the dream, against his will. It seemed everyone he had loved at some point who had died, his mother, his father, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, even Dobby, appeared in ghostly form and asked why they had died in vain. Harry tried screaming in the dream that they hadn't died in vain, that he was living the life he wanted to live, that he was healing. They laughed at him as if that line about healing had been the funniest joke they had ever heard. Sirius had told him it was a good one, and started another round of laughing.

It broke Harry. He started crying, tears leaking down his face, with no other signs of his brokenness. No panicked heaving, just tears dropping rapidly down his cheek. He started speaking out loud, although he was the only one could hear the words.

"I am trying to heal. I am trying to live a life of my own. I want to heal. I want to move past it all. Move past all the deaths, move past the fear of being who I am, move past all the fears I have. I don't want to let fear rule me. Everyone I ever loved, every adult I ever looked up to, dead, to save me, to let me live out my destiny. I never asked for it - I wish none of it had been necessary. But I can't wish it hadn't happened, because if it hadn't happened I would probably be dead; evil would be ruling over my home land. Who knows how many others would have died. I can't let their sacrifices be in vain.

"But why do I have to be the one to live on their legacies? Why do I have to be the one to make sure their sacrifices aren't in vain? Why do I have to be the one? Will I ever stop being The Chosen One? Will I ever find some kind of internal peace? Or will the nightmares always be there?

"Why can't I trust like I want to? Why can't I be everything I want to be - why does a part of me hide, why does a part of me cringe away at the mere thought of living how I think I ought to live? Surely I've done harder stuff in my life; I came back from death, but I can't seem to move on living my true life."

"Harry-" Harry jumped so far off the bed in shock he managed to fall off of it. Harry pulled himself up and saw Lee staring back at him.

"Lee, get out. How'd you get in?"

"I flooed."

"Why are you here?"

"You missed ELVES and-"

"GET OUT" Harry screamed.

Lee looked conflicted. Harry clearly needed him to stay, but the way the air around him was beginning to heat up, Lee imagined Harry was rather pissed off. To say the least. Lee had realized he was dealing with the Harry Potter that had defeated the most evil wizard in their lifetime.

Lee's gut was screaming at Lee to apparate away and apparate away as quickly as possible. But Lee took a step forward.

"Get out," snarled Harry.

"No. Harry-"

"Will I EVER GET SOME PEACE?" Lee cringed, but it didn't stop Harry. "Do I have to be the hero? Always? Answer me that Lee. Will I ever stop being the bloody Chosen One?"

"Harry," stammered Lee, "you don't have to be perfect."

Harry laughed sarcastically. "Oh please. Yes I do. I'm the bloody Boy Who Lived. Do you know what that's like?"

"Tell me."

"YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW. EVERYONE ELSE DOES. I have to live up to their expectations. All of them. Even the dead, I have to live up to their expectations."

Lee had absolutely no clue what to say, indeed, didn't understand most of what Harry meant. "Harry-"

"And now I have to live up to YOUR expectations too, let me guess. You want me to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again like nothing had ever happened. Like I didn't just get tortured by my nightmares of everyone I've ever loved, dead, disappointed in me."

Lee began to think this was a little out of his league, but ventured a guess. "Harry, you don't have to be perfect."

"Yes I do. Who else will die if I'm not? Will it be you? Dr. Naomi? All of bloody Atlanta?"

"No, Harry-"

Harry didn't let Lee finish the sentence. "I have to be bloody perfect. Perfect in school, perfect in spells, even throw bloody perfect parties. I have to be the strong one too, just like Ashley, but she never had anyone DIE because she wasn't strong enough."

"Harry-"

"Don't say it. People died because I wasn't strong enough. Sirius died because I wasn't strong enough to stop it."

Lee, having no clue who or what Harry was talking about, decided the best route would be to not ask for further elaboration at this point. Frantically trying to think of how to calm Harry down, he briefly considered trying to stun Harry, but realized Harry could wipe him off the face of the Earth just by blinking, especially in this much of a rage.

"It's not bloody fair Lee. I just want to be normal. I don't want to have to live with the thoughts of how I'm disappointing everyone, how I'm not living up to my full potential, how I'm still lying to everyone despite wanting to trust them. So not only am I disappointing the entire living world AND the entire dead world, I'm disappointing MYSELF. I can't do it Lee. I just can't."

Lee took another step forward, but Harry made no motion. He continued to sit there, crying uncontrollably, with a vacant stare. Lee considered hugging again, but doubted Harry would look any differently.

"Can I say something Harry?" Hearing absolutely no reply from Harry, Lee continued, "Ok. Harry, you don't have to be perfect. Wait," Lee said noticing Harry start to turn red and open his mouth, no doubt to scream at Lee some more, "those dead loved ones, would they want to see you driving yourself mad by worrying about being perfect? I haven't ever met anyone perfect, whether they tried to be perfect or not. Everyone is flawed, but one of the secrets to life, I think, is that life happens in those flaws. Life is dealing with those flaws, and that's what makes life so interesting.

"I can't begin to imagine what you've been through. But I know this. I know you are a good person, and I know that you have not disappointed me in any way shape or form."

"Stop lying to me Lee. I know I have. I know you had to be disappointed in me when you found out I was Harry Potter and not easy going James Black. I bet you were disappointed when you found out I had skipped the ELVES meeting or when-"

"No Harry, I wasn't. Want me to take veritaserum to prove it? I was worried for you, not disappointed in you. Like I'm worried about you now."

"The dreams."

"Are just dreams Harry. I don't put much stock in dreams telling you anything meaningful. Just last night I had a dream that me and my dead Grandpa went to a casino and he won five hundred thousand dollars on a slot machine. It was a dream."

"They said I'm not healing."

"Well, Harry, I don't think healing is something you'll ever be done doing. You've taken some steps, but you probably threw yourself into your schoolwork so hard to avoid thinking about it. It's what I would have done at least."

Harry nodded.

"Harry, have you ever thought about talking to someone about all of this?"

"I am. You. Dr. Naomi."

"I mean a therapist."

"No. And I won't. I have to do this on my own."

"That's the first stupid thing I've ever heard you say Harry. No you don't. You've got an entire community of people who would help you if you ask. I'm sure Dr. Naomi can get a healer to help you work through this. They're all bound by confidentiality oaths anyways."

"Absolutely, positively not."

"Why not?"

"Because I'd be admitting I'm too weak to do this by myself. And I am far from being too weak to do this on my own."

Lee saw an opening and took it. Harry might hate him for a bit because of it, and Lee might have to rapidly apparate away if Harry started to attack him, but it was a perfect opening.

"Right. Strong people break down sobbing because of a dream-"

"HOW DARE YOU. GET OUT."

"No."

"This is MY HOUSE."

"No."

Harry stood up and leapt over to Lee. Lee saw it coming and simply took a step back, causing Harry to land flat on his face.

Harry broke yet again, this time sobbing. "Lee, get out, I just tried to hit you."

"If you think you're strong enough to heal on your own, you're mistaken. Therapist or no therapist, you aren't healing enough. It'll take time, it'll take effort. From now on, every Sunday whether you like it or bloody not, me and you, we're going to sit down and talk about everything you went through. I'll listen and if you'll hear them, offer you my thoughts. But you beating yourself up has to stop Harry. Or you'll beat someone else up."

"No."

"Do I have to run away squealing?"

"What?"

"Remember, I said I'd run away squealing if there was a fight."

"Ha. Ha."

"No more of this pretending to be too strong to cope with it all. I will be here Sunday at 6:00, and we will talk about this."

"Or what."

"Or," Lee pondered. "I'm going to Dr. Naomi. And telling her you need to be sent to a hospital."

"I'd run away before that could ever happen."

"Naturally. But I don't think you know how terrifying Dr. Naomi can be if provoked. Do we have a deal?"

"If I say yes, will you get out."

"Yes."

"Then YES."

"Good boy. Sunday at 6. I'll invite myself over for it."

Lee held to his promise and left, but waited for Harry to fall back asleep. Harry slept peacefully, with out a single nightmare haunting him.

—

Things seemed to be better when he woke up the next morning. He remembered he had agreed to talk with Lee, and although he still didn't like the idea, some part of him knew he needed to tell someone. He had woken up in plenty of time to make his first class, especially since Harry was is no mood to run.

Harry heard the sound that meant he had an owl waiting for him. He headed upstairs to check the magical pet room. Taking the post from the unfamiliar owl, which promptly flew off, he began to read.

It was a letter from Ms. Riley. He had skipped his tutoring session, and she wanted to know if he was ok. He noted the number listed, and decided to give her a call while he still had the nerve.

"Ms. Riley, this is James Black."

"James. You didn't come yesterday. Are you ok?"

"Uh, I am now. I'm sorry Ms. Riley."

"I won't sugar coat things then. Look James, we were depending on you being here, and Mr. Humphreys had to scrap his plans. Based off his recommendations, I was considering offering to hire you on a part time basis to be a classroom helper for more times. We make this offer every now and then when one of the ELVES shows particular promise. It's not to be taken lightly, as in addition to a salary you also get course credit. We have three spots a year for this internship. But now I find myself wondering if we offered it to you, if we could count on you to show up for it. It's not to be taken lightly."

"Ms. Riley. I. Just. Thank you but I'm not sure if I want to do that. There are things you should know about me, and I'm not ready to tell them yet."

"Well, I'll leave the offer on the table for two weeks, and if you don't take it, we'll give it to the next qualified applicant. The next time you fail to show up without any notice, I'm going to ask you to not come back. We have to be able to plan, surely you realize this."

"Yes Ms. Riley. For what it's worth, I am sorry."

"Will you be free Friday?"

"I've got a mandatory meeting with my adviser. I'll be there Saturday though."

"See to it. If you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work. Rest up and I'll see you Saturday."

"I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Don't let it happen again."

Harry felt like garbage. He had let someone else down, yet again. Probably let down all the kids too, not to mention the teacher, even though he frankly was worried about the teacher still. The idea of getting course credit and a paycheck for helping out was something to consider - Harry didn't need the money, of course, but he wondered if it might just be something for him to look in to doing. Harry went through his normal routine on Thursday, feeling better with an all muggle day, and by the end of another wheel thrown pottery class, he was feeling somewhat close to normal. The vase he had made on Tuesday had turned out better than it should have, and Harry spent a large portion of the class working on a new vase with a more extended curve and lip. If this vase went well, he'd glaze it to match the decor in his bedroom and use it for the Sunlight Sunflowers from his magical Tia greenhouse. He was already dreading what would come Friday after Arithmancy - the meeting with Dr. Naomi.

—

"Come in James. Close the door behind you."

"Yes Dr. Naomi." After closing the door, Harry sat down on one of the seats. For some reason, he felt about an inch tall. And imagined he would feel even worse throughout the conversation.

"To start off with, how are you?"

Harry didn't suppose he could pass the question. "I'm all over the map Dr. Naomi."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just so hard." Harry waited for her to ask a follow up, but none was coming, so Harry continued, "it's not the classes that are hard. I mean they are but it's manageable. It's everything else. I keep wondering if I made a mistake coming to Emory." Dr. Naomi's eyes got a little wider at this, but kept quiet. "I've broken down more times than I can count over the past couple of weeks. Lee found out, did I tell you that?"

"Lee…"

"Lee Thomas."

"Ah. Minoring in transfiguration, right?"

"Yes. He found out because I was too stupid to realize I wasn't hiding my scar. And he also found me Wednesday when I was at one of my lowest points in recent memory."

"What happened?"

"I had a dream where all my dead friends and family told me I was disappointing them and refusing to heal. And I broke down, and Lee eventually found me. And he forced me to agree to talk with him about everything. Or he'd come tell you to take me to a hospital."

"He did?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes."

"You realize," she said, "if he had come to tell me that, I would have agreed. You've been pushing yourself in all the wrong ways James."

"You can call me Harry for this."

"Ok, you've been pushing yourself in all the wrong ways, Harry. I saw you pushing yourself so hard on your schoolwork, trying to distract yourself, but didn't see you pushing trying to heal. I saw you pushing your friends, trying to distract yourself with their problems and relationships, but not pushing yourself in trying to heal. Harry, it's clear you need to work on it."

"But I am - I know I need to start trusting people and-"

"I can guess how that ends Harry. It ends with you beating yourself up even more because you decided you could trust people, and then you didn't change anything immediately. Changing who you are inside takes TIME Harry. I get the feeling you were wanting to heal yourself immediately. If that were only true, there'd be a lot happier public right now. It's not. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes tears and it takes courage. Yes, keep pushing yourself on your classes, but not as hard as before. Because when you push yourself too hard, like you were doing, the end result is much worse than if you had barely tried at all. I don't want to see you break down Harry."

"That's just because if I did I'd probably end up destroying Atlanta."

"First off, you underestimate me, and you underestimate yourself. And I would say that to any student, not just Harry Potter. Yes, you've had a pretty terrible life, I don't disagree, but there are many other students here fighting their own personal battles. There is no personal battle that is worse than the other - terrible is terrible, difficult is difficult. Your healing process might be longer and more in depth than most, but you're far from the only one fighting his or her own demons right now. But that's neither here nor there.

"Ms. Riley contact me to ask about you becoming one of their three students on staff. And, this might surprise you based off what I just said about pushing yourself too hard, I hope you do it."

"You do?"

"Absolutely. Because I think it'll help you heal. And here's why - you need to see what you helped protect. And you need to see what a difference you can make as yourself, not as simply the boy who was destined to defeat Voldemort. You are helping these students by using your natural gifts, and these children don't have the same expectations on you as others might. And from what I gather, your career at Hogwarts was far from normal - seeing a relatively normal high school experience should be good for you. Take them up on the offer - work it out with them and your schedule."

"But, but Dr. Naomi. They'd want me to help with Defense I assume."

"Correct."

"When I worked with Dr. Humphreys earlier - he knew there was something different about me."

"She did say she had heard you were exceptionally gifted with defense, which is no real surprise."

"But how do I explain it away."

She paused and looked at Harry closely. You've been worried about telling the truth about who you really are. Harry, my honest suggestion for you, the one that would probably be easiest on your soul quite frankly, would be to tell Ms. Riley and the teachers you'd be working with the truth."

"WHAT?"

"Yes. Because the lies would catch up with you and you ARE gifted at defense I'm sure, to the point where it'd be hard to explain away. And you wouldn't want any possible flashbacks or anything."

"They told you about that?" Harry was suddenly angry with Dr. Humphreys. How many people had he told about that defense class?

"No. But honestly Harry, it's not a surprise you'd have flashbacks. You had to fight for your life; of course some flashbacks would come as no surprise. And if you tell the staff there the truth, they would know what to watch for. You can bind them with unbreakable oaths to not tell, indeed, I will serve as your bonder if you do go through with it. And if you do tell them - it would be another reason to take them up on their Internship offer - you would be able to talk to the teachers there as well. I know they have some retired agents on their staff."

"Agents?"

"Oh. Magical Bureau of Investigation. It's the American Wizarding equivalent to British Aurors. They would be able to help you cope with having to have done terrible things. I think it would be a really good idea Harry. Do you trust me?"

"Yes." Harry did trust her. It went beyond wanting to trust her by default; she had proven she was more than trustworthy. What she said hadn't been easy to hear, at all, but he also knew she was right in the advice she had given him so far.

"Then do it. If it goes wrong, I'll be shocked, and I'll offer to even oblivate them if it goes terribly. Talk with Ms. Riley next time you go over to tutor, and if you decide to tell her the truth, call me on the floo and I'll come over to do the vow. I think this has the potential to really help you. Keep up with your schoolwork, of course, and keep to those meetings with your friend Lee."

"I've been going to church as well."

She smiled. "Has it helped?"

"Yes. It's given me more to think about and consider. You were right about it helping me develop a moral and ethical core."

"And I'm sure I'm right about this as well Harry."

Harry took a deep breath. "Ok Dr. Naomi." It would be difficult on Harry, and difficult working something else into his schedule. But if Dr. Naomi was that convinced it would help heal, he should give it a try at least. And if she thought talking with Lee was a good idea, then he'd at least try to approach it with an open mind, even though he still felt worried about it.

"Now," she said pulling out an ice cube from her desk, "I heard you could use a little more practice with this."

Harry groaned, which caused Dr. Naomi to only smile wider.


End file.
